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Bulletproof Vest Testing: South Carolina Style

THE HERD THINS … We feel sorry for 25-year-old Blake Randall Wardell of Honea Path, S.C. We really do. Same for his friends and family. Be that as it may, though, we’re going to shout from the rooftops the bizarre circumstances of his untimely demise in the hopes others don’t follow…

THE HERD THINS …

We feel sorry for 25-year-old Blake Randall Wardell of Honea Path, S.C. We really do. Same for his friends and family. Be that as it may, though, we’re going to shout from the rooftops the bizarre circumstances of his untimely demise in the hopes others don’t follow his lead.

According to WYFF TV 4 (NBC – Greenville, S.C.), Wardell discovered an old bulletproof vest early Friday morning, put it on and asked someone to shoot him in the chest.

Someone did – except the bullet struck above the vest’s Kevlar and pierced Wardell’s heart.

He died despite the best efforts of deputies to resuscitate him.

Eighteen-year-old Taylor Ann Kelly originally told Anderson County, S.C. authorities that she was the one who pulled the trigger, but police have since arrested a 25-year-old man named Timothy Fisher and charged him with involuntary manslaughter in connection with the shooting.

Cue another round of embarrassing national media headlines for South Carolina in 3, 2, 1 …

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54 comments

Mr. Friendly May 16, 2014 at 3:28 pm

…..and the winner of this year’s Darwin Awards goes to……(drum roll please)

Randall Wardell!
(applause, clapping, etc.)

Since Mr. Wardell isn’t here to claim his prize, Ms. Kelly has offered to claim it for him around 5-8 years from now.

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Smirks May 16, 2014 at 3:47 pm

Guns don’t kill people, but it appears inbreeding does.

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BigC May 16, 2014 at 6:35 pm

Yep, I need to tell Tango, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

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TontoBubbaGoldstein May 16, 2014 at 3:58 pm

PRO TIP:

Always test bulletproof vests using a dummy.

*oh wait…..

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Jackie Chiles May 16, 2014 at 3:58 pm

Other stories seem to indicate that it was a flak jacket and not a bullet proof vest, making it even worse.

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Bible Thumper May 16, 2014 at 4:02 pm

In which case they should’ve used a grenade.

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euwe max May 16, 2014 at 5:34 pm

yet and still… even wearing a vest, you can end up with a cracked sternum and broken ribs.

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Jackie Chiles May 19, 2014 at 10:11 am

Probably found a Vietnam War era flak jacket and thought it was bullet proof. Darwin is tough, but fair.

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euwe max May 19, 2014 at 6:15 pm

Fits said “kevlar”… are you doubting its journalistic integrity???

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easterndumbfuckastan May 16, 2014 at 3:59 pm

Let’s not WASTE money on prosecuting anyone related to this incident. Let’s just take away all the warning labels and let things sort themselves out.

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The Colonel May 16, 2014 at 4:18 pm

Why bother with the warning labels, none of these slack jawed imbeciles have ever read one.

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easterndumbfuckastan May 16, 2014 at 9:13 pm

Just put them in a room with a lot of dangerous toys and let’s see what happens. I think we should video it though.

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The Colonel May 16, 2014 at 9:34 pm

In high definition.

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junior justice May 17, 2014 at 10:49 am

— inflatable clowns (or other person of choice) pop-up punching bags, and in a dark room?

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CorruptionInColumbia May 17, 2014 at 12:27 pm

Inflatable clowns? Would that be the ones with the three vibrating, pulsating, orifices?

junior justice May 17, 2014 at 7:54 pm

Sorry, TBG, but don’t you remember the article about the guy with the doll (that was ‘pre-code’ on Fitsnews, by the way) when we could see pics?

scotty May 16, 2014 at 4:03 pm

If your going to be dumb you have to be tuff!!!

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Nölff May 16, 2014 at 4:05 pm

I remember back in the 90’s in Ware Shoals, my home town, when two of the only three cops in the town got bored and decided to try out thier bullet proof vests. They wrote a report and had a week long search for some imaginary black guy wearing a ski cap in the middle of June. SLED called them out on their shit.

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aikencounty May 16, 2014 at 11:07 pm

Ware Shoals, 17 miles south of GOD’s country!

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The Colonel May 16, 2014 at 4:16 pm

Wow, just wow. This is enough to make me think gun control make actually be necessary. I propose a modification to the second amendment, it work go something like this, “ the right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed unless you are a mouth breathing cretin or a just plain dumbass..”

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happy May 16, 2014 at 5:19 pm

Or typical South Carolinian.

