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battlefield earth


FITSNews – May 1, 2007 – Forget War & Peace, Oliver Twist, The Count of Monte Cristo, Don Quixote, The Great Gatsy or our personal favorite, Fuzzy Wuzzy Wuz A BearMitt Romney would rather read Battlefield Earth by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. The former Massachusetts governor and presidential candidate said so himself on TV the other day, presumably right before being “beamed” back up to the mothership with Tom Cruise.

Adding insipidy (not a real word) to insanity (real word), Romney threw in for good measure that his favorite non-fiction book was the Bible, which makes about as much sense as Jesus saying the Book of Mormon is his favorite book.

Anyway, we can just see the scene on the spaceship now – Romney and Cruise, both dressed in silver flowing robes, are staring into a giant green orb glowing brightly against a background of purple haze. Cruise is holding the orb’s remote in his hand and is critiquing Romney’s TV interview. “The Bible?!?” Cruise shouts. “What were you thinking, Glindarian Four? Your favorite book is Dianetics. Now go … and fetch me a V8.”