The Colts’ Draft Sucked May 20, 2008
Posted by fitsnews in : Sports , 3 commentsBUT SOMETIMES BAD NEWS COMES IN GOOD PACKAGES
FITSNews - May 20, 2008 - Given our unrequited love of both the Indianapolis Colts and fantasy athletics, it should come as no surprise that finding a way to throw large breasts into that equation pretty much ices an already yummy cake.
In fact, not since “Mr. Pibb and Red Vines” has a combination been so thoroughly delectable … err, crazy delicious.
Anyway, even though the Colts obviously didn’t set the world on fire with their 2008 draft class, something about this recap comforts us nonetheless …
Shootin’ Around With Darrin Horn May 15, 2008
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SOUTH CAROLINA’S NEW BASKETBALL COACH DISHES WITH THE FITS GALS
FITSNews - May 15, 2008 - Ever since the University of South Carolina named Darrin Horn its new men’s basketball coach last month, the FITS gals have been chomping at the bit to sit down with the 35-year old Western Kentucky hottie.
As it turns out, our founding editor Sic Willie initially refused to publish such an interview because he was still “irrevocably pissed off” at South Carolina athletics. Like … this pissed off.
Later, of course, we found out the real reason for Sic’s hostility wasn’t some thinly-repressed Spurrier angst, it stemmed from the fact Horn is simply a lot better looking than he is. Which makes him insanely jealous.
Anyway, at long last, we finally got the chance to do the interview today (editor’s note: hat-tip Casey M ) … (more…)
Geauxing So Soon, Perrilloux? May 2, 2008
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QUARTERBACK WHO SAID HE’D WIN “FOUR HEISMANS” IS OUT AT LSU
FITSNews - May 2, 2008 - The defending national champions … er, the defending winners of some corporate-sponsored, anti-competitive algorithm game … have abruptly dismissed sophomore quarterback Ryan Perrilloux, according to USA Today.
Perrilloux, who famously said during his high school career that he would win “four Heisman trophys,” showed flashes of brilliance at LSU but was relegated to backing up starter Matt Flynn for most of last season. From LSU:
“Ryan was given every opportunity to be a part of this football team,” Miles said. “In the end, he didn’t fulfill his obligation as an LSU student-athlete. We hope that a new beginning will benefit him. I wish Ryan and his family nothing but the best in any of his future endeavors.”
First of all, you’ve got to love Louisiana names. Everybody sounds like they’re a courtroom protagonist in a John Grisham novel. “Mista Perrilloux! I will not tolerate such antics in my courtroom!” Anyway, this guy is getting kicked off the LSU football team and he’s probably still too good to play for South Carolina.
Tearful McCready “Can’t Refute” Affair Allegations April 29, 2008
Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture, Sports , 5 comments
COUNTRY SINGER DOESN’T DENY LONG-TERM AFFAIR WITH ROGER CLEMENS
FITSNews - April 29, 2008 - One day after star pitcher Roger Clemens denied having an affair with country music singer Mindy McCready, the embattled musician is confirming the story to the New York Daily News, a publication that is quickly becoming the Rocket’s worst nightmare.
From the story:
Barricaded behind tightly drawn blinds at her Nashville home Monday, country singer Mindy McCready confirmed a long-term affair with embattled pitcher Roger Clemens.
“I cannot refute anything in the story,” a tearful but resolute McCready told the Daily News, which broke the story at midnight Sunday.
The News reported that the two met in a Florida karaoke bar when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer and Clemens was a 28-year-old ace for the Red Sox and a married father of two.
Ouch. Coupled with the steriod accusations against him, it’s probably safe to say at this point that Roger Clemens is having the worst year ever …
Kudos to the NY Daily News, though, for its descriptive “tearful but resolute” and “barricaded behind tightly drawn blinds” lead-in to the article. We felt like we were there …
This Is Not Encouraging
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SPURRIER NEEDS TO GET IT IN GEAR, PEOPLE
FITSNews - April 29, 2008 - After last season’s collapse and this season’s sh*tty recruiting class and off-field troubles, the high hopes surrounding South Carolina’s football team under head coach Steve Spurrier have pretty much vanished.
Which isn’t surprising, because this is South Carolina football - where high hopes have historically gone to die.
Anyway, here was Spurrier’s less-than optimistic assessment in today’s La Socialista on the current status of his program, which fielded its worst NFL draft class in seven years:
“Yeah, maybe someday we’ll have some players the scouts want to come see,” Spurrier said.
Wait … “maybe someday?” We’re paying this guy $1.75 million a year (before endorsements) and he says “maybe someday” we’ll have some decent football players in our program? Jeez …
UPDATE - Of course, no matter how bad Carolina sucks, don’t worry … they’re still making damn sure that their mediocre athletic programs are the only game in town.
It’s Getting Worse For Rocket April 28, 2008
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CLEMENS REPORTEDLY HAD DECADE-LONG AFFAIR WITH COUNTRY MUSIC SINGER
FITSNews - April 28, 2008 - Disgraced baseball superstar Roger Clemens is dealing with additional bad news this week after the New York Daily News broke a story yesterday alleging that the pitcher had a “10-year fling” with country music star Mindy McCready (editor’s note: this chick).
From the story:
Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two, several sources have told the Daily News.
The revelations could torpedo claims of an unsullied character that are central to the defamation suit Clemens filed Jan. 6 against his former personal trainer Brian McNamee. Vivid details of the affair could surface in several media projects that McCready is involved with - including a documentary that begins filming today in Nashville, a new album and a reality show.
First of all it’s kind of hard to call a decade-long affair a “fling.” We’re not sure what the precise time limit is, but according to Sic Willie they can be as short as 15 seconds and as long as 35 seconds.
Second, country music sucks, and if you listen to it you’re probably an inbred.
Anyway, as he did when confronted with steroid accusations, Clemens is denying the ”fling” through his attorneys.
Supersonic Suit April 23, 2008
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SHOULD THEY STAY OR SHOULD THEY GO?
FITSNews - April 23, 2008 - There really are only a few things we care less about than NBA Basketball, but the story of the Seattle Supersonics would-be move to Oklahoma City is actually kind of interesting - or at least more interesting than watching a league where nobody plays defense.
Although the NBA Board of Governors approved the Sonics’ relocation Friday, the team’s former owner is suing to keep them in Seattle, saying that the new owners are guilty of “fraud” because they promised not to relocate the franchise.
Actually, we’re sorry … we lied. This really isn’t interesting at all. The Sonics were 20-62 last year, so they could relocate pretty much anywhere on the planet and still suck. And since last year’s ratings for the NBA finals were the worst ever - less than a third of their peak during Michael Jordan’s heyday - it’s pretty obvious that the NBA sucks, too.
Bottom line? We apologize for bringing the NBA to your attention and will refrain from doing so in the future … well, unless there’s a big fight or something.
