SC

Nikki Haley Got Drunk, Fell Down

An intoxicated S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley tripped and fell down several steps mere hours after her husband left for a year-long deployment to Afghanistan, multiple sources have confirmed to FITS. No word yet whether the governor was wearing her trademark boots when the fall took place – but we’re working on…

An intoxicated S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley tripped and fell down several steps mere hours after her husband left for a year-long deployment to Afghanistan, multiple sources have confirmed to FITS.

No word yet whether the governor was wearing her trademark boots when the fall took place – but we’re working on that intel (our guess is those things don’t provide much in the way of purchase).

Anyway, accounts differ as to the severity of Haley’s adventure with gravity – one source says the governor “flat out busted  her ass,” while another says she merely “slipped two steps” and landed on her ample backside. What is clear is Haley and her entourage were in the midst of a rollicking good time.

“They were partying hard,” one source tells us.

Team Haley, in the words of Tupac, “knows how to party.” In fact lawmakers had to amend the state’s security budget after her inner circle was busted using bodyguards as waiters. The governor also got positively sloshed at last year’s PGA golf tournament.

That’s surprising considering Haley had a “three drink rule” during her tenure as a state lawmaker (vodka tonics, naturally).

Haley was all tears when her husband boarded the plane for his military service.

According to the Associated Press …

The governor stepped away, dabbing her nose with a handkerchief as she appeared to be fighting back tears, after giving her husband multiple kisses.

Michael Haley – a “diversity officer” with the S.C. National Guard – deployed to Afghanistan in January on an agricultural mission (that’s right, he’s helping Afghan farmers plant crops). Since his deployment, Haley has peppered her Facebook page with pictures of him in uniform.

So … why didn’t Haley’s slip and fall make the news?

“Apparently it got kept pretty quiet,” one source explains.

Given the supplicant nature of South Carolina’s mainstream media we’re sure “keeping it quiet” wasn’t difficult. After all, God forbid we question the reign of Queen Nimrata and her hero hubby.

***

 

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72 comments

Crooner April 11, 2013 at 5:22 pm

Lord knows the Crooner has never gotten drunk and fallen down. At least not that he remembers.

Reply
Little Enos Burdette April 11, 2013 at 6:49 pm

There’s the problem because sometimes it’s better that you don’t remember or that you don’t want to remember. At least until those pictures start getting passed around, or you wonder the next morning where did those strange things come from that you found in your pockets.

Reply
Crooner April 11, 2013 at 5:22 pm

Lord knows the Crooner has never gotten drunk and fallen down. At least not that he remembers.

Reply
Little Enos Burdette April 11, 2013 at 6:49 pm

There’s the problem because sometimes it’s better that you don’t remember or that you don’t want to remember. At least until those pictures start getting passed around, or you wonder the next morning where did those strange things come from that you found in your pockets.

Reply
lowcorider April 11, 2013 at 5:24 pm

Bender and Bender. Then call her a lawyer.

Reply
Lowcorider April 11, 2013 at 5:24 pm

Bender and Bender. Then call her a lawyer.

Reply
Maggie Mae April 11, 2013 at 5:39 pm

Nikki Haley is known to hit the bottle quite a few times. She was probably celebrating that hubby was gone so she wouldn’t get caught screwing around.
Nikki Haley got her husband Guard job-they knew the possibility of overseas trip when he took job. Could she have stopped him from going overseas-absolutely! Why didn’t
she–looks good for campaign and gets her votes. #whiner

Reply
Boz Martin April 12, 2013 at 9:55 pm

Hi Maggie. How’ve you been?

Reply
Maggie Mae April 13, 2013 at 8:09 am

Hey Boz – I miss seeing your post – you have been awfully quiet lately. I have seen some other post with a familiar name that could be somebody we know????

