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Follow-Up File: From The Grill

We don’t often get to report good news, but then again we live in South Carolina: So it’s sort of our fault. Anyway, we do have a bit of positive press to dole out today in reference to last week’s story about a gas grill that went missing from behind a locked…

We don’t often get to report good news, but then again we live in South Carolina: So it’s sort of our fault.

Anyway, we do have a bit of positive press to dole out today in reference to last week’s story about a gas grill that went missing from behind a locked gate at Benedict College’s football stadium (shortly after it had been loaned to the son of the school’s athletics director).

According to the owner of the missing $3,200 grill, it magically reappeared shortly after FITS published our report on its theft (and Benedict College’s stonewalling in relation to the incident).

“The gentleman entrusted with the grill miraculously found it a block away from where it was taken in a crowded park,” grill owner James Crawford of Columbia, S.C. told FITS.

“Thank you,” Crawford told our founding editor, “it was your article that was a catalyst to put the heat on them.”

Sic Willie’s response?

“I’ll take my Porterhouse medium rare,” he told Crawford. “And don’t skimp on the marinade.”

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5 comments

Fred September 30, 2013 at 2:30 pm

Although this story is extremely stupid and a waste of my time, I THANK YOU for publishing an article that does NOT contain Nancy Mace!!!

On that hand, great read!…

Reply
Drop dead Fred dumb dumb head September 30, 2013 at 9:15 pm

“I’m using my time to tell you that you are wasting my time, because I have too much time on my hands and my time is very valuable.”

“Nurse! Bring me my meds!”

Reply
Same ol' Same ol' September 30, 2013 at 3:41 pm

It is a sad state of affairs that if the incident had not been placed in the public domain, the owner would likely have been shit out of his grill. They just need to shut the place down.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein September 30, 2013 at 4:26 pm

Git-r-done, FITS!

Reply
shifty henry September 30, 2013 at 5:08 pm

The culprit was probably ratted out by a Fitsnews reader – good job! Now we have Sic Willie, alias Jack Russell Crimefighter, and his posse. Now if they could only do the job on the politicians!

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