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We don’t know Roy T. Willey IV, but we picture him as the sort of guy who enjoys playing croquet in seer sucker shorts while referring to various mutual fund developments as “continental.” The kind of guy who’s going to vote for Mitt Romney … but isn’t afraid to crack a few good Mormon jokes.

“Baked Alaska?”

Don’t mind if we do, Roy … don’t mind if we do.

Amazingly, this polo-playing Harvard graduate somehow wound up attending the Charleston School of Law (CSOL), which as we’ve noted on multiple occasions (most recently here) is not necessarily a good thing. In fact it’s almost as bad as winding up at the University of South Carolina’s school of law.

Anyway, Willey recently campaigned for a leadership post at CSOL along with his girlfriends Kelsey Odom and Alexis Wimberly. Did this “society slate” win? No … (although Willey blamed their defeat on dishonest campaign tactics perpetrated by their opponents).

So … what’s a group of aristocrats looking to reclaim its lost exclusivity to do? Aside from elected office, how else are these self-important students going to be able to lord their status over the unwashed masses?

Enter the “Society of the Gavel.”

Take a look …

(Click to enlarge)

What’s the “Society of the Gavel?”

It’s a secret society formed by Willey and his friends … except their goal doesn’t appear to be world domination so much as it is having a place to hobnob without being burdened by the lower castes.

The only problem? Some of the undesirables at the Charleston School of Law caught wind of this group’s little Garden Party at the Palmer Home (a location we highly recommend, if you have the means) and began forwarding details of the event. Eventually, an invitation was sent to the entire student body by an unknown individual.

In an effort to preserve the exclusivity of his “There But For The Grace Of God Go We” club, Willy was forced to send his own email to the CSOL student body advising them that “if you are not on the list of invitees or have not spoken to one of use (sic) personally, the security service must turn you away.”

Ouch, right?

“It was our intention to host a number of events, with different students invited to each, along with our list of practitioners and judges,” Willey informed his classmates. “If you did not receive a legitimate invitation to this particular event, it is a result of our desire to keep each event small and intimate.”

Willey added that “the email containing the fake invitation is in violation of numerous state and federal laws” and that he and his colleagues have “reported it to the appropriate authorities, and an investigation is underway.”

Yeah … we’re sure the Charleston cops and the FBI are going to get right on that, dude.

Meanwhile, a new Facebook page entitled “Joe Gavel” has popped up – and has been busily lampooning Willey and his fellow upper crusters.

We’ve never had much use for secret societies (after all, our founding editor already has his own croquet club). We don’t have a problem with them, obviously, they just strike us as ridiculous (not to mention indicative of an itching inferiority complex on the part of their members). Also, based on CSOL’s woeful 40 percent passage rate on the most recent South Carolina bar exam, we would advise students at the school to steer clear of such associations and focus on their studies.