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America: Not Birthin’ No Babies

The United States fertility rate plunged to another record low in 2012 according to data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC). Last year there were 63 live births per 1,000 women – down from 63.2 in 2011. That’s the lowest measurement since the government began tracking fertility rates…

The United States fertility rate plunged to another record low in 2012 according to data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC). Last year there were 63 live births per 1,000 women – down from 63.2 in 2011.

That’s the lowest measurement since the government began tracking fertility rates in 1909.

In 2007 – prior to the onset of the recession – there were 69.3 live births per 1,000 women.

Low birth rates ultimately mean fewer workers in the labor force, although America’s labor force has been doing a fine job of shrinking on its own lately. Hmmmm … shrinkage. Another issue when it comes to low fertility rates, right?

Obviously our founding editor Will Folks (a.k.a. Sic Willie) has been doing everything within his power to buck this trend, welcoming the lovely (and exceedingly sassy) Johanna Elyse Folks to the world in 2009 and the handsome little devil Phillippe Randolph Folks two years later. And like clockwork, yet another Folks baby is due this December.

What’s up with all this recession-era baby-making?

Mrs. Sic is smokin’ hot … that’s what.

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14 comments

Frank Pytel September 6, 2013 at 12:18 pm

There it is. Keep up the good work Mrs. Folks. :)

Reply
shifty henry September 6, 2013 at 6:21 pm

After remaining with his wife during labor and delivery, the proud new father, wanting to be as sympathetic as possible, took his wife’s hand and said emotionally, “Tell me how it was, darling, how it actually felt to give birth.”

“OK, honey, smile as hard as you can.”

Beaming down at his wife and newborn child, the father said, “That’s not so hard.”

She continued, “Now stick a finger in each corner of your mouth.”

He obeyed, with a broad smile.

She went on, “Now stretch your lips as far as they’ll go.”

“Still not too tough,” he mumbles.

“Right,” she snapped. “Now pull them over your head!”

Reply
Norma Scok September 6, 2013 at 9:16 pm

Having kids must not be that painful. Ever been kicked in the nuts? Ever want to have it done again?

Reply
shifty henry September 6, 2013 at 11:16 pm

1.probably not/ 2.- yes/ 3.- no

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Mr. Freaky September 8, 2013 at 12:34 pm

My answers for #1 & 2 are the same as shifty, but #3 is a “yes” for me.

*places gimp ball back in mouth*

shifty henry September 6, 2013 at 6:28 pm

There’s a new “morning after” pill just for men. It works by changing your blood type.

Reply
Centrist View September 6, 2013 at 12:53 pm

Coincidentally……

Birth rate for teenagers reach new low in U.S.
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-204_162-57601705/birth-rate-for-teenagers-reach-new-low-in-u.s/

(Excerpt)
Birth rates for teenage mothers hit another historic low last year in
the United States, government researchers announced on Friday.

The number of babies born to teenagers was about 305,000, less than half
the peak of nearly 645,000 in 1970, according to the new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

The teen birth rate has been falling since 1991, and has been cut in half since then.

Bill Albert of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy called the drop a “stunning turnaround.”

Experts attribute the decline to a range of factors, including less sex and more use of contraception.

Reply
major major September 6, 2013 at 1:17 pm

Declining birth rate + declining labor participation rate + aging population + expanded entitlements = an unsustainable demographic/economic conditions.

Something that can’t go on forever, won’t.

Reply
Arlen Cooper September 6, 2013 at 5:36 pm

Will Folks? Is that the same Jackass who said he had sex with Niki Haley back in the day?

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Norma Scok September 6, 2013 at 9:15 pm

I wonder what the baby mama thinks of the incessant non-stories of his supposed ex squeeze?

Maybe she knows he’s full of shit, too.

Reply
9" September 7, 2013 at 1:27 am Reply
The Colonel September 7, 2013 at 8:12 am

Yeah Will, she’s smoking hot but who’s that ugly goomer with her?

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shifty henry September 7, 2013 at 8:30 am

Steaming hot. — and she is a gal with class,– and excellent choices in foot wear, but we’ll never see any more photos of those…..

Congrats on your new “production” —– best wishes!

—and the answer to the burning question, “Does SicWillie kiss with his eyes open or closed?”

Reply
junior justice September 7, 2013 at 1:14 pm

Mrs. Folks — is a SHINING STAR!

Reply

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