Reply
Maggie Mae April 11, 2013 at 5:39 pm

Nikki Haley is known to hit the bottle quite a few times. She was probably celebrating that hubby was gone so she wouldn’t get caught screwing around.
Nikki Haley got her husband Guard job-they knew the possibility of overseas trip when he took job. Could she have stopped him from going overseas-absolutely! Why didn’t
she–looks good for campaign and gets her votes. #whiner

Reply
Boz Martin April 12, 2013 at 9:55 pm

Hi Maggie. How’ve you been?

Reply
Maggie Mae April 13, 2013 at 8:09 am

Hey Boz – I miss seeing your post – you have been awfully quiet lately. I have seen some other post with a familiar name that could be somebody we know????

Reply
Mae West April 11, 2013 at 6:19 pm

She is as fake as a set of plastic tits!
Did she slip and fall, or was she trying to get to croch height on one of her revelers, after hubby deployed?

Reply
Little Enos Burdette April 11, 2013 at 6:44 pm

Do you mean cock-croch height? Be careful what you say about short people.

Reply
Mae West April 11, 2013 at 6:19 pm

She is as fake as a set of plastic tits!
Did she slip and fall, or was she trying to get to croch height on one of her revelers, after hubby deployed?

Reply
Little Enos Burdette April 11, 2013 at 6:44 pm

Do you mean cock-croch height? Be careful what you say about short people.

Reply
Grumble April 11, 2013 at 6:32 pm

Blah, blah, blah. Ok, she fell down while she was drunk. Did she get laid that night? By Bright, Flight, Might, Fits, Mits, Apple-dick-head or other boyfriends?

Reply
FONZ April 11, 2013 at 10:39 pm

Probably, all of the forementioned!

Reply
Grumble April 11, 2013 at 6:32 pm

Blah, blah, blah. Ok, she fell down while she was drunk. Did she get laid that night? By Bright, Flight, Might, Fits, Mits, Apple-dick-head or other boyfriends?

Reply
FONZ April 11, 2013 at 10:39 pm

Probably, all of the forementioned!

Reply
bobbi jo pepperdine April 11, 2013 at 6:39 pm

My goodness! Where were her children? Did she shove them off on her parents? Were they feasting on oreos and milk while tears ran down their cheeks and with runny noses while Mom was sucking down vodkas (at least) and getting her butt spanked on the steps? Their daddy had just left and well, that was so shameful and it makes me so mad I can’t spit! Huh !!!

Reply
bobbi jo pepperdine April 11, 2013 at 6:39 pm

My goodness! Where were her children? Did she shove them off on her parents? Were they feasting on oreos and milk while tears ran down their cheeks and with runny noses while Mom was sucking down vodkas (at least) and getting her butt spanked on the steps? Their daddy had just left and well, that was so shameful and it makes me so mad I can’t spit! Huh !!!

Reply
Dotan April 11, 2013 at 6:59 pm

Does your intel report back what she & Pearson are up to (physically)?

Reply
Maggie Mae April 13, 2013 at 8:10 am

Yeah – Haley’s husband is overseas and Pearson and wife split – could be something there…

Reply
Dotan April 11, 2013 at 6:59 pm

Does your intel report back what she & Pearson are up to (physically)?

Reply
Maggie Mae April 13, 2013 at 8:10 am

Yeah – Haley’s husband is overseas and Pearson and wife split – could be something there…

Reply
Coal Miner April 11, 2013 at 7:14 pm

You are a bunch of sorry-ass wannabee democrats. The Governor is doing a far far better job than Hodges and better than” cutie boy ” Sheheen would be able to do. Lighten up,She is a woman and gentlemen do not belittle women in the real South.

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Will Folks aka Sic April 11, 2013 at 7:24 pm

She is not a woman, and I am not a gentleman. Hence the sweet boom boom we made together. Course she always stuck to the three drink rule w/ me. At least as far as the booze was concerned (insert Dice Clay “Ooooooo!”)

Reply
shifty henry April 11, 2013 at 9:18 pm

Just out of curiosity, Fits, did Nikki NEED those three drinks BEFORE the “boom – boom” happened? ……….just asking (notice the “F” on the chest?)

