SC

SC Lawmaker: St. Peter Is Gay

… AND THE PEARLY GATES HOLD QUITE A SURPRISE FOR CHRISTIANS A South Carolina lawmaker told an audience at a public hearing this week that Christians would “be surprised when (they) got to heaven” and were greeted by a homosexual – who would then turn them away. Translation? St. Peter…

… AND THE PEARLY GATES HOLD QUITE A SURPRISE FOR CHRISTIANS

A South Carolina lawmaker told an audience at a public hearing this week that Christians would “be surprised when (they) got to heaven” and were greeted by a homosexual – who would then turn them away.

Translation? St. Peter – the “rock” upon which Jesus Christ built his church – is gay.

The bizarre remarks were made by S.C. Rep. Gilda Cobb-Hunter (D-Orangeburg) in response to an effort by Upstate evangelical lawmaker Garry Smith – a Republican from Greenville, S.C. – to strip higher ed funding for pro-gay propaganda.

This website supports Smith’s effort … but only because we believe all higher education funding should be stripped.

But that’s another argument for another post …

Smith adopted a very SMH (cool kid lingo for “shaking my head”) approach to Cobb-Hunter’s comment.

“I would say I was shocked at what was said … but I wasn’t,” Smith told FITS, adding that he hoped Cobb-Hunter would be held accountable for her remark.

Will she?

Holding deep breaths in 3, 2, 1 …

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44 comments

???????????????? February 20, 2014 at 6:06 pm

How about covering the fact that the latest Haley screw-up has cost the taxpayers 192K + attorney fees?

http://www.wistv.com/story/24774371/settlement-reached-in-occupy-columbia-case

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Sometimes no sex is better February 20, 2014 at 6:13 pm

If St. Peter is gay it’s because Gilda Cobb-Hunter made him that way.

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Anonymous February 20, 2014 at 8:03 pm

I think it was Gilda’s bff, Jean Toal. They both “hate” all corruption – unless it benefits them.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein February 21, 2014 at 7:13 am

Now TBG does not believe anyone could turn him gay, but….if GC-H was the last woman on earth…at the very minimum, TBG would become “militantly celibate”!

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shifty henry February 21, 2014 at 8:41 am

There have been times when Shifty has wondered that if I were the last man on earth, would what those women told me still be true?

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Fwankie Spwankie Gwass February 24, 2014 at 9:32 am

Shifty, of course what they twold you is twue its twue, and yes I ama gwirl and its yours big boy, right after St. Peter dicks me.

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euwe max February 20, 2014 at 6:27 pm

Politics is the perfect place for religion.

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Smirks February 20, 2014 at 6:28 pm

Who cares?

People in the Bible fucked their cousins, their daughters, you name it. Kings had multiple wives and droves of concubines. And yet we care more about some dude boning another dude getting a piece of paper than we do world hunger, suffering, violence, pollution, corruption, and devastation. Unless you’re one of those ignorant dumbasses that blames all of that on that dude boning the other dude.

The only thing I will say is that God definitely didn’t approve of the pull-out method.

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GrandTango February 20, 2014 at 7:04 pm

Christian haters gone hate.

Hate like yours leads to genocide. America has had to defend against Bigots like forever. And we ALWAYS defeat you, no matter how much Obama and the Muslim Brotherhood and Dr. Vermin Goslin embolden you.
People like you get a little traction for a while…but you fall and burn in the end.

History has taught you nothing.

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Thomas February 20, 2014 at 8:07 pm

Looks like Karl Smirx is stepping up his foul mouthed heathenry to get attention. Ignore him…he hates that. Others have filled the gap and frankly, are more readable and actually funny when compared to Smirx.

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Ghost Of Kaufman February 20, 2014 at 9:14 pm

Just noticed how fucking good your deadpan is…comical as as all hell.

