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Tina Turner

MONKEYS MIGHT ALSO FLY OUT OF AL GORE’S BUTT

FITSNews – January 29, 2007 – South Carolina, which can’t create a job or educate a child to save its life (let alone tie its own shoelaces), is now apparently going to tackle the problem of global warming.

In other news, the ant crawling on the sidewalk outside our office just jumped up and beat the crap out of a Bengal Tiger. Or in the words of Marcia “Truth Hurts” Purday , “This is a federal and global issue, and one that South Carolina cannot resolve by itself,” she said.

Or as Tina Turner (a.k.a. “Aunt Entity“) and an amry of futuristic, singing children dressed in rags and tatters with grime on their faces told the governor this morning, “We don’t need another hero. We don’t need to know the way home. All we want is life beyond the Thunderdome.”