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FITSNews – March 25, 2007 – Iran is rising up against the world, people. Not only are they holding 15 British sailors hostage, apparently now they just told the United Nations to go and make love to itself. And not in a good way. Check out this excerpt from tomorrow’s Xinghua news story:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was quoted by state television as saying that new sanctions “will not halt Iran’s peaceful and legal nuclear program even for a second.” He warned that the Iranian people would not forget “the hostility of those countries” which opposed Tehran’s nuclear program.

Boy. Somebody’s feeling a little froggy. You know the last time United Nations directed its sanctions against FITSNews as a result of our controversial uranium enrichment program, our first reaction was also to bow up. But then we realized the stability of our region was more important than our selfish ambition of becoming a nuclear power. Except replace sanctions with “spanking” and controversial uranium enrichment program with “eating all the Oreo cookies.”