For someone who prides himself on having zero integrity or credibility, our founding editor has nonetheless managed to amass quite a bit of both over the past few years.

Alright, alright … Sic Willie obviously has no integrity … who are we kidding!

But it’s hard to argue that FITS News hasn’t become a credible news outlet, even as Sic rakes in the big sweet dollars from undisclosed special interests while at the same time disingenuously proclaiming his hatred for the accumulation of such mainstream “respects.”

Errr … wait … no, actually.  None of that.  Did we just write that?!?!?  Mistake! We meant something else!

Anyway, as FITS has shown on multiple occasions, Sic is also the master of “milking a story,” as he is obviously doing with the whole “Lindsey Graham is a tool of the radical left” series.

And yes, here’s the obligatory invitation for you to click here, here, here and here if you want to read the meticulously-documented stories that expose the whole scam.

Sometimes, though, it’s not us that’s milking the story … it’s the hit dogs who “holler back” at us.

For example, here’s an email we received earlier today from one of the leaders of Lindsey Graham’s Shining Path …

In one of your recent posts about Lindsey Graham you incorrectly assert that Republicans for Environmental Protection gets funding from the Tides Foundation. REP has not recieved a dime from Tides. REP is organized under section 501c4 of the tax code and I do not think it would even qualify for such support.

REP has no connection whatsoever to liberal whacko George Soros, and implying that we do is dishonest. You also imply that REP is not really the group defending Senator Graham. We are. So please get your facts straight. If you are really interested in honest reporting, I am happy to answer any questions that come up regarding REP.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.

David Jenkins
Vice President for Government and Political Affairs
Republicans for Environmental Protection

First, excuse us while we bend over and contemplate the half-hour (and several hundred dollars) that our lawyers are going to bill us for as they contemplate this nonsensical missive …

(moon river …)

… ahhh, that’s better. Thank you.

Now, on to the substance of this merit-less complaint (which $640 later we were advised to simply ignore, btw).

First of all, as FITS readers are very well aware, “Republicans for Environmental Protection” was not the group originally listed as the entity behind these ads.  It was supposed to be paid for by the left-leaning “Truman National Security Project,” although our investigation into the whole she-bang (bad pun, sorry) forced Graham’s left-wing defenders to switch the sponsor of the buy at the last minute (see the evidence of that here).

It’s funny to see such a passionate response from a guy whose organization was literally thrown onto the ad buy at the very last minute – after we exposed the first assemblage of tree huggers.

Anyway, let’s look at the various bones of contention from Mr. Jenkins’ nastygram (because we’re milking, remember?) …

“You incorrectly assert that Republicans for Environmental Protection gets funding from the Tides Foundation,” Jenkins writes.

Well, no.  No we didn’t.  We asserted what we could prove, which was that Republicans for Environmental Protection “is connected to a donor fund managed by the San Francisco-based Tides Foundation, one of the many George Soros-funded non-profits that provides provides ‘fiscal sponsorship for progressive groups.’”

Indeed, during the 2008 cycle, $20,000 of the $25,000 received by the Republicans for Environmental Protection PAC came from John A. Harris IV and Lawrie Harris.  The Harris’s are big time donors to environmental 527 committees.  In the 2006 election cycle, for example, they contributed over $1 million to environmental groups. In one of those donor disclosures, Harris lists a group called the Changing Horizons Fund as his employer.

Guess who manages that fund? George Soros’ Tides Foundation.

Jenkins goes on to allege that our story implied that “REP is not really the group defending Senator Graham. We are.”

Um, really?

Actually, we stated directly in our story that Republicans for Environmental Protection was “the group that is now responsible for the pro-Graham ads.”  And obviously, the “now” reference refers to the fact that they weren’t always the group responsible for the ads, which is once against a fact that we not only caused, but meticulously documented as well.

Seriously, dude.  If you’re gonna come into our kitchen, accuse us of “inaccurate” reporting, and tell us to “get (our) facts straight,” you better come with more than this.

This is our kitchen, and we refuse to be blamed for the fact that you and the rest of your fellow Lindsey lovers left such an easy trail of bread crumbs for us to follow …

Of course if you’re looking for a place to print this weak ass sh*t, we recommend taking it over to Graham campaign headquarters.  They’ll no doubt print it verbatim and unchallenged.

Of course, bear in mind that in so doing you’ll only be helping us to further milk the story …

“Y’all have stirred up a hornet’s nest now,” a friend of ours emailed our founding editor today, referring to a story we posted Thursday regarding the Confederate flag.

Actually, we have Democratic gubernatorial candidate Mullins McLeod to thank for that, as we were merely covering the Confederate flag issue within the context of his “jobs plan,” which called for the Stars and Bars that currently flies from behind a soldiers’ monument on the State House grounds to be transported to a museum.

You can read the story (and the comments) by clicking here, if you’re interested.

Anyway, as much as we’d love to write about the Confederate flag every day (and rake in all the huge web traffic that such articles bring), in good conscience we just can’t.

Why not?

Because frankly, we don’t believe that the Confederate flag debate – or any flag-related flap (bad pun, sorry) – is really that big of a deal.

After all, you are currently reading a website that relishes bashing rednecks every bit as much as it enjoys telling the NAACP to go f*ck itself – although those examples stand out because we rarely feel compelled to address the race issue at all.

Why not?  Well, as much as polarizing politicians like President Barack Obama and Rep. Joe Wilson might think (read: exploit) otherwise, race isn’t all that complicated.

To us, “equality” means exactly what its definition implies – a level playing field for all that doesn’t discriminate based on race, gender or sexual orientation.  Is such a position considered “progressive” for a state like South Carolina?  Who knows.  We honestly don’t think about it all that much.  We believe what we believe, and others are free to do the same.

The flip side of that coin, though, is that we also don’t believe in affirmative action, handouts, hate crimes legislation, quotas, the re-imposition of the welfare “bounty system,” government-imposed education monopolies (which, ironically, hold more blacks down) non-performance based pay raises, minority-only loans or any of that other PC nonsense that presumes to give any minority an unfair competitive advantage over non-minorities (read: crackers) in any field of endeavor.

Yeah … our “white guilt” level is less than zero, people.

Bottom line, we never enslaved or lynched anybody, nor did any of our parents, grandparents or great-grandparents.  You wanna go back further than that?  Take it up with President Johnson (Andrew).

Of course, if you flip that coin back over (again), racism is a fundamental human evil that makes us want to throw up.  That’s why it’s doubtful you will ever find another news outlet in South Carolina that so aggressively (and articulately :)) excoriates those who demean or belittle other human beings based on race.

Joking is one thing (we do plenty of that), but when people spew authentic hatred – and it comes time for somebody to “drop the hammer” on them – we’re always game.  Similarly, you won’t find a more stringent advocate for undoing South Carolina’s racist 1895 state constitution,which continues to hold our state back a helluva lot more than any piece of fabric.

On that note, if gubernatorial candidate Mullins McLeod was serious about improving economic conditions for all Palmetto State residents, he would have included a plan to bring our state government out of the 19th Century, not a pandering focus on a meaningless symbol.

Which brings us our point (and the picture we were forwarded earlier today by a good friend of ours).

As you can see from the image above, that’s a group of Ku Klux Klansmen marching through Washington D.C. in 1925.  Amazingly, they’re carrying the American – not the Confederate flag.

“Oh say can you see,” right?

Pandering, obviously, was every bit as alive and well then as it is now.  And flags, obviously, can still be carried by anybody looking to make any sort of statement.  Even racists like the KKK.

Of course, when you stop and think about it, a lot of people who stand by the flag these days clearly don’t have the foggiest conception of what it stands for.

Most of them don’t, actually.

Think about it … the revolutionary equation that this nation was founded on is strikingly simple – individual liberty and prosperity for all, with a limited government (like we used to have) dedicated to protecting freedom and free markets.

Accordingly, where individual freedom and free markets wax, America moves closer to its ideal and its people move closer to happiness.  Where those principles wane, however, we move closer towards oblivion and a repressive regime that will soon have to erect walls to keep people in, not out.

Until the current generation of politicians – in Washington D.C. and Columbia S.C. – figure that basic formula out, their flags will continue to stand as meaningless symbols on the political battlefield.

They’ll also continue to cheapen the sacrifices being made by those who are fighting for freedom on the actual battlefield.

Pic hat-tip: KJSK

We don’t know all that much about Greenwood, S.C., and from the looks of it we’d prefer to keep it that way …

As far as we can tell, it’s just another town in the middle of B.F.E., S.C. where the local politicians ride roughshod over the best interests of the taxpayers – and where the local “country boys” put on homoerotically-themed bull riding events.

From Greewood Today …

Other than all the long hours, tons and tons of dirt, exhausted muscles, blood, sweat, and tears……putting on a bull riding event is just a few country boys having a lot of fun! Tommy McClinton, who is a native of 96, now resides with his wife Nancy and their 3 children in Ware Shoals, and has been helping Bryan Hope get the Greenwood Civic Center ready for this weekend’s bull riding event….just as he has done for the last 7 or 8 years!

And yes, in case you were wondering, “96″ is a town.  A town where our founding editor is not very popular.

Pic: Greenwood Today

A few weeks ago, several thousand of you (our closest friends) checked out a post we wrote entitled “Who’s That Girl?”

Don’t remember? Click here for a quick refresher …

Yeah, Mystery Girl’s presence (and the subsequent debate over who she was) completely drowned out the buzz from our founding editor’s big interview with a local TV station on the Palmetto State’s emerging “new media” scene.

You see, the thing about the FITS gals is that everyone just assumed they existed only in Sic Willie’s overactive imagination.

Seriously … Nancy … Mande … they’re not really real, are they?

Are they?

Well today, you’re one step closer to unlocking the mystery behind “Mystery Girl …”

Her name? Ashley Hester.

Her title? Director of Advertising and Special Projects.

Her sign? Leo … but asking her that probably isn’t going to get you anywhere (just ask Sic).

Anyway, Ashley recently sat down for an exclusive interview with us about her new job, which we’ll be bringing you early next week. And for those of you who prefer pictures to words, she also posed for our lovely and talented photographer, Sarah Kobos.

We’ll be bringing you those pics, too.

Aye Cabana Boy, people!

(Definitely) stay tuned …

(click on picture below for a high-rez image)

Pic: Sarah Kobos

Sometimes you just gotta read the label, people …

Especially the “take rectally” reference.

Ouch!

We also like the part about how “if side effects persist, continue taking Obamacare – you have no choice anyway!”

So true …

Pic: Right Condition

Our founding editor is once again in hot water – this time with the Canadian government.

After posting a humorous (we thought) article last week about Canada fighting terrorism by using nude girls on its currency (the article was a spoof, people), we received the following Nastygram from La Banque du Canada in our inbox …

Attention (FITSNews), Editors

http://www.fitsnews.com/2009/11/09/canada-is-redeeming-itself-today/

I am writing to you in response to the posting of altered bank note images, that are featured on your web site. As the Bank of Canada is the sole copyright owner of Canadian bank note images, we must inform you that the changes that have been made to the notes do not meet our guidelines, and are seen in a very bad light. Therefore, we are asking you to remove them from your web site.

Should you have any queries, please view our reproduction policy at : http://www.bank-banque-canada.ca/en/banknotes/legislation/repro.html

Many thanks

Marie Terrien
Senior Analyst
Compliance
Bank of Canada
(613) 782-7779

Formally, we’ve forwarded La Banque’s Nastygram to our legal department, which will issue a response on our behalf.

Informally, Sic Willie left Madame Terrien a voicemail en francais … which is always dangerous because Sic can’t actually speak French, meaning when his juvenile “vous faire sait qui je suis?!?!?” response could very easily provoke an international incident.

Oh wait … never mind … it’s Canada.

Anyway, sources tell FITS that the Canadian government was alerted to our post by a staff member of former Canadian ambassador David Wilkins, who is said to be tight with someone who may or may not still be hiding out in Canada right now.

