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papa john

Christmas has come early for our founding editor, who has been waiting for months (literally) to ridicule whatever crappy postseason bowl game the University of South Carolina football team winds up being invited to this year.

Poulan Weedeater Independence Bowl, anyone?

Nope.  With its 7-5 record, even a bowl named after a gardening implement was a “Bridge Too Far” for USC’s Steve Spurrier and his chronically-underachieving football team.

We speculated on South Carolina’s bowl outlook a few days ago, but based on where the “chips have fallen” the Bowl (yes, you read that right, the bowl) in Birmingham, Alabama has become the Gamecocks’ postseason destination.

In case you were wondering, that’s the lowest-rated of all bowls with an SEC tie-in – which means it’s the game that takes whatever bowl-eligible SEC team the better bowls didn’t want.

Speaking of better teams, LSU is headed to the Capital One Bowl (in Orlando), Ole Miss is headed to the Cotton Bowl (in Dallas), Tennessee is headed to the Chick-fil-A bowl in Atlanta (where USC originally hoped to play), Auburn is headed to the Outback Bowl in Tampa (where USC played a year ago), Kentucky is headed (back) to Nashville to play in the Music City Bowl, Georgia is headed to the Independence Bowl (in Shreveport) and Arkansas is headed to the Liberty Bowl (in Memphis).

Obviously, SEC East Champion Florida and SEC West Champion Alabama are playing in BCS bowls.

“If it’s a Birmingham bowl, we’ll be fired up to come to it,” said Spurrier. “We’re not doing a lot of campaigning like other schools. We’ll go where they tell us to go.”

Yeah …

USC will likely play the winner of the Connecticut-South Florida game.

UPDATE: In fairness, the “Advocare 100 Independence Bowl” hasn’t been named for Poulan in more than thirteen years. But it’s still worse than the Bowl.