There’s no college football game being played at Williams-Brice Stadium in Columbia, S.C. this weekend.  And even if there was, it would no doubt result in yet another University of South Carolina loss.

So why not use USC’s bye week to check out one of the Southeast’s most unsung athletic traditions?  You know, one of the few Columbia-based athletic teams that the University hasn’t managed to scare off?

We’re talking about rugby, people, a sport that makes American football (at any level) look positively tame by comparison.

Specifically, we’re referring to the Columbia Olde Grey – the Capital City’s oldest athletic club – which is facing off this Saturday in its annual grudge match against the Charleston Outlaws.

“Forget Clemson and Carolina,” one rugby enthusiast tells FITS.  “When it comes to physical sports, there is only one real rivalry in the Palmetto State.”

“The only game that matters is the Columbia game,” Charleston’s flamboyant Welsh Head Coach Chris “Taffy” Greenslade tells FITS. “No self respecting Outlaw gives a damn about getting to the Sweet Sixteen or winning the National Championship. The Old Grey scalp is sacrosanct and Oh boy do they know it!”

The rivalry – which kicks off the 2009-10 conference schedule for both teams – has been dominated in recent years by Charleston, but the upstart Columbia squad pulled off an upset win a year ago (a shutout, no less) and are the reigning Palmetto Champions.  Both squads play in USA Rugby’s Division II, which also has teams in Greenville, Augusta, Charlotte and Wilmington.

“Charleston, I hate to say, has been the most successful club in the Palmetto Union in recent years, and they have done this at our expense too often,” Olde Grey President Matthew Foxworth told FITS. “But Columbia has been building and working harder than ever. We have a new coaching structure, new blood and a group of guys with a real drive to take down those lightweight, low country boys.”

Rugby itself is also is enjoying a resurgence these days.

Last month, the International Olympic Committee approved the game for inclusion in the 2016 and 2020 Olympics.  There’s also a major motion picture about the sport due to be released next month.  Directed by Clint Eastwood and starring Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon, Invictus tells the story of South African president Nelson Mandela – who used the 1995 Rugby World Cup to unite his country after the fall of apartheid.

Saturday’s “Rug off” is set for 2:00 p.m. at Owens Field, which is located next to the downtown Columbia Airport (1400 Jim Hamilton Boulevard).

Admission is free.

UPDATE: Sic Willie, “Shorty” and Uncle Deets were among the crowd at Saturday’s game, which Charleston won 33-11 (although we’re not 100% sure on that score).  We had a blast and can’t wait to watch another match!

Vandals with spray paint cans broke into Williams-Brice Stadium on the University of South Carolina campus Tuesday night and put some “orange in the end zone,” mimicking the catchphrase of arch-rival Clemson University’s radio announcer.

The story of the vandalism – which had been widely-discussed on college football message boards across the state of South Carolina throughout the day Wednesday- was finally confirmed by Joe Person of The (Columbia, S.C.) State, although Person described the internet rumors as “greatly exaggerated” compared to the actual damage.

From Person’s story:

Whenever Clemson scores a touchdown, Tigers play-by-play announcer Pete Yanity makes his signature call, “There’s orange in the end zone.”

A week and a half before the Clemson-USC game, vandals painted orange in the south end zone at Williams-Brice Stadium overnight Tuesday.

USC equipment manager Chris Matlock saw an aerosol can and “a little orange paint” on the field Wednesday morning. Matlock said the damage was minimal and would not require workers to re-sod the grass before the rivalry game Nov. 28.

Matlock said the graffiti message, which included a ‘C,’ appeared to be incomplete.

“It looked like either they got caught or ran out of paint,” Matlock said.

First of all, “There’s orange in the end zone” sounds pretty like a pretty gay signature call to us – and reminds us why we don’t ever listen to football games (or any other sporting events) on the radio.

Of course Yanity is no doubt a better announcer than USC’s worthless play-by-play man, who only has his job because … you know what?

You can read all about that right here …

Anyway, Carolina and Clemson square off Nov. 28 at 12:00 p.m. EST in the latest installment of the South’s longest uninterrupted rivalry.

The Tigers enjoy a 65-37-4 advantage in the series, including a 21-8-1 mark over the last three decades …

Former Clemson University head coach Tommy West was fired earlier this month by the University of Memphis after nine years at the school.

