It’s been an autumn of enlightenment here at FITS. First we figured out who Taylor Swift was (thank you, Kayne West), then we discovered Gossip Girl (courtesy of the Palmetto Family Council’s righteous indignation).  That led us to Blake Lively and, today, Leighton Meester.

An actress and aspiring musician, Meester appears in the latest issue of GQ (pics below), but it’s an interview she gave to British Glamour (with a “u”) that has our engines purring.

“My problem is, I lose interest. Every time I’ve fallen in love, it’s just momentary,” Meester recently told the magazine.

“Honestly, I’ve hated every boyfriend I’ve had,” Meester continued. “I don’t want to have a boyfriend unless I want to be with him forever. If I don’t see an end, that’s nice. Because I always see an end.”

Um, “Boy-oye-oye-oye-oye-oye-oye-oye-yoing!”

Wowzers.

We’ll have to consult our resident man-visor Steve V., but we’re pretty sure Meester just qualified for man points.

Pics: GQ

As much as we lust after the mind and body of Liz Lemon, we cannot in good conscience tune into 30 Rock this week – or any of the shows included in NBC’s Thursday night lineup.

Why not?

Because we prefer to take our mindless entertainment without an accompanying environmental lecture.

Nonetheless, on the obvious, odious orders of General Electric corporate (NBC’s parent company), all of these Thursday night programs are “going green” this week, which is another way of saying that they they will be injecting subtle political messages (as well as a not-so-subtle Al Gore appearance on 30 Rock) into their content.

That’s too bad.  Because we love 30 Rock.  It helps us unleash our inner Larry Bravermans.

In fact, after spending the better part of our lives contempt for network television, Thursday nights have become “NBC night” here at FITS, sort of like Monday nights are a “CBS” night.  We also watch “Glee” on FOX on Wednesday evenings, although we’re not comfortable calling that a “night” just yet (no matter how irresistible the cute, little gay guy is).

Still, though, we’re not going to be a party to this PC, agenda-driven crap.  If NBC wants to send us environmental messages, then it should permit Barack Obama to purchase time for a two hour infomerical on “Cap & Tax.”  That would at least be honest.

This is just sneaky.  And insulting.

And so lamentably – as much as we’ll miss Lemon (a.k.a. Tina Fey)’s oh-so-sexy frumpiness (and the snappy dialogue she writes) – we are going to decline having this particular Lindsey Graham cracker shoved down our throats.

We’re sure this is some sort of sort of anomaly, but Hollywood A-list heartthrob Johnny Depp has edged out our founding editor as the sexiest man alive according to People magazine.

Actually, Depp and dozens of other celebrities (and perhaps as many as 1.8 billion other men) “edged out” Sic Willie, but who’s counting?

This is the second time Depp has won the award (he also earned the honor in 2003), making him only the third man ever to win it twice (Brad Pitt and George Clooney are the others, in case you were interested).

Depp, 46, “still reigns as Hollywood’s most irresistible iconoclast; as one-of-a-kind as his beloved 15-year-old boots and as smoldering as his favorite Cuban cigars,” People notes.

Click here to see all of the official “Sexiest Man Alive 2009″ hoopla …

Click the thumbnails below for more of Depp (you’re welcome, ladies) …

Until the show Gossip Girl appeared on our radar last week, we had never heard of actress Blake Lively.  Now, the 22-year-old is on our radar for all the wrong – or depending on your eligibility for social security – all the right reasons.

Lively is starring in a movie called “The Private Lives of Pippa Lee” in which she (ewwww alert) shacks up with 75-year-old actor Alan Arkin.

Ewwwww! (can’t say we didn’t warn you) …

From an LA Times blog called The Dishrag:

“It’s not lust that attracts her to him. It’s that she doesn’t have a parent. It’s him fulfilling that hole of a parent. He’s the first person that guides her, and that provides her security and comfort, so that’s what their relationship was about. So, we weren’t busy trying to fabricate sexual chemistry.”

OK, and the naked bed scene?

She admits that anytime one is in strategically placed clothes taped on your body, in front of some strangers, there’s a discomfort factor.

“But, I was with Alan and Rebecca, and our wonderful D.P., and it was a very private set. We’re all actors, we’re all professionals and we all understood what was happening. Everybody is uncomfortable with those scenes. You’re never going to be comfortable being half-naked in front of anyone. But, it was fine. It was a short scene. For me, it’s more uncomfortable to watch it. It’s like, “Oh, no, all these people are seeing me like this!”

