Pop

Kim Kardashian Bares The Booty

“BREAKS THE INTERNET …” By FITSNEWS || We don’t get the whole Kardashian thing.  Apparently they’re the most famous family in the world and every mindless utterance they make is newsworthy … and thus broadcast on national television.  Which is a pretty high level of fame to have achieved on the…

“BREAKS THE INTERNET …”

By FITSNEWS || We don’t get the whole Kardashian thing.  Apparently they’re the most famous family in the world and every mindless utterance they make is newsworthy … and thus broadcast on national television.  Which is a pretty high level of fame to have achieved on the basis of a leaked sex tape seven years ago.

Unlike two million loyal reality television viewers we don’t “Keep Up With the Kardashians.”  We know one of them (the mother?) is married to former U.S. Olympian Bruce Jenner – who looks like a cross between Skeletor and Michael Jackson’s corpse these days.  Meanwhile Kim (the most famous one) is married to rapper Kayne West.  Or some basketball player.

We forget …

The whole family is a babbling monument to the vapidity of American society … and in the event our nation’s military industrial complex is successful in provoking a second Cold War with Russia, we hope the first nuke detonates squarely over their home.

The only redeeming thing about this entire family?  Kim’s booty – which is the focus of a revealing photo shoot in the winter 2014 editions of New York’s Paper magazine.

“For our winter issue, we gave ourselves one assignment: Break The Internet,” the outlet noted.  “There is no other person that we can think of who is up to the task than one Kim Kardashian West.  A pop culture fascination able to generate headlines just by leaving her house, Kim is what makes the web tick.”

Well, until Barack Obama gets a hold of it … (the internet, not Kardashian’s rump).

To view the explicit image of Kardashian’s famed rear end for yourself (NSFW warning), CLICK HERE.

And yes … that’s impressive.  Like, national landmark impressive.  Something that needs to be preserved for posterior … err, posterity.  But again … if your fame is based exclusively on your backside (and the voluminous number of people who have been permitted access to it), is it worth having?

Our guess is Kardashian’s estimated $70 million net worth is sufficient for most people to answer that question …

UPDATE: Looks like the booty thing is bigger than we thought.  Literally.

***

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26 comments

Nölff November 12, 2014 at 9:44 am

It would be like slapping a waterbed.

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shifty henry November 12, 2014 at 10:53 am

Would that be a ‘good thing’ or a ‘bad thing’…?

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The world is filled with grey November 12, 2014 at 10:57 am

Sometimes it’s neither, just a different experience.

:)

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Nölff November 12, 2014 at 10:59 am

I took a look at it. I’d hit it.

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Timmy Tebow November 12, 2014 at 4:22 pm

You’d hit it and bounce off.

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RogueElephant November 12, 2014 at 10:22 am

Must be a very slow news day.

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shifty henry November 12, 2014 at 10:51 am

Today, November 12 is officially—–

“CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL DAY”

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Tunes'n'News November 12, 2014 at 10:28 am

Oh we’re so pretty,
Oh so pretty,
Vacant.

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Squishy123 November 12, 2014 at 10:41 am

Great, so now Will is expanding into TMZ territory.

I guess this is just a progression like what we saw on the Discovery Channel and the History Channel where Honey Booboo and scripted reality shows are now the norm for those channels.

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Smirks November 12, 2014 at 11:08 am

TLC used to be “The Learning Channel.” MTV used to be “Music Television.” CNN used to be “Cable News Network.” There’s no shortage of channels that went down the road of shitty “reality” TV for the $$$ and completely left their original purpose at the door.

The Free Market has spoken, it’s just spoken to the lowest common denominator is all.

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sparklecity November 12, 2014 at 12:15 pm

Right you are Sir Smirks!!!!!

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Walmart is successful too November 12, 2014 at 3:56 pm

“The Free Market has spoken, it’s just spoken to the lowest common denominator is all.”

We have met the enemy, & he is us.

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sparklecity November 12, 2014 at 12:14 pm

Couldn’t agree more
Sure am glad I have a bunch of VCR tapes of the History Channel plus a few of Discovery Channel before those networks went into the shitter.
Greatly disappointed in both networks fer sure.
I’ve got two combo VCR/DVD players in unopened boxes if/when my present DVD/VCR combo player craps out!!!

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+1 November 12, 2014 at 7:15 pm

Love those things, you can still score them on Amazon btw…I use them for my kids because the wife picks up old Disney movies on VHS for .25 at garage sales.

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Squishy123 November 12, 2014 at 10:42 am

If I wanted to see a fat ass, I’d just go to Walmart.

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Roger Griffith November 12, 2014 at 2:13 pm

fat or callipygian!?! Help Kim Kardashian break the internet http://vinesnap.net/#kimkardashian

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Out of proportion November 12, 2014 at 10:59 am

She looks like a fuckin cartoon, Jessica Rabbit.

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easterndumbfuckistan November 12, 2014 at 12:12 pm

Yawn! Tits or GTFO!!!!

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mamatiger92 November 12, 2014 at 12:43 pm

um photoshop?

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rwwllms November 12, 2014 at 7:01 pm

Definitely photoshopped. A fake picture of a fake person.

Here’s Chelsea Handler’s rebuttal: https://www.facebook.com/chelseahandler?fref=nf

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Doobster November 12, 2014 at 1:01 pm

That’s just plain nasty! And not in a good way.

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Buz Martin November 12, 2014 at 1:02 pm

Back to the FITSNews “Bread and BUTTer.”

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Squishy123 November 12, 2014 at 2:28 pm

Someone has already age enhanced the picture to show what it’ll look like in 5 years.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B2NZE9jCIAA4swD.jpg:large

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euwe max November 12, 2014 at 5:11 pm

yuck!

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shifty henry November 12, 2014 at 7:38 pm

Coco Austin (alias Coco-T)……better proportions

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Mguzman November 13, 2014 at 6:44 am

wonder if she “moos” when she wakes up?

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