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FITSNews – May 28, 2008 – First of all, the whole notion of a “follow-up file” has never appealed to us. “Follow-up files” are what local TV stations do when kittens get stuck in trees, people, and of course the follow-up story is that “Snowball” is doing just fine and recovering nicely after his big adventure! He’s even got his healthy appetite back!

Anyway, we’re in a particularly lazy mood this morning, so here are three follow-ups on stories we covered yesterday:

STONE BANNED IN CHINA – Actress Sharon Stone, whose karma comment has landed her in some hot Chinese water, has now been officially banned from the country. Well, her films have anyway. The fifty-year-old actress implied in an interview yesterday that the recent devastating earthquakes in China were the result of bad karma owing to the nation’s mistreatment of Tibet. In other news, Sharon Stone’s breasts are still sensational – especially for a woman her age.

BUSHIES LASH BACK – In the wake of former White House spokesman Scott McClellan’s devastating kick to the presidential ball sack, Bush’s brain Karl Rove is firing back, telling FOX News that McClellan was “out of the loop” in the Bush White House. Ahh, yes … the old “out of the loop” excuse. That works about as well as saying you caught chicken pox … twice. Next thing you know McClellan will be accused of “empowering al Queda.”

SANDIFER’S BUYING? – State Rep. Bill Sandifer, who received the first FITSNews’ “undorsement” of the 2008 campaign, got quite a shock to his system last night when several of his colleagues played a classic practical joke on him. Sandifer was (surprise) drinking his ass off with a group of lobbyists at a local Columbia, S.C. tavern when his waitress alerted him that “There is a Mr. Folks in the bar who said you would be more than happy to pick up his tab for the night, and I needed to check with you before I did that.” Apparently, Sandifer turned redder than State Rep. Nelson Hardwick’s cheeks after a bottle of Merlot. Of course, if Sandifer’s colleagues had really wanted to get a rise out of him, they would have said “there’s a table of African-American gentlemen …”