Reply
Boz Martin April 12, 2013 at 9:48 pm

OK, I gotta ask. You typed “She is not a woman …” Oh no? Pray tell us more.

Reply
capitol fly April 11, 2013 at 10:42 pm

Inhaling that coal dust must really screw with your brain!
Better than Hodges, I’ll give you. Sheheen wil make her look the amateur she is.

Reply
Libtard April 12, 2013 at 12:02 pm

Does your name imply you are from West Virginia? Then go back to fucking your sisters brothers cousin.

Reply
Maggie Mae April 13, 2013 at 8:14 am

Have you been drinking the Nikki Haley kool aid or maybe you are hitting that thing – be careful – you better visit the doctor if you have been hitting that thing.

Reply
Coal Miner April 11, 2013 at 7:14 pm

You are a bunch of sorry-ass wannabee democrats. The Governor is doing a far far better job than Hodges and better than” cutie boy ” Sheheen would be able to do. Lighten up,She is a woman and gentlemen do not belittle women in the real South.

Reply
Will Folks aka Sic April 11, 2013 at 7:24 pm

She is not a woman, and I am not a gentleman. Hence the sweet boom boom we made together. Course she always stuck to the three drink rule w/ me. At least as far as the booze was concerned (insert Dice Clay “Ooooooo!”)

Reply
shifty henry April 11, 2013 at 9:18 pm

Just out of curiosity, Fits, did Nikki NEED those three drinks BEFORE the “boom – boom” happened? ……….just asking (notice the “F” on the chest?)

Reply
Boz Martin April 12, 2013 at 9:48 pm

OK, I gotta ask. You typed “She is not a woman …” Oh no? Pray tell us more.

Reply
capitol fly April 11, 2013 at 10:42 pm

Inhaling that coal dust must really screw with your brain!
Better than Hodges, I’ll give you. Sheheen wil make her look the amateur she is.

Reply
Libtard April 12, 2013 at 12:02 pm

Does your name imply you are from West Virginia? Then go back to fucking your sisters brothers cousin.

Reply
Maggie Mae April 13, 2013 at 8:14 am

Have you been drinking the Nikki Haley kool aid or maybe you are hitting that thing – be careful – you better visit the doctor if you have been hitting that thing.

Reply
dwb619 April 11, 2013 at 10:13 pm

Once knew of a lawyer who would have his female clients wrap diced onions in that little hanky they repeatedly dabbed their eyes with.

Reply
dwb619 April 11, 2013 at 10:13 pm

Once knew of a lawyer who would have his female clients wrap diced onions in that little hanky they repeatedly dabbed their eyes with.

Reply
lowcorider April 11, 2013 at 10:27 pm

She could use those horse teeth as a third point of stability.

Reply
Lowcorider April 11, 2013 at 10:27 pm

She could use those horse teeth as a third point of stability.

Reply
Eugene Hawkins April 11, 2013 at 11:54 pm

Diversity officer? Didn’t know that. Maybe that explains why my letter to the Governor was never responded to. The subject was a National Guard member who is a married bisexual who’s hobby is sex, as was listed on his friendster.com page (requesting dates for men, women, “activity partners”). I wonder what the odds are that these techies know one another?

Reply
Bubbas Brother April 12, 2013 at 9:22 am

National Guard, Reserve or Active Duty officers are welcome to sleep with anyone they want to of either gender as long as a blatant, verifiable case of adultery or a superior/subordinate relationship is not involved. There is no law against “open marriage” activities, the adultery charge requires: “That, under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces or was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces.” Further, the convening authority would have to find that: “The impact, if any, of the adulterous relationship on the ability of the accused, the co-actor, or the spouse of either to perform their duties in support of the armed forces;…” was detrimental or that “…The misuse, if any, of government time and resources to facilitate the commission of the conduct… was involved.

