SHARE

DATING ADVICE EVERY MAN (AND WOMAN) NEEDS TO KNOW

liz gunnBy Liz Gunn  ||  Earlier this week someone sent me one of the best YouTube videos I have ever seen. I realize that’s a strong statement given all the goodness YouTube has to offer, but trust me on this one.

This video is not only laugh-out-loud funny, it’s also informative. The clip I’m talking about features an instructor explaining the “Hot-Crazy Matrix” for dating women.

You would be correct in assuming that I don’t have any experience dating women (much to the dismay of this website’s founding editor), but I am a woman, and so I would like to offer my insight on said matrix.

If you’re too lazy or don’t have time to watch the video (it is seven minutes long) then I’ll give you a quick summary: The lesson is all about determining how much crazy a man should tolerate in a relationship, and how this threshold should be based on how hot the woman is. As a woman, I have absolutely no problem with this line of thinking.

Why, you might ask? Because everything in life is about trade-offs and relationships are not immune from such pragmatism.

For example you put up with a job you hate because the pay is good. You drive an older model car because you like not having a car payment. You feed your kid spaghetti on a Saturday night because … wait, scratch that last one.

But you can be honest when it comes to this tradeoff: You put up with that completely deranged girlfriend because she was smoking hot.

The video covers several zones women can fall into; the “no-go zone” (women below a “5” on the hot scale, no matter the crazy), the “fun zone” (women between “5-8” hot, but below “7” on the crazy scale), the “danger zone” (way too crazy, even if she is that hot), the “date zone” (“8-10” hot and below “7” crazy), the “wife zone” (“8-10” hot and “5-7” crazy) and my personal favorite – the group every woman will claim she belongs in – the “unicorn zone” (the hottest and least crazy on the chart).

I ‘m not afraid to say that when the instructor in the video claims at the outset that there are no women below a “4” on the crazy scale – this is actually true.   In fact any woman reading this right now thinking “Hmmph, speak for yourself, I’m not a four on the crazy scale,” well that’s true, too.  You’re probably not a “4.”  You are more likely an “8” or higher.  The more a woman denies being crazy, the crazier she is.

But fear not, girls.  There’s a graph for the boys, too.  With less than a minute left in the video, the instructor shares the male version of the matrix – or the “Hot- Rich Matrix.”

The major difference here is that women have a much larger “no-go zone” but there is a point a man can reach where he has enough money that looks no longer matter.  Remember the female version says that even if a woman is the hottest piece you’ve ever seen, if she’s equally crazy – don’t do it!

According to this guy, women don’t have the same threshold when it comes to looks and money.

It’s no surprise really.  You often see men dating women far out of their league but how often do you see the reverse?  Very rarely.  Men are visual creatures.  What they see is most important to them.  Women on the other hand, are seemingly better at looking past the visual … especially if the dude has tons of cash!

One thing to be very careful of is the old bait and switch.  Women can be quite crafty at hiding their crazy, just as men often go into debt trying to impress a woman in the early stages of dating.  The last thing you want to do is be duped into a relationship with someone in the “no-go zone!”

Of course these are ALL generalizations.  I know plenty of men that could use a good therapist and many who are clearly gold diggers.  I also know women who have extremely high standards for looks, regardless the size of a man’s wallet.  To each their own, I suppose.

I hope you enjoyed this instructional video as well as my two cents on it.  Who knows?  You might have even learned something useful!

Liz Gunn is a wife, mom, author, businesswoman, travel enthusiast, food snob, fashionista, lover of great wine and the No. 1 Gamecock football fan … ever.  A graduate of the University of South Carolina, she lives in Columbia, S.C. with her husband and daughter.