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boeing phallus

You’ll have to forgive Katy Stech at the Charleston Post and Courier … those new Boeing Dreamliner airplanes (which have yet to fly, btw) sure do look phallic.

Plus, it’s hard to find anybody, anywhere in South Carolina right now who’s not either fellating or tossing Boeing’s salad with everything they’ve got.

Well … except for the S.C. Policy Council, of course, which has bashed Boeing’s incentive package as a “bailout” and in the process (to borrow a term used by one of our favorite “movement” fiscal conservatives)  “stepped on a big ole’ pile of sh*t and tracked it all over the house.”

In fairness, we’re not exactly donning the knee pads yet either, in large part because we’ve got lots of smaller fish to stand up for – plus we know that the Palmetto State landing one major economic development announcement every decade isn’t exactly a record to be proud of.

Hence today’s announcement that South Carolina’s unemployment rate has topped 12%, again …

Anyway, from Stech’s most recent article, entitled “Boeing: the Future” (be sure to have paper towels available when you’re finished) …

Boeing Co.’s transformational influence on the Lowcountry will start with a mound of dirt today but have an immeasurable impact on generations to come.

The sheer scope of the aviation giant’s future $750 million plant, the largest private investment ever announced in the Charleston area, could change the economic and cultural fabric of the region.

Boeing’s plant will stand as the region’s largest building, a steel-sided fortress on the Charleston airport’s campus. With the footprint of 12 football fields, it could be seen through trees along Interstate 526.

Drivers will be able to peer into the fenced-in facility over neat landscaping and guarded entrances. The entire area around the plant will be redesigned for traffic flow with fresh turn lanes that will guide traffic into a black asphalt sea of parking lots.

Boeing’s influence likely will reach beyond the plant itself. Planes with foreign logos will be lined up on the airport’s tarmac. Students in schools will study the aerospace industry within direct sight of their future profession. Aviation suppliers will hum with orders to support Boeing’s operation. International workers and visitors will bring a cosmopolitan flair and flock to cafes and restaurants that will spring up to serve the plant.

Again, we read this story three of four times and frankly couldn’t find a line in it that the Boeing PR office wouldn’t have rubber-stamped … or written themselves.

Like the reference to how foreign visitors “could make their way down to King Street, filling the air with casual banter in various languages,” or the line towards the end that talks about about how “a company as big as Boeing could make residents who aren’t even directly connected to the facility feel linked into its pulse.”

Seriously, is this the friggin’ company newsletter we’re reading?

Then there was the whole entree into local government spin, in which Stech notes that Boeing “could be the nexus of a movement to revitalize blighted areas and build interconnected neighborhoods in which homes are mixed with shops, and transportation such as light railways.”


Light rail?


Don’t get us wrong.  Boeing’s decision is indeed “transformative,” and you know we mean that because we absolutely detest using those ridiculous buzzwords.

We also hope it is every bit as successful as it promises to be, because this state desperately needs another success story like BMW.

But that, again, is our point.

Landing one big bear a decade does not a successful economy make … as today’s unemployment rate once again capably demonstrates.