Reply
Eugene Hawkins April 12, 2013 at 12:20 pm

Well, if there are no laws against orgies in one’s marital bed . . . then I should consider it perfectly acceptable. That is, provided it wasn’t on government time.

Reply
ELCID April 12, 2013 at 1:24 pm

Just don’t do it in Virginia. “Virginia Maybe for Lovers,” but blow jobs and Anal Sex, even between married adults is strictly against the Law!! Yep, they have Sodomy Laws still on the books and defended last week on the Vir. House Floor by some wacko representative.

Reply
Sam April 12, 2013 at 11:16 am

Is Michael bisexual? Is Nikki? Is it true she enjoys the dancers at certain gentleman’s clubs?

Reply
Eugene Hawkins April 12, 2013 at 12:12 pm

I can’t answer your questions, because I don’t travel in those circles. I only know of the individual I mentioned because of his conduct exhibited in my presence. He’s from the bastion of progressive ideals, Long Island, N.Y. A true product of his enviroment.

Reply
Dick April 12, 2013 at 10:03 pm

Does she come when she’s intoxicated or just take the in-out sort of unconscious? Most chicks are too far gone to enjoy sex when drunk. Pinto-dick, what can you tell us? Who is fucking her in the mansion these days?

Reply
Eugene Hawkins April 11, 2013 at 11:54 pm

Diversity officer? Didn’t know that. Maybe that explains why my letter to the Governor was never responded to. The subject was a National Guard member who is a married bisexual who’s hobby is sex, as was listed on his friendster.com page (requesting dates for men, women, “activity partners”). I wonder what the odds are that these techies know one another?

Reply
The Colonel (R) April 12, 2013 at 9:22 am

National Guard, Reserve or Active Duty officers are welcome to sleep with anyone they want to of either gender as long as a blatant, verifiable case of adultery or a superior/subordinate relationship is not involved. There is no law against “open marriage” activities, the adultery charge requires: “That, under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces or was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces.” Further, the convening authority would have to find that: “The impact, if any, of the adulterous relationship on the ability of the accused, the co-actor, or the spouse of either to perform their duties in support of the armed forces;…” was detrimental or that “…The misuse, if any, of government time and resources to facilitate the commission of the conduct… was involved.

Reply
Eugene Hawkins April 12, 2013 at 12:20 pm

Well, if there are no laws against orgies in one’s marital bed . . . then I should consider it perfectly acceptable. That is, provided it wasn’t on government time.

Reply
ELCID April 12, 2013 at 1:24 pm

Just don’t do it in Virginia. “Virginia Maybe for Lovers,” but blow jobs and Anal Sex, even between married adults is strictly against the Law!! Yep, they have Sodomy Laws still on the books and defended last week on the Vir. House Floor by some wacko representative.

Reply
Sam April 12, 2013 at 11:16 am

Is Michael bisexual? Is Nikki? Is it true she enjoys the dancers at certain gentleman’s clubs?

Reply
Eugene Hawkins April 12, 2013 at 12:12 pm

I can’t answer your questions, because I don’t travel in those circles. I only know of the individual I mentioned because of his conduct exhibited in my presence. He’s from the bastion of progressive ideals, Long Island, N.Y. A true product of his enviroment.

Reply
Dick April 12, 2013 at 10:03 pm

Does she come when she’s intoxicated or just take the in-out sort of unconscious? Most chicks are too far gone to enjoy sex when drunk. Pinto-dick, what can you tell us? Who is fucking her in the mansion these days?

Reply
danman1213 April 12, 2013 at 12:06 am

It seems that Hubby Haley’s got a posh job on deployment. I sure the afghan will use the agriculture knowledge to better their poppy crop.

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Dan April 12, 2013 at 12:06 am

It seems that Hubby Haley’s got a posh job on deployment. I sure the afghan will use the agriculture knowledge to better their poppy crop.

Reply
Tyrone Tongueflick April 12, 2013 at 11:56 am

My rule of thumb is: if FITS hates it, then I love it. I luv Nikki. She is a real person enjoying life. Give it to me baby.