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The Colonel May 16, 2014 at 9:33 pm

I’d venture to guess you could more readily find a hundred South Carolinians who can safely handle firearms faster than you could find a hundred folks in just about any other state, Texas excluded. This stupidity handles a lot more often than you’d expect.

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euwe max May 17, 2014 at 6:42 pm

I’d venture to guess you could more readily find a hundred South Carolinians who can safely handle firearms faster than you could find a hundred folks in just about any other state
———-
… yeah, you could find them faster.. but only because they’re all felons on parole.

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euwe max May 16, 2014 at 5:30 pm

I’m just sayin’,…

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euwe max May 17, 2014 at 2:13 pm

do you *really* want a bunch of new recruits running around town carrying loaded weapons?

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major major May 16, 2014 at 4:28 pm

Most common last words of a southern good ol’ boy: “Hey everybody–watch this!”

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Same ol' Same ol' May 16, 2014 at 5:14 pm

sorry ’bout that, didn’t mean to repeat. we are reading challenged, you know.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein May 16, 2014 at 10:29 pm

All these years, TBG has been saying, “Hold my beer and watch this.”

Must be why I’m still around. : )

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Stymie Yelodog May 18, 2014 at 12:45 pm

We Southern good ol’boys would say “y’all” not “everybody”.

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MikeSC May 16, 2014 at 4:35 pm

I’m kinda surprised they didn’t try it on someone NOT wearing a vest first… just to see what the difference would be..

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Same ol' Same ol' May 16, 2014 at 5:14 pm

They called 911, said “I think he’s dead”, 911 said, “make sure now, y’all”, “ok” was the response…. seconds passed, then BAM!, back on the phone they said, “yep, he’s dead”.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein May 17, 2014 at 4:37 pm

I’m kinda surprised they didn’t try it on someone NOT wearing a vest first… just to see what the difference would be..

TBG, in the name of SCIENCE!, nominates GrandTango (both of them) as the control group.

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Stymie Yelodog May 16, 2014 at 4:57 pm

Too small for a republic, just right for an insane asylum.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein May 16, 2014 at 8:58 pm

Cousin?

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Stymie Yelodog May 17, 2014 at 6:44 am

Hallmate.

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Limbaughsaphatkhunt May 19, 2014 at 1:28 am

We already take in nuclear waste and toxic waste…we might as well be the dumping ground for the whole of the USA including its citizens. Sort of like GA was a penal colony back in the day. We can be America’s garbage can.

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Stymie Yelodog May 19, 2014 at 8:15 am

Dumping ground? We residents of the asylum were born and bred in my beloved state.

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Alec May 16, 2014 at 5:02 pm

Sheesh… That guy’s dumber than my brother. Or, was dumber…

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Same ol' Same ol' May 16, 2014 at 5:11 pm

Hey y’all, watch ‘isss…
un fucking believable.

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euwe max May 16, 2014 at 5:32 pm

Don’t hand a loaded gun to a dude using pomade.

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junior justice May 18, 2014 at 6:01 am

—– especially if the dude doesn’t wash his hands before squeezing the trigger

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junior justice May 18, 2014 at 5:05 pm

Max, what is the brand of pomade Clooney used in “Brother, Where Art Thou” ? — I can’t remember the name.

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euwe max May 18, 2014 at 5:31 pm

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I don’t want Fop, goddamn it! I’m a Dapper Dan man!

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junior justice May 18, 2014 at 7:08 pm

—-thanks

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idcydm May 16, 2014 at 5:39 pm

This guy’s family tree is a 2X4.

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Bible Thumper May 16, 2014 at 7:55 pm

Is that GrandTango in the pic? It looks like his bike

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RogueElephant May 16, 2014 at 11:22 pm

cleansing the gene pool is never a bad thing.

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Shitfore Brains May 17, 2014 at 4:53 am

Dumbass.

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CNSYD May 17, 2014 at 6:13 am

Appears Sic Willie may have “jumped the gun” on this one. Always a good idea to get all the facts before pontificating.

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aikencounty May 17, 2014 at 7:35 am

When I saw the location , I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the participants HAD to be Ashley’s and McGahee’s.

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Barney fife May 18, 2014 at 11:31 am

No one is born this stupid. They really had to work on it.

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Limbaughsaphatkhunt May 19, 2014 at 1:24 am

More guns would have helped stop this tragedy.

In fact, more guns are the answer to everything.

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Sandlapper May 19, 2014 at 10:00 am

One less straight Republican vote in November.

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dsmith May 20, 2014 at 5:50 am

With all of the cell phone cameras someone had to be recording this.

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