Funny Smirks gets more upvotes…

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GrandTango February 21, 2014 at 8:44 am

On a side note: Hitler leads the up-vote count in H#!!…

The Colonel February 21, 2014 at 10:54 am

GT, if you’re going to be Biblical and refuse to spell out Hell, why don’t you be really Biblical and go with Sheol? Using *#&#^ in place of gratuitous profanity is occasionally funny, I even use it from time to time, but not in every damn post!

Deo Vindice SC February 23, 2014 at 5:29 pm

you are not very far behind Herr Tango.

Hah hah hah February 21, 2014 at 11:11 am

He said filled the gap!

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Deo Vindice SC February 23, 2014 at 5:28 pm

Republicans are either gay or pediphiles, take your pick.

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GrandTango February 20, 2014 at 7:09 pm

Typical intolerant, hate-filled democrat.

Democrats lustily voted to exterminate the word ‘God’ from their Platform language at the 2012 Democrat Convention. And Obama said we are not a Christian nation, all the while he says he is a Christian…reciting the Muslim Call To Prayer….

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kyle February 20, 2014 at 11:31 pm

Presbyterian, love God and a believer. However, I look at posts like GT and just shake my head and wonder what went wrong in his fetal development. Just saying…

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GrandTango February 21, 2014 at 8:33 am

So you reject what I stand for and agree w/ Gilda-Cobb Salad???…

PS: Do you agree w/ some hierarchy in some sects of the Presbyterian Church, that homosexual marriage should be sanctioned by the church?

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Deo Vindice SC February 23, 2014 at 5:31 pm

Quit playing with young boy’s pee pees republican.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein February 21, 2014 at 9:13 am

PS: Why did FITS fail to ID the party of the politicians who said this, in the headline???…Anyone surprised???

Because if the headline had said anything about GC-H or Democrat, everyone would have nodded sagely, said “Meh” and not read the article.

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RHood2 February 21, 2014 at 10:09 am

The only lusty vote at the DNC on the floor about the word God was to include it in the platform,. I was there. But don’t let facts get in your way.

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Thomas February 20, 2014 at 8:00 pm

Well, no. Under the 613 Commandments of Mosaic Law, well, homosexuality ranked pretty high. Coming in at 156 out of 613 as something forbidden and subjected to capital punishment is kind of indicative that is was not genetic.

138-Not to have sexual relations with your mother — Lev. 18:7

139-Not to have sexual relations with your father’s wife — Lev. 18:8

140-Not to have sexual relations with your sister — Lev. 18:9

141-Not to have sexual relations with your father’s wife’s daughter — Lev. 18:11

142-Not to have sexual relations with your son’s daughter — Lev. 18:10

143-Not to have sexual relations with your daughter — Lev. 18:10

144-Not to have sexual relations with your daughter’s daughter — Lev. 18:10

145-Not to have sexual relations with a woman and her daughter — Lev. 18:17

146-Not to have sexual relations with a woman and her son’s daughter — Lev. 18:17

147-Not to have sexual relations with a woman and her daughter’s daughter — Lev. 18:17

148-Not to have sexual relations with your father’s sister — Lev. 18:12

149-Not to have sexual relations with your mother’s sister — Lev. 18:13

150-Not to have sexual relations with your father’s brother’s wife — Lev. 18:14

151-Not to have sexual relations with your son’s wife — Lev. 18:15

152-Not to have sexual relations with your brother’s wife — Lev. 18:16

153-Not to have sexual relations with your wife’s sister — Lev. 18:18

154-A man must not have sexual relations with an animal — Lev. 18:23

155-A woman must not have sexual relations with an animal — Lev. 18:23

156-A man must not have sexual relations with a man — Lev. 18:22

157-Not to have sexual relations with your father — Lev. 18:7

158-Not to have sexual relations with your father’s brother — Lev. 18:14

159-Not to have sexual relations with someone else’s wife — Lev. 18:20

160-Not to have sexual relations with a menstrually impure woman — Lev. 18:19

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Ghost Of Kaufman February 20, 2014 at 9:17 pm

Well, how the fuck did Adam and Eve get us here???

