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We really should have seen it coming … after all, how else would a self-important “redneck aristocrat” whose sole claim to fame is “who his daddy is” approach running for the U.S. Congress – one of many positions for which he is woefully unqualified?

Yeah … “Fragile: Handle With Care.”

Of course, before delving too deeply into the gloriously uncomplicated world of Carroll A. “Tumpy” Campbell (a.k.a. “Tump Tump“) let’s take a look at the bizarre media manifesto that his campaign sent to members of the media earlier this month.

Here it is …

*** Working with the Carroll Campbell campaign ***

And a note on issues regarding Mr. Campbell’s biography below.

Now that the campaign has been officially announced, we would like to provide you information to help you cover the race over the next several months.

1. If you have interview requests or are seeking a comment on an issue, please attempt to reach the campaign with your deadline, work and mobile phone numbers, email address and question at or call Brent Littlefield at 877-441-5795.

2. The campaign has launched our new website at Please visit this site for Mr. Campbell’s full biography and to keep up with the campaign.

3. Multiple news organizations have written that Mr. Campbell is or was a “lobbyist.” This is simply not true. We are attempting to have these corrected as we see them. Opponent staff members have attempted to state or have reporters state that Mr. Campbell is a lobbyist. However, Mr. Campbell has never been a registered lobbyist. Please call the SC State Ethics Commission to confirm through

4. If you have not had an opportunity to do so, please review Mr. Campbell’s announcement speech for the reasons he is running at

5. If you prefer not to be on this list, please click the link at the very bottom of this email. If another member of your organization needs to be included on the list, please submit their email addresss to

6. Advertising inquiries or scheduling requests should be sent to ** Please note that advertising representatives should not call, but submit information to this address for future review.

Obviously the Congressman’s office may seek to send out news releases that attempt to position him on the issues.

The campaign will attempt to make Mr. Campbell available where possible to provide an equal opportunity to respond on these issues, where appropriate. Please feel free to call the campaign as congressional issues arise.

Thank you.

The Carroll Campbell for Congress Campaign

Carroll Campbell is a South Carolina entrepreneur, small businessman and lifelong Republican who has held multiple positions on community volunteer, political and economic development Boards. He is an announced candidate for Congress in South Carolina’s First Congressional District.

Uhh …

Okay …

Where to start …

Hmmm … aside from the presumptuous superfluity and painful awkwardness of this ridiculous document (the “Congressman’s office may seek to send out news releases that attempt to position him on the issues?” really?), let’s go first to the disputed section of the “manifesto,” the one that categorically asserts that Campbell has never been a lobbyist.

Okay.  Technically, Carroll A. Campbell may have never been a lobbyist, but he did own a lobbying firm.  And he did spent an inordinate amount of time over at the S.C. State House advocating on behalf of the clients of his lobbying firm.

So what does that make him?

Here’s a hint … quack, quack, quack.

Campbell is also known for a scandal involving some Injuns who were looking to expand video gambling in the state, as well as his membership in S.C. Attorney General Henry McMaster’s “whites only” country club in Columbia – two items that were conveniently left out of the “entrepreneur, small businessman and lifelong Republican” tag at the end of the “manifesto.”

Don’t get us wrong, “Tump Tump’s” primary opponent – U.S. Rep. Henry Brown – is a RINO gasbag who should have been put out to pasture a long time ago.

But replacing an old RINO with a young one makes about as much sense as sending the media a self-important list of “instructions” for covering your campaign.