And why not?

Other than a three-year stretch from 2003-05 – during which his teams went 24-13 and earned three consecutive bowl appearances – West’s Memphis squads were generally either mediocre or downright awful.  Sort of like another program we’re all familiar with …

Anyway, West’s firing was following by a dramatic press conference that for some reason (laziness) we’re just stumbling upon now.

Here’s the video …

Wow.

Either Tommy West is a prophet when it comes to the perils faced by dozens of mid-level Division I-A football programs or a really, really whiny redneck who couldn’t coach his way out of a paper bag.

There’s really no middle ground here …

For those of you keeping score at home, West had a 31-28 record in five years at Clemson (1993-98), including three bowl appearances.

Unranked South Carolina will (mercifully) end its 2009 regular season on Nov. 28 at Williams-Brice Stadium against arch-rival Clemson, a game that will be televised nationally on ESPN at 12:00 noon EST.

We’ll have several stories on the so-called “rivalry” (which Clemson leads 65-37-4, including a 21-8-1 advantage over the last three decades), but in the meantime we were forwarded a funny song

It’s called “Big Ole Cock,” and it’s performed by aspiring country musician Patrick Davis.

First, here’s the song …

And here are the lyrics to the song, courtesy of a commenter on the website Cockytalk …

Well I barely slept a wink last night
‘Cause I could hardly wait
To wake up this morning on gameday
So as soon as I heard that ROOSTER CROW
I set off on the road
Straight down I-20 to the Capital City
Where the pretty Carolina Girls grow…

‘Cause I heard all the stories
Of the great GEORGE ROGERS
And how back in 1980
he made the whole Nation holler
And I seen that photograph
of young STEVE TANEYHILL
UP IN OLE DEATH VALLEY
Signing his name on the field
And I love to hear “2001″
And feel WILLIAMS-BRICE rock

Oh what else can I say?
I’M JUST A BIG OLE COCK

Well you know I come from
A long line of COCKS just like me
Who never stopped believing
In spite our history
‘Cause oh though we’ve had heartbreak
And oh so many tears
I know one day I wont have to say
“Wait until NEXT YEAR”

‘Cause I’ve heard all the stories of 1984
And how if we’d have just beat Navy
We’d of won IT ALL for sure
And I’ve cheered for Todd Ellis
Duce Staley and Lou Holtz
And even at 0-11
I NEVER GAVE UP HOPE
Yeah I hate those Georgia Bulldogs
Florida Gators and Rocky Top

Oh what else can I say
I’M JUST A BIG OLE COCK

Yes and when I die
I have just one request
So if you could
Would you promise me this?

Put a keg on my coffin
Inside the State Fairgrounds
Serve chicken and biscuits with all the fixins
Gather everyone around
Have the Ol Ball Coach
Say some words
In his golf shirt and his VISOR
And then send the boys off
TO DESTROY THEM DAMN OLD CLEM(P)SON TIGERS!

‘Cause I heard all the stories
Of the great GEORGE ROGERS
And how back in 1980
he made the whole Nation holler
And I seen that photograph
of young STEVE TANEYHILL
UP IN OLE DEATH VALLEY
Signing his name on the field
And I love to hear “2001″
And feel WILLIAMS-BRICE rock

Yeah what else can I say?
UNTIL MY DYING DAY!
I’LL BE A SOUTH CAROLINA GAMECOCK
(Yes I will!)

(Cheering)
GAME!
COCKS!

For a country song, that’s actually not half bad!

Also, in the interest of preempting a whiny, shrill comment from Wolfe Reports founder Wes Wolfe, his website did write about this song last week.

After the University of South Carolina’s Halloween night loss to the University of Tennessee two weeks ago, we did a poll asking whether or not USC head football coach Steve Spurrier should be fired at the end of the 2009 season.

At the time, Spurrier still had the support of the majority of our readers, although since then the Gamecocks have lost two more games and are likely to be heavy underdogs at home to arch-rival Clemson on Nov. 28.

A loss to the Tigers would end USC’s regular season at a disappointing 6-6, capping another epic late season collapse – one that long-suffering USC fans are becoming all-too accustomed to enduring.

The Gamecocks started this season 5-1 and were once ranked as high as No. 22 in the nation, but they have now lost four of their last five games.