A “short scene?”

Anyway, unlike Blake, we are completely comfortable being in front of strangers with strategically-placed clothes taped on our bodies.

It would be the naked 75-year-old laying next to us that we’d be uncomfortable with …

Pics: Getty, Splash News, WENN

Like the rest of the country, we were snowed into thinking that former Miss California Carrie Prejean was a good, God-fearing girl who was unjustly punished for her defense of family values.

We don’t have any family values, mind you, but we’ve always supported the right of people who do to stand up for them.

Which is what Prejean did.

Today? She’s the latest in a long line of moral hypocrites with a B-list “reality” TV career ahead of her.

After calling a solo sex tape “the biggest mistake of (her) life,” it turns out Prejean made the same mistake, um, seven additional times.

Now don’t get us wrong, that’s seven times the fun as far as we’re concerned, but it’s also seven times the headache for Prejean, who as far as we can tell is every bit as fake as the new rack that the Miss California pageant bought for her.

Prejean also didn’t help herself by going on Larry King Live last week and basically throwing a spoiled white girl tantrum.

Anyway, Vivid Video – which we are told (cough, cough) is one of the nation’s top porn producers – has acquired at least one of Prejean’s videos and is currently negotiating its release.

So yeah … there’s that.

She may not win Busted Coverage’s “Hottest Female College Athlete of the Decade,” but former Cincinnati tennis star Alizee Paradis has definitely got Sic Willie’s vote.

Not only does the Quebec City native have the whole “eff off” thing going for her (just look at those eyes, people), but she’s obviously got some experience on the pole (see pics four and five below) … which as it turns out is going to be a recurring theme today.

Anyway, Paradis was also no joke on the court, playing as the Bearcats’ No. 1 seed and serving as the team’s captain (oh captain, our captain, rrrrrawwwrrr).

Check out Busted Coverage for a great article on Alizee, and don’t forget to cast your vote for her when they run their “Hottest Athlete” poll!

Unless, of course, you are voting for Allison Stokke.

WEB EXTRA

Alizee Paradis’ Facebook Page
Alizee Paradis’ Twitter Page

(click on each thumbnail for a larger image …)

Pics: Busted Coverage

The much-ballyhooed “Gossip Girl threesome” finally took place Monday night, and to our founding editor’s surprise (and relief) the “ratio was correct.”

Accordingly, we are hereby reversing our original objection to this “controversial” program – which was based on the widely-held belief that the show’s menage a trois was going to feature (gasp) two dudes, and thus find itself in violation of his “one penis per scene/ fantasy/ room” rule.

Since we’ve never watched Gossip Girl, we have no idea who any of the characters in the threesome were, except that two of them are girls one of them is Hilary Duff.   Also, the CW network didn’t show anything but kissing and a remarkably unrealistic post-coital shot of the three lovers laying neatly, in parallel lines next to each other in bed – a shot obviously directed by someone who’s never been in a threesome.

That … as they say … was it.

“It was built up too much,” the folks at Gossip Girl Insider wrote.  “If the show hadn’t mentioned the scene at all, perhaps it would have been shocking and exciting. Instead, it felt lame and forced.”

Anyway, the clip of the nontroversial threesome is on YouTube in case you’re interested.

AEROSMITH UPDATE

Remember that sad, dark day when you found out that legendary rock band Aerosmith was no more?  We remember it like it was yesterday.

Wait … it was yesterday.  Well guess what, rock-n-roll fans … Aerosmith is “more” again.

From People:

Tyler and Perry made a surprise appearance onstage at the Fillmore in New York Tuesday night and announced that Tyler was back in the saddle. “I just want New York to know I’m not leaving Aerosmith,” Tyler, 61, told the cheering crowd. The band then gave an rousing performance of “Walk this Way.”

Awwww …

Of our founding editor’s many Hollywood crushes, the one his wife understands the least is his ongoing obsession with nymph-hottie Christina Ricci.

“I still don’t get it,” Mrs. Sic announced upon catching her husband, Sic Willie, freeze-framing Ricci’s scintillating performance from the 2006 cult film Black Snake Moan, which is something he gets busted doing at least twice a week.

And who can blame him, people?  Rrrawwr (NSFW)!!!

Anyway, Ricci – who has always had a bangin’ body – is now kicking some bangin’ bangs, as evidenced by some recent pictures of her leaving a residence that bears a striking resemblance to one of our founding editor’s many, um, “rental properties.”

