“The South Will Rise Again …”
That’s every redneck’s favorite rallying cry, but in reality the American South – which is disproportionately poor, dumb, fat, lazy and inbred – won’t be “rising” again anytime soon.
Don’t believe us? Take a look at its expanding waistlines, shrinking income levels and plummeting standardized test scores – particularly in South [...]
Secession Time
Mississippi’s Crony Capitalism Under Microscope
Like South Carolina, Mississippi is populated disproportionately with dumb as dirt, overweight, flat broke mouth breathing government dependents too stupid to realize how colossally their “Republican” government is giving them the shaft. Specifically, these dim bulbs believe unswervingly that “economic development” occurs when politicians tell them new jobs have been “created” – never suspecting that [...]
SC Celebrates “Happy White People Day”
In case you missed it, South Carolina state government was closed on May 10 for Confederate Memorial Day. That’s right … while the rest of us busted our asses trying to make ends meet in this economic “recovery,” hundreds of thousands of underworked, overpaid bureaucrats got another day off.
Confederate Memorial Day was established in 2000. Along [...]
Columbia, SC Main Street Bomb Scare
Columbia, S.C. police shut down the city’s historic Main Street on Friday after discovering a “suspicious package.”
“They’ve closed down Main Street and they aren’t letting people walk down the street,” a source overlooking the scene told FITS. “Don’t know what exactly is going on. Police tape is going up near the NBSC building. Police are [...]
Left To Die
Nearly two months ago, a woman spotted several malnourished horses in a field near her home in Orangeburg County, S.C. After witnessing the poor condition of the animals on more than one occasion, she went to the people responsible for handling these sorts of things and provided them with the information.
“I reported several weeks ago [...]
Great Gun Migration?
The American economy is still struggling to establish consistent forward momentum in 2013, but one segment that’s experiencing “rapid fire” growth is the gun industry.
Sales are through the roof and there seems to be no slowing demand … meaning gun manufacturers are likely to be a solid employment bet for the foreseeable future. Also given the [...]
SC: Hatin’ On Beer
This website’s founding editor gave up the bottle several years ago … meaning the only “beer” he consumes these days is of the non-alcoholic variety.
But just because we no longer partake of the liquid goodness doesn’t mean we support undue restrictions on those who do. We believe any citizen over the age of eighteen should [...]
Rand Paul To Endorse Mark Sanford
Like father, like son …
Days after his father Ron Paul endorsed embattled former S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford in the Palmetto State’s hotly contested first congressional district, U.S. Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) is following suit.
According to Peter Hamby of CNN, the younger Paul will endorse Sanford as early as this Tuesday – one week before the [...]
South Carolina: Something’s In The Water!
In discussing the spate of sex-related political scandals in South Carolina, we’re often asked by national reporters if there is “something in the water” in the Palmetto State.
Other than excessive levels of fluoride, obviously …
Apparently there is.
Consider the case of 27-year-old Amanda Cantwell of Charleston County, S.C. – who was arrested on criminal domestic violence [...]
South Carolina Needs One Of These …
Worried about potential inbreeding? There’s an app for that …
No really. We’re not exactly sure how the technology works, but the University of Iceland has developed a smartphone app which alerts users to potentially incestuous relationships via an alarm whenever they “bump” their mobile devices.
So bump cells before you bump uglies … or you might [...]
Commerce Sources Downplay Infiniti Speculation
Sources at the S.C. Department of Commerce have confirmed to FITS that the Palmetto State is likely to compete for a North American Infiniti plant, although they downplayed recent mainstream media reports portraying the state as a frontrunner.
“We will be in the mix (for Infiniti) but as you know with deals like this there is [...]
SC In Running For Infiniti Plant
South Carolina is in the running for an Infinit plant, according to a report from The Greenville News.
“Nissan Motor Co. said it is considering a new manufacturing location in North America, and economists said South Carolina should be in the running for the new plant that reportedly will produce at least 100,000 of its premium [...]