Same sh*t, different year.

Over the last four seasons, Spurrier’s teams have posted a 21-7 mark over the first seven games of the season, only to come unglued down the stretch, where they have posted an atrocious 6-15 mark.

That figure includes a horrific 0-5 finish two years ago and an 0-3 collapse last season that saw them outscored 118-30 in their final three games.

This year’s fourth straight late-season collapse now brings Spurrier’s overall record at Carolina to 34-27, including a 18-21 mark in the SEC.

He is also 1-3 against Clemson, incidentally.

Making matters worse is the lack of “butts in seats.”

Saturday’s 24-14 loss to top-ranked Florida – although a gutsy performance (for three quarters at least) by the players on the field – was only witnessed by 79,000 fans, part of a downward trend in attendance.

So … how’s that Spurrier poll looking now?

Let’s find out …

Pics: Travis Bell, Sideline Carolina

Stirring memories of their epic comeback win in the AFC Championship Game three seasons ago, the Indianapolis Colts pulled another rabbit out of their hats Sunday night against Tom Brady and the New England Patriots – capping another exhilarating edition of the NFL’s marquee rivalry.

Trailing by as many as 17 points in the fourth quarter – and behind by thirteen points with less than three minutes to play – the Colts rallied for two touchdowns in the game’s final moments to seal the improbable 35-34 victory, a win which puts Indy in the drivers’ seat for home-field advantage in the AFC playoffs.

Veteran wide receiver Reggie Wayne caught the game-winning touchdown pass from quarterback Peyton Manning with just thirteen seconds left on the clock – a dagger in the heart of a New England team that had shut the Colts’ offense down for most of the night.

Making the loss even more painful, a questionable decision by Patriots’ head coach Bill Belichick afforded Indianapolis its last-second opportunity.

On a fourth-and-two from their own 28-yard-line with just two minutes on the clock, Belichick inexplicably kept his punting unit on the sideline and chose to go for it.

“You have to punt the ball there,” former Indianapolis head coach Tony Dungy said after the game, although in fairness Belichick would have looked like a genius had the Patriots come up with the first down.

They didn’t, though.

Running back Kevin Faulk caught a short pass from Brady just ahead of the first down marker, but he bobbled the reception – which negated any of his forward progress.  Accordingly, the referees marked Faulk where he landed – about a half-yard shy of the first down marker.

Belichick’s costly gamble set the Colts up with a short field and nearly two full minutes on the clock, which was more than enough time for Manning and the Indianapolis offense to score the go-ahead touchdown.

Wayne’s final, fingertip grab was one of ten catches on the night for the three-time Pro Bowler, who finished with 126 receiving yards and two touchdowns.

“It’s hard to say if it was his best catch ever,” Manning said of Wayne’s game-winning grab. “But it was timely.”

For New England the loss made painful history, as no team coached by Belichick has ever squandered that large of a lead in the fourth quarter.

Once again, the much-hyped duel between Manning and Brady lived up to its advance billing.  Brady finished 29 of 42 for 375 yards, 3 touchdowns and one interception, while Manning finished 28 of 44 for 327 yards, 4 touchdowns and two interceptions.

As much as we detest Lane Kiffin, we’ve always loved the Lane Kiffin Show – a hilarious cartoon spoof of the Tennessee head football coach’s weekly program that features a shirtless Kiffin verbally accosting his guests.

This week’s installment of the show featured NuKeese Richardson, one of three Kiffin recruits at UT who was arrested on Thursday for an attempted armed robbery outside a Knoxville convenience store.

While the real-life Kiffin has yet to take a position on the future of these players at Tennessee, his shirtless caricature comes down hard on the them … but tells Richardson that he will “pay for your cab ride of Knoxville if you toss my salad.”

“You are going to need the practice anyway with where you are going,” the cartoon Kiffin says.

Note …

Click here to view all of the hilarious Lane Kiffin Show episodes.

Hat tip: D’ Bricka$haw.

Google “Tim Tebow’s girlfriend” and there’s a better than average chance you’ll come up with a picture of British glamor model Lucy Pinder … who is actually not the Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback’s girlfriend, but bears a mild (if you’re being rude to Pinder) resemblance to some girl that Tebow was photographed with a few years ago.