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Marks February 21, 2014 at 11:21 am

Adam and Eve begat Cain and Abel. Cain killed Abel. Cain begat children. Eve was the only female available so….

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The Colonel February 21, 2014 at 1:01 pm

Not exactly, Adam was the first man and Eve was the first woman nowhere does the Bible say that there were not other men and women outside of the Garden. You don’t understand quantum physics or gravity either but they exist just the same. Don’t sweat the details consider the moral lesson – if you decide it doesn’t apply to you move on. Would a god who you understood completely still be God?

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Mike at the Beach February 20, 2014 at 10:31 pm

Am I missing it, or does your list make chic-on-chic OK? That’s just awesome.

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The Heretic February 20, 2014 at 10:51 pm

Ya know what I was thinking when I read this list?

Jesus, God is a real cynic.

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The Colonel February 21, 2014 at 12:28 pm

Let me sum it all up for you – have sex with your wife and your wife only.

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Arlen Cooper February 23, 2014 at 11:31 am

But she only wants sex when I am out of town!

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St. Michael February 24, 2014 at 9:37 am

That does not apply to “Henry and Nikki,” right?, Colonel.

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Fwankie February 24, 2014 at 9:34 am

I am so doomed, I did not make it with my favorite of all, the menstrual bukkake, number 160, FUCK! This monkey is not going to heaven.

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Centrist View February 20, 2014 at 8:19 pm

I wonder how they felt about USC teaching a course on Lady Gaga?

Sociology professor will teach Lady Gaga course

http://www.sc.edu/news/newsarticle.php?nid=1347

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Slartibartfast February 20, 2014 at 8:22 pm

Wrong St. Peter, Gilda. You’re thinking of St. Peter the Tailor – he who sews and knits..

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TontoBubbaGoldstein February 21, 2014 at 9:06 am

“Wrong St. Peter, Gilda. You’re thinking…

That’s where you lost TBG.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein February 20, 2014 at 8:24 pm

Consider the source….

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Native Ink February 21, 2014 at 8:38 am

Peter loved alcohol but was scared of women. Muhammed was a womanizer but disliked alcohol. (Alcohol was seen as a foreigner’s vice, and Muhammed was a widower who wanted to play the field). So in one religion, alcohol is part of the sacrament, but sex is frowned upon and tightly controlled. In the other religion, alcohol is banned, but men are allowed to have many wives. Normal people are called sinners when really they just don’t have the same vices as Peter or Muhammed.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein February 21, 2014 at 9:05 am

UH OH!

TBG likes ’em both!

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Bomb Thrower February 21, 2014 at 9:36 am

“Muhammed was a womanizer but disliked alcohol.”

Wasn’t his “vice” more along the lines of child molestation?

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The Colonel February 21, 2014 at 10:54 am

You beat me to it, he was a pedophile.

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Native Ink February 21, 2014 at 1:55 pm

You’re right. Aisha was 9 when Muhammed married her. My favorite Muhammed story is when he was discovered with another woman by his wife. His wife was furious of course, but Muhammed told her that he had been visited by the archangel Michael who commanded him to wed this other woman too. So Muhammed wasn’t fooling around, he was obeying God’s orders. You gotta hand it to him. He had all the slick moves.

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Sin makes your skin black February 21, 2014 at 9:10 pm

Reminds me of special plates that can only be read by a person with a special gemstone…and before anyone can see what’s on the plates that person “loses” the gemstone.

Even his own wife was a skeptic.

Arlen Cooper February 23, 2014 at 11:27 am

Gilda probably thinks she is a Christian, only in the genre of Rev’ Sharp’tongue.

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Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater February 24, 2014 at 9:45 am

Everybodys Gay, thats how Gilda knows. But here is a gay song for your listening pleasure, St. Peter and Gilda sent it to me in a wet dream, real wet, sloppy,oh sooo good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VG1bj4Lj1Q

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