Ruh-roh, Sic …

Also, check out the height on the kicks, ladies. 5.5 inches?  More like six from where we sit!  Now that is what we are talking about!

(click on thumbnails for larger images …)

Pics: The Beer Goggler

We saw Aerosmith five years ago at whatever the hell it is they call the new University of South Carolina men’s basketball arena.  It was honestly a helluva rock-n-roll show (although the acoustics of the place are awful), and we remember being particularly impressed by lead singer Steven Tyler’s ability to nail the high notes in “Dream On.”

Of course, we also remember being impressed by a memorable display of girl-on-girl grinding that took place in our luxury box during “Sweet Emotion” … one featuring two shorter models who were “built for comfort” and a tall, red-haired drink of water who was obviously “built for speed.”

Seriously, people … the two short girls pretty much used the tall one like a stripper pole.  Which was … yeah …

Anyway, all of this by way of saying that Aerosmith – which has earned its place in the pantheon of rock Gods with dozens of 150 million records sold over the past three-and-a-half decades – is no more.  According to guitarist Joe Perry, Tyler left the band following a recent concert in Abu Dhabi.

“Steven quit as far as I can tell,” Perry told the Las Vegas Sun last week. “I don’t know for how long, indefinitely or whatever …”

Wikipedia is already referring to the band in the past tense, though, which can’t be good.

From Rolling Stone …

For years, Perry and Tyler — who co-wrote most of Aerosmith’s hits — have been unable to agree on a direction for the band’s music. As a result, it’s been nearly a decade since the group released an album of new material, despite repeated stints in the studio. “[We] haven’t written a song together alone in the same room in over ten years, so there’s been some changes in paradigm of what Aerosmith is,” Perry said to the AP in September. Tyler wants more slick, pop-rock hits like 2000’s “Jaded,” while Perry is still fighting for the harder, bluesy sound of their Seventies records.

Aerosmith’s final U.S. tour was a disaster – with 27 of the 42 shows canceled, most of those due to injuries sustained by Tyler during a fall from a catwalk in Sturgis, South Dakota.

The tour was also dogged by lackluster ticket sales.

By contrast, Aerosmith’s 2006 and 2007 tours were both hugely successful – a testament to the sustained success the band had been enjoying since the release of 1989’s Pump, which marked the beginning of one of the greatest comebacks in rock-n-roll history.

Aerosmith’s last studio album was 2001’s Just Push Play.

They don’t call it the “Corridor of Shame” for nothing … and all the taxpayer money in the world hasn’t done a damn thing to change it.

Despite dozens of new programs and billions of dollars in funding increases over the last decade, South Carolina’s rural school districts are continuing to fail students at a record clip – the latest atrocious indicator in what is shaping up to be one of the worst years on record for public schools in the Palmetto State.

Indeed, South Carolina has the highest rural dropout rate in the entire nation according to a new report from a national non-profit organization that’s focused on raising academic achievement in rural areas.

The report, entitled “Why Rural Matters,” was published last week by the Rural School and Community Trust.  Predictably, not a single mainstream media outlet in South Carolina picked up on the report’s findings – which is almost as pathetic as the academic results the report uncovered.

“Just over half of the state’s rural students graduate from high school, a lower rate than all other states,” the report concludes. “NAEP and NCLB scores are equally alarming, near the bottom on all four indicators.”

The report also found that “spending on instruction in rural districts is very low,” reinforcing previous data showing that less than half of every dollar spent on “education” in South Carolina actually makes it into the classroom

The results mark the latest in a string of setbacks for South Carolina’s education establishment this year.

Last month, educrats were busted trying to dumb down South Carolina’s academic standards – which it’s obvious at this point would have to be considered quite a feat.

Next up, South Carolina’s so-called “budget cuts” – which had been blamed by Superintendent Jim Rex and others for poor academic performance – were revealed to be utter and complete fiction based on data published by the S.C. Office of Research and Statistics.

Those numbers showed that in the midst of the worst economic year since the Great Depression, South Carolina public schools spent more than $12,000 per pupil – a record amount.

Finally, prior to the rural graduation data being released, a report published two weeks ago showed that South Carolina’s overall graduation rate remains among the worst in the nation – which is consistent with our state’s declining SAT and ACT scores.

WEB EXTRA

“Why Rural Matters 2009″ Report – South Carolina fact sheet