Specifically, this girl …

Yeah … the fabric color is the same, people, that’s about it.

Tebow, who professes to be a devout Christian (and a virgin who is saving himself for marriage), couldn’t possibly be “dating” this woman, because let’s face it – any straight man who was trying to “save himself for marriage” wouldn’t stand a chance with Pinder.

Hell, we could see entire monasteries dropping their vows like bad habits … again, assuming there’s any straightness to be found among Catholic clergy (Alberto Cutie notwithstanding).

Anyway, Tebow’s top-ranked Florida Gators head to Williams-Brice stadium in Columbia, S.C. as sixteen point favorites over the hapless South Carolina Gamecocks this Saturday, and since there’s not expected to be much for long-suffering USC fans to enjoy, we figured we’d present them with Lucy Pinder … who is NOT Tim Tebow’s girlfriend.

(click on each thumbnail for a larger image …)

Sixteen points?  Really?

Believe it or not, that’s the spread for No. 1 Florida’s visit to Williams-Brice Stadium this Saturday, where the Gators will take on a University of South Carolina team that’s in the middle of its fourth consecutive season-ending tailspin.

Kickoff is at 3:30 p.m. EST, and the game will be televised nationally on CBS. Unfortunately for Gamecock fans.

As we’ve noted till we’re (Gator) blue in the face, USC is sputtering when it needs to be stepping up.

After all, the “Garnet Way” is to start the football season strong (21-7 over the last four seasons), only to finish it with a whimper down the stretch (6-14 over that same span).

That’s happening again this year, as head coach Steve Spurrier’s team has lost three of its last four contests after starting the season with a promising 5-1 record.  Meanwhile, top-ranked Florida has found its groove again after experiencing closer than expected games against Arkansas and Mississippi State.

The Gators are 9-0 (7-0), and have already clinched the SEC Eastern Division title and a spot in the conference championship game in Atlanta.

So … should the spread in this game be larger?

We obviously think so, but cast your vote in our poll below …

After defeating Florida 30-22 in 2005 – Spurrier’s first year in Columbia – his Gamecock teams have gone downhill against his former alma mater and the site of his greatest coaching triumphs.

In 2006, Florida needed a blocked field goal on the final play of the game to squeak past USC 17-16 in Gainesville, the last time the series has been competitive.

In 2007, Florida’s last trip to Williams Brice, Tim Tebow ran away from USC 51-31, while last year in Gainesville, the Gators blew USC out 56-6.

NOTES: Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes returns to action against USC after suspending himself one game for a vicious eye-gouging incident in the Gators’ thumping of Georgia two weeks ago.

Peyton Manning of the Indianapolis Colts is on track to obliterate every single NFL quarterback record there is … but that still hasn’t resolved the debate over whether or not he is the best quarterback in the league.

First, the numbers.

Manning became the first quarterback in NFL history to pass for 40,000 yards in a decade on Sunday, a game that also saw him tie former Minnesota great Fran Tarkenton for fourth place on the all-time wins list with 125.

Additionally, Manning needs just three touchdown passes to become the first quarterback in league history to throw for 300 touchdowns in a decade.

Amazing, huh?  And you don’t even have to be a pseudo-homoerotic Manning man-crusher (like our founding editor, or for that matter Titans coach Jeff Fisher) to appreciate that.

Of course, as our bud “Nate-dog” out in the Great Northwest frequently reminds us, Manning trails New England Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady 3-to-1 in the only statistic that really matters: Super Bowls.

In fact, prior to the last few years, Brady (a.k.a. “Poopie“) and the Patsies have owned Manning’s Colts – particularly in the playoffs.

Plus, to add insult to injury, Brady broke Manning’s single-season record for touchdown passes two years ago.

Why bring all this up now?

Well, this Sunday night on NBC, Brady and Manning face off against each other for the eleventh time – with Brady owning a 7-3 advantage in the superstar series.  Of course, Manning has flipped the script in recent years, taking three of their last four meetings.

Both teams are playing extremely well, as usual, with the Patriots record standing at 6-2 and the Colts’ 8-0 mark one of only two undefeated records in the league.

To read more about the match-up, check out these links from the Boston Herald, Boston Globe and Indy Star (nice graph included).

Oh, and GO COLTS!!!!!