Our founding editor has employed an admittedly maddening method of “proving” that he had an extramarital affair with then-S.C. Rep. Nikki Haley during the spring of 2007 – a seismic political revelation that celebrates its one-year “scandal-versary” next week.

Sure, he’s provided all sorts of circumstantial evidence – text messages, phone logs, witnesses and graphic details – and has even signed an affidavit attesting to the veracity of his claims.

But he’s offered no smoking gun … at least not yet. In fact, not only did Sic Willie’s admission set off a chain reaction that helped ensure Haley’s election (prompting many to speculate that he conspired with her campaign to orchestrate the whole scam) but his refusal to provide definitive proof has kept her from having to honor a previous pledge to resign if she were ever proved a liar.

Love-hate, love-hate …

Meanwhile Haley has denied – but failed to refute – any of Sic’s previous statements. She’s also refused to sign an affidavit and invoked an exemption to keep her correspondence hidden from public view.

Seriously, people … is it really that hard to figure out who’s telling the truth here?

Are we really going to have to do depositions (and provide swabs)?

Anyway, in keeping with his random release of details, Folks on Wednesday posted a pair of images to his Twitter page showing a pair of inscriptions that Haley sent him – one during their affair and one after it had concluded.

The first inscription was written by Haley in the spring of 2007 – while she and Folks were carrying on their affair.

Will,

Thank you for your friendship and support. I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

-Nikki

Here’s a picture of that inscription:

(Click to enlarge)

The second inscription was written two years later – after Folks had broken off the affair with Haley to pursue a relationship with his future wife. Here’s what it said:

Will,

Thank you for your constant friendship and support!

-Nikki

And here’s that picture:

(Click to enlarge)

Obviously, these inscriptions prove nothing … well, except for the fact that Haley appears to have been a bit closer to Folks in 2007 than she was in 2009.

Also, Haley’s “I appreciate you more than you will ever know” note obviously makes her previous claims to have “barely known” Folks almost as laughable as her claim that the pair’s multiple late-night phone calls were indicative of her “strong work ethic.”

Although she knew certainly how to work “it …”

Anyway, the FITS brain trust (such as it is) remains of several minds about Sic Willie’s bizarre method of prosecuