PC TV: RIP ANTM August 18, 2008
Posted by mande_wilkes in : Pop Culture , 4 comments
YES, THOSE ACRONYMS ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING
By Mande Wilkes
FITSNews - August 18, 2008 - Until now, reality TV has been just about the only venue uninfected by the politically-correct contagion … well, except for FITSNews, natch, which remains resolutely immune to the PC epidemic …
We know, you’re so welcome.
Anyway, reality programming has been the last televised bastion of the “anti-PC” - a place where we can still laugh freely at midgets, ugly drunk girls, and Flavor Flav. And while America’s Next Top Model (a longtime fave of the FITS gals) lacks midgets, ugly drunk girls and Flavor Flav, it’s still chock full of otherwise captivating cultural voyeurism.
Lamentably, though, the show’s host Tyra Banks has been on a mission of late to inject ANTM with the same political correctness that has infected all other entertainment media.
Last season, she chose Whitney Thompson as the contest winner, crowning an allegedly plus-size girl with this coveted honor. Now, to be fair, Ms. Thompson is hardly full-figured, fleshy only in her boobs and svelte everywhere else … but still. America’s Next Top Model just ain’t supposed to be called plus-size, even if the industry definition of that term approximates the ostensible beneficiary of your nickel-a-day pledge to eradicate world hunger. (more…)
Thank God For Georgia August 17, 2008
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PALMETTO STATE AVOIDS BIGFOOT EMBARRASSMENT … FOR NOW
FITSNews - August 17, 2008 - Let’s see if we’ve got this straight … two rednecks supposedly find “Bigfoot,” put him in a giant beer cooler at an undisclosed location and then hold a press conference to present “scientific proof” of their discovery … at which point they categorically fail to provide any proof, but do a damn good job promoting their website, which sells commemorative Bigfoot belt buckles to people who live in trailer parks.
How the hell is this story not happening in South Carolina, people?
Seriously, this sort of thing has our state written all over it …
Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Skinny Again August 15, 2008
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ACTRESS SHOWS OFF NEW BOD TO US MAGAZINE
FITSNews - August 15, 2008 - Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt has shed eighteen pounds and is showing off her new body in the latest edition of US magazine. Actually, it’s same body, there’s just eighteen pounds less of it in the posterior region.
Hewitt, who became the “butt” (sorry) of endless web jokes for her weight gain last year, is reportedly telling friends that the harsh criticism she received had nothing to do with her desire to remove the equivalent of two babies (or Mary Kate and Ashley) from her rear end …
“With her, it’s not, ‘I want to look good in that dress,’” trainer Stevie Sant’Angelo tells Us. “She wanted to start moving around because she thought it would make her feel better.
“She told me, ‘They said some rude, mean things, but that’s not why I wanted to change,’” Sant’Angelo says.
You know, as much as we would never make fun of someone for being tight-butt challenged (wait, nevermind - we made fun of her here, here, here and here), we’re not buying this Mr. Sant’Angelo’s spin for a minute.
Ascribing purely intrinsic motives to Hewitt’s “de-bubblefication” of her rump is like ascribing humanitarian motives to a Stalinist purge. Wait … perhaps “purge” wasn’t the best choice of words there. Anyway, props to JLH for slimming down … maybe now she’ll take up Hef on his invite.
UPDATE - Sorry, we neglected to send a hat-tip to one of our favorite “Who’s Hot” girls for the heads-up … danke, Miss M.
We Heard A Rumer August 14, 2008
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BUT DIE HARD DAUGHTER SAYS SHE’S NOT A DYKE
FITSNews - August 14, 2008 - We promise we’ll stop overtly schilling for Page Six magazine as soon as they stop sending us interesting stuff … like this week’s interview with celebrity daughter Rumer Willis, who confronts allegations that she’s a closet Lohan …
Rumer holds nothing back talking about her parents’ split and the media’s relentless criticism of people in the public eye: “It’s shocking how unbelievably mean people are—not just the people who are writing stuff, the people who make comments. For awhile I read that stuff, and it was upsetting, I’d get really down on myself, which is debilitating,” she says. “Now I think, ‘Do you really have nothing better to do than talk s- - -t about me?’”
She also responds to the rumors that she’s gay: “If people call me a lesbian because I have short hair and I wear jeans instead of dresses, then by all means, run with it. I think it’s hilarious. I like guys.”
First of all, what is “talking s—t?” Shouldn’t it just be “s–t?” Seriously, what’s the extra “-” for, unless of course people have started talking “skeet” about each other and nobody told us.
And no, we really don’t have anything “better to do.” At least not a the moment. Well, unless of course scouring the Internet for naked pics of Rumer’s mom counts …
Teach Your Children Well …
Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture , 2 comments
FOUR-YEAR-OLD GETS “GRAND THEFT AUTO” CAKE
FITSNews - August 14, 2008 - We have a four-year-old, people … and he watches Thomas the Tank Engine movies. In fact, we just asked him what he wanted on his birthday cake and he said “a Thomas cake with Thomas candles and Thomas the tank engine.”
Well, apparently our four-year-old isn’t as hip as “Lil’ Derrick,” who got a Grand Theft Auto cake complete with rolled-up bills, stolen cars and a picture of a gangster “packin’ a nine” (that’s a nine millimeter semiautomatic handgun, for those of you who don’t know).
Here’s the Grand Theft Auto IV trailer, by the way. Pretty cool stuff, we’ll grant you … but definitely for adults, not Kindergarteners.
By the way, “The Cuz” forwarded us this little gem from a website called Cake Wrecks, which has to be one of the funniest websites we’ve ever seen …
M-M-Mariah August 13, 2008
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WE’RE ALL ABOUT MAKING THINGS RIGHT, PEOPLE
FITSNews - August 13, 2008 - It turns out you really can’t please everybody all the time … well, unless you’re Sic Willie in the bedroom.
Anyway, after taking inordinate grief from the ladies for a conspicuous absence of Olympic coverage (i.e. pics of Michael Phelps in a Speedo), we’re now hearing from the fellas, who suddenly feel they’ve been shortchanged on the visual relief front today.
Alright, alright guys … how about Mariah Carey from one of our favorite new websites, “Less Clothes:”
Mariah Carey has a cameo in some new Snoop video. She plays a hot girl with huge breasts and a see-thru shirt and no bra. I don’t know what the video is about, but as we embark on this fantastic journey together, remember your training, and god speed.
You can view the whole photo shoot by clicking here. And if you’re keeping score at home, Sic only lasted through the sixth purple pic.
We May Go See A Movie About Wrestling August 12, 2008
Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture , 3 comments
… BECAUSE MARISA TOMEI IS PLAYING A STRIPPER
FITSNews - August 12, 2008 - Few things in life irritate us quite as much as professional wrestling. Seriously, people. It’s all steroids, spandex and stage-managed expressions of latent homosexuality, as far as we can tell.
So it follows, naturally, that going to see a movie about professional wrestling wasn’t at the top of our “to-do” list … until today, that is.
That’s because the movie “The Wrestler” includes legendary Hollywood hottie Marisa Tomei playing the part of an exotic (i.e. topless) dancer, which is just plain sneaky of professional wrestling if you ask us, seeing as we’ve been fantasizing about Tomei ever since the dripping faucet scene from “My Cousin Vinny” … which came out like sixteen hundred years ago.
Anyway, needless to say we may be going to see a movie about professional wrestling now …