Clemson University spent more money traveling during the last fiscal year than any other state agency, racking up nearly $10 million in travel expenses according to a report released Friday by the S.C. Comptroller General’s Office.

As usual, the University of South Carolina ($8.9 million) and MUSC in Charleston ($5.1. million) ranked second and third in the report.

Other big-dollar travelers include the S.C. Judicial Department ($1.7 million), the State Department of Education ($1.6 million) and the utterly worthless S.C. Employment Security Commission ($1.1 million).

The S.C. House of Representatives spent $800,000, while the Senate spent $420,000.

Travel costs were down this year considerably, although that’s not saying much considering the rampant growth in recent years.

Last South Carolina taxpayers forked over a grand total of $80 million on travel expenses for state agencies in FY 2007-08, which is more than a full percent of the state budget.

That figure also represented a $27 million (51%) increase in travel costs from the previous two years.

WEB EXTRA

2008-09 S.C. Agency Travel Report

The problem with publishing email forwards in a venue like this one is that they invariably “date” you … which in the 24/7 “insta-news” business is probably not a good thing.

“What? You’re just getting that email? Somebody forwarded that to me a week ago …”

New media, you see, is supposed to be “new.”  Not based on some email that your parents were sending to their wine and book club lists during the Clinton administration.

Anyway, our policy has always been to publish stuff we think is worth publishing whenever it comes to us … even if that makes us a little late to the party.

So … from something we were forwarded Thursday night …

— IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

— IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

— IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

— IF YOU CROSS THE TURKISH BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN PRISON.

BUT, IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET:

— A DRIVERS LICENSE

— A SOCIAL SECURITY CARD

— WELFARE CHECKS

— FOOD STAMPS

— AND FREE HEALTH CARE

C’mon, everybody … sing it with us …

“O Beautiful, for spacious skies …”

Gold is trading at record levels as people are conspicuously avoiding putting their money into a market whose “liquidity bubble” could burst any day now.

As a result (duh), people are desperately seeking more gold.  Makes sense, right?

Yeah … one small problem.

From the Telegraph UK):

Global gold production is in terminal decline despite record prices and Herculean efforts by mining companies to discover fresh sources of ore in remote spots, according to the world’s top producer Barrick Gold …

Ruh-roh!

After somehow managing to worsen what was already the worst system of public education in the entire nation, S.C. Superintendent of Education Jim Rex has a brilliant idea that we’re sure will fix absolutely everything …

Give ‘em guns …

No, really.

Reviving an old idea that he first championed this summer (when he was still running for reelection), Rex is reportedly bringing his “Shoot ‘em up” concept out for a “test-firing” in the Democratic gubernatorial primary.

Here’s are the details, courtesy of an old Indigo Journal story (one that just so happens to feature a gratuitous “shot” at our founding editor) …

In one optional after-school activity, sixth-graders with parental permission can take a gun safety and hunter education course. Students who score well on a hunter education test can be selected – again, with permission from their parents – to participate in a turkey hunt with DNR staff.

Rex is an avid hunter and sports shooter, but understands that some might take issue with the idea of including shooting sports in public school activities. But he said it’s time that schools recognized shooting sports as legitimate competitive activities.

“Skeet shooting is an Olympic sport,” Rex said. “It’s been a recognized sport at private schools for years, in South Carolina and in other states. There’s no reason we can’t find safe ways to include it in extracurricular activities at public schools if a community wants it.”

“We maintain a zero-tolerance policy for guns used as weapons, and at no point would students have weapons on campus. But we have to acknowledge that they are a fact of life and that we have 200,000 licensed hunters in South Carolina. If parents approve, we can teach young people respect for firearms and how to use them appropriately, should they choose one day to become gun owners.”

Good Lord.

The goal of this nonsense is to obviously to endear Rex to South Carolina’s outdoorsmen, who we have recently been informed are much more liberal than we ever expected.

Guns + Liberals + Failing Schools, people.

What could possibly go wrong?