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White House Cocaine Investigation Closed With No Suspects, Arrests

It’s a helluva drug … and apparently a helluva mystery.

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If you are new to this news outlet, you’ll know we approach stories involving recreational drug use a bit differently than the mainstream media. My mile-wide libertarian streak prevents me from supporting the criminalization of recreational drugs – although I must admit the scourge of fentanyl has made me think twice about this position.

Fentanyl is a killer, people … and we will be bringing our audience a story this coming week that puts this issue in its proper perspective.

In the meantime, though, I couldn’t help but weigh in (a bit irreverently) on ‘Cocaine-Gate,’ the controversy (non-troversy?) enveloping the White House of Joe Biden.

For those of you living under a rock, on the evening of July 2, 2023 a dime bag containing a white powdery substance was discovered “inside a vestibule leading to the lobby area of the (West Wing entrance) to the White House,” according to the U.S. Secret Service.

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The substance was found “inside a receptacle used to temporarily store electronic and personal devices prior to entering the West Wing,” the president’s protective agency continued. This discovery prompted “safety closures … to ensure that the found substance was not a chemical or radiological material that threatened the security of the White House.”

Evacuations, in other words …

Ultimately, it was determined the “found substance” was not a bioweapon … just cocaine.

Astoundingly, despite a “methodical review of security systems and protocols,” it turns out the most secure, monitored, recorded area in the entire world had nothing on film which would help identify the coke culprit.

No really … that’s what they are claiming.

“There was no surveillance video footage found that provided investigative leads or any other means for investigators to identify who may have deposited the found substance in this area,” the agency claimed. “Without physical evidence, the investigation will not be able to single out a person of interest from the hundreds of individuals who passed through the vestibule where the cocaine was discovered. At this time, the Secret Service’s investigation is closed due to a lack of physical evidence.”

For real?

Not surprisingly, the Secret Service’s announcement has been greeted with incredulity … except of course, on The View, where one of the show’s vapid co-hosts had the audacity to suggest the drug was planted as part of a conspiracy to impugn the integrity Hunter Biden.

“No matter what the answer would’ve been, they were always gonna blame Hunter Biden,” cohost Ana Navarro claimed. “They are weaponizing Hunter Biden against his dad as an effective tool to get his dad to lose his cool and to get his dad to feel the heartache.”

Wow … talk about taking the far left’s pro-status quo talking points to a new level of absurdity.

My take on all this? You can enjoy that below …

(Click to View)

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Again, it doesn’t bother me cocaine was found in the White House. What bothers me is America has an ass-backward drug policy fueling gang warfare and a fentanyl-ridden black market … both of which are killing people.

Beyond that, what bothers me is those in power are once again parading their “rules for thee, but not for me” in our faces – with government agencies and media mouthpieces all falling in line and expecting us to believe the lies they are selling us.

Think I’m full of it? Why don’t you try walking into the West Wing with a dime bag of blow in your pocket and see what happens …

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …

Will Folks (Brett Flashnick)

Will Folks is the founding editor of the news outlet you are currently reading. Prior to founding FITSNews, he served as press secretary to the governor of South Carolina. He lives in the Midlands region of the state with his wife and seven children.

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6 comments

RC July 14, 2023 at 3:02 pm

Who cares?

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The Colonel Top fan July 14, 2023 at 4:04 pm

Most thinking people who are not Democrat sycophants?

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Frank July 14, 2023 at 7:58 pm

Hunter Biden was not there and had not been there for days. It was either a tourist or a staffer, or maybe it was planted, or perhaps it was a Secret Service Agent. Who knows? But this is just faux outrage from the party of cocaine-fueled orgies. Just ask Madison Cawthorn about those and how he was kicked to the curb when he let that leak out.

Of course, the MAGA cult members, like Will and the Colonel, didn’t care anything about that; and the only reason this interests them is they are desperate to find something Biden has done that is illegal, and they can’t. All of their made-up lies and faux scandals have blown up in their face; while they kiss the ass of a man who stole classified documents, refused to return them, and shared them with God knows who; who orchestrated a violent attempt to overthrow the government of the US and murder the Vice President and numerous Senators and Representatives; who engaged in a conspiracy to submit fake electors to the US congress; who called men who died in battle defending our nation, suckers; and who has probably engaged in more drug and sex parties in his lifetime than anyone who ever set foot in the White House.

Also, I read in the news today that Trump was furious when he heard Jared Kushner may be cooperating with the Smith investigation. Well, if he is maybe has just had it with Trump trying to f*ck his wife. But hey MAGA!

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The Colonel Top fan July 14, 2023 at 8:33 pm

Didn’t vote for the “orange man” either time. My concern here is that one of the (supposedly) most secure buildings in DC has security so lax that they couldn’t figure out who left coke in a staff work area in the West Wing. The White House originally lied and said that it was found in the lobby leading me to believe that they in fact DO KNOW whose coke it was and are now covering it up.

Illegality? Biden tried to give away $430,000,000,000 dollars to buy votes and the USSC told he couldn’t do it. Now he’s announced that he’s going to give away $40,000,000,000 for the same idea (and the same reason, to buy votes) – after having been told he couldn’t do it. He admitted to bribery, if the reality of his dealings with China, Eastern Europe and Russia ever come out it will make Trump’s, admittedly, criminal behavior look like shop lifting candy bars at the Zippy Mart.

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Frank July 17, 2023 at 7:04 pm

Such garbage. There is zero evidence Biden has ever accepted a bribe from anyone. You guys just can’t give up on the MAGA Cult conspiracy theories. As for any possibility of Biden being more corrupt than Trump, that is s total joke. The Saudis alone spent millions of dollars a year staying in Trump Hotels while he was President. They then handed 2 billion dollars to his son-in-law, who has no experience investing money to invest for them and pay himself a fee of millions of dollars a year. XI gave Trump’s daughter valuable, almost impossible to get, Chinese Patents. Other countries also spent millions of dollars with and gave preferential treatment to Trump’s businesses while he was President, and the Saudis just bought out the PGA primarily so that Trump’s golf courses could get tournaments.

As for giveaways, Trump’s tax cuts gave aproximately 1 trillion dollars (many times what you claim Biden is trying to give to former students struggling to pay debts). To the richest 5.00% of Americans, with the vast majority of that going to probably less than a 500 families. He then bragged about how much money he had saved his rich buddies at Mar-A-Lago and asked for votes and contributions.

Trump is the most corrupt president in history, hands down. And he is still lying to the American people about the election and raking in millions of dollars a month from suckers to pay for his leagal bills. I can’t really believe you are stupid enough to believe Biden has done even a small fraction of the things Trump has done to screw this Country.

But I look at facts. Since Trump left office, the stock maket is up; unemployment is down and is in fact at 50 year lows, GDP is way up, Biden has cut Trump’s annual deficit in half; NATO is more united than at any time in the past 30 to 40 years. We have two new NATO members, and Ukraine is destroying the Russian Army. China is no friend of Biden. He has increased tariffs on their products, he has fought to contain their military expansion; over their objection he has strengthened ties with Taiwan; He has strengthened ties with Japan, S. Korea, The Philippines, and Australia.

If the Republicans and Trump had been running the country, Ukraine would have easily been taken by Russia, Taiwan would probably have been taken by China, and Russia would be planning an invasion of the Baltic States and Poland. Because Putin knows Trump would never oppose him and that even if he did he could be paid off with a few billon dollars.

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J Monday Top fan July 15, 2023 at 12:43 pm

Shocking that nothing was discovered & that there will be no accountability. No, wait…?

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