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FITSNews – March 29, 2008 – It could be we’re just frustrated ’cause our annual fantasy baseball draft weekend didn’t include a visit to the strip club this year, but there’s something about Rep. Scott Talley’s new anti-lap dance bill that rubs us the wrong way. Like trying to keep a lot of people from getting rubbed the right way, for starters.

Look, we know Talley is just pandering to right-wing zealots in the conservative Upstate Senate district he’s trying to win, but seriously, check out this ridiculousness:

South Carolina will be among a handful of states to institute a sweeping no-touch law for exotic dancers if a bill introduced this week becomes law. Under the proposal, exotic dancers could dance only on stages and would have to stay six feet from strip club patrons while performing.

That means no lap dances — a profitable type of dance for performers in which a patron is seated and the dancer is in immediate contact …

The bill’s aim, Talley says, is to reduce the “secondary effects” associated with such clubs.

Last time we checked, the only “secondary effect” of a lap dance was getting a boner. Which isn’t illegal, Thank God, or else our founding editor would be serving some serious time.

Our point is this, with so many legitimate problems facing our state, why is government wasting its time trying to ban friggin’ lap dances? Oh, we forgot, Rep. Talley has an election to win. Both in its ridiculousness and political expediency, this bill is vintage S.C. politics …