Reply
Tyrone Tongueflick April 12, 2013 at 11:56 am

My rule of thumb is: if FITS hates it, then I love it. I luv Nikki. She is a real person enjoying life. Give it to me baby.

Reply
Boz Martin April 12, 2013 at 9:54 pm

Geez, I dunno. Nikki gets drunk and busts her ass on some steps just no longer seems worthy of a whole post. Isn’t being a serious alkie kind of a prerequisite to success in SC politics? The answer is YES!, of course. It’s traditional. Given that, how do we know whether she got so drunk because she was celebrating Michael being gone or because she was depressed over it? Or … you know … just because it’s what she does. See what I’m saying here? Now … much as I like you, I gotta ask … WHERE IS THE FUCKING BOOK?????

Reply
Boz Martin April 12, 2013 at 9:54 pm

Geez, I dunno. Nikki gets drunk and busts her ass on some steps just no longer seems worthy of a whole post. Isn’t being a serious alkie kind of a prerequisite to success in SC politics? The answer is YES!, of course. It’s traditional. Given that, how do we know whether she got so drunk because she was celebrating Michael being gone or because she was depressed over it? Or … you know … just because it’s what she does. See what I’m saying here? Now … much as I like you, I gotta ask … WHERE IS THE FUCKING BOOK?????

Reply
Ralph Hightower April 13, 2013 at 3:30 pm

Just wait until the Heritage Golf Tournament next week. She’ll be passed out on the grass after ordering her bartenders, her SLED protection, to bring her “Sex on the Beach” drinks.

Reply
Ralph Hightower April 13, 2013 at 3:30 pm

Just wait until the Heritage Golf Tournament next week. She’ll be passed out on the grass after ordering her bartenders, her SLED protection, to bring her “Sex on the Beach” drinks.

Reply
9" April 14, 2013 at 6:46 am

I thought when Nikki got drunk and fell down,it meant she was ready to pull train…

Reply
9" April 14, 2013 at 6:46 am

I thought when Nikki got drunk and fell down,it meant she was ready to pull train…

Reply
Ralph Hightower April 21, 2013 at 3:56 pm

Was she falling down drunk at the Heritage?

Reply
Ralph Hightower April 21, 2013 at 3:56 pm

Was she falling down drunk at the Heritage?

Reply
BushCheney2012 May 1, 2013 at 11:40 am

This was all Jenny’s Sanford’s fault, she let herself “go” and forced

Mark to outsource their martial relations to Argentina. Now Jenny is one

of the “takers” that Mitt warned us about with her excessive alimony

and so called “child support” demands! Typical lazy and unmotivated US

worker that Mark so often talks about! Besides, Nikki supports Mark Sanford – Adulterers are US! or is it “Birds of a feather?”

Mark only used our Tax Dollars because he could get some hot Argentina

poontang, and any red blooded family values guy can understand that, I

understand why his hysterical and emotional opponent does not.

Further, his son put Mark in a bad situation by wanting to leave the

Superbowl party. What was Mark to do – the only place this new

technology called “Television” is available is in downtown Charleston

and Jenny’s house.

Reply
BushCheney2016forMerica May 1, 2013 at 11:40 am

This was all Jenny’s Sanford’s fault, she let herself “go” and forced

Mark to outsource their martial relations to Argentina. Now Jenny is one

of the “takers” that Mitt warned us about with her excessive alimony

and so called “child support” demands! Typical lazy and unmotivated US

worker that Mark so often talks about! Besides, Nikki supports Mark Sanford – Adulterers are US! or is it “Birds of a feather?”

Mark only used our Tax Dollars because he could get some hot Argentina

poontang, and any red blooded family values guy can understand that, I

understand why his hysterical and emotional opponent does not.

Further, his son put Mark in a bad situation by wanting to leave the

Superbowl party. What was Mark to do – the only place this new

technology called “Television” is available is in downtown Charleston

and Jenny’s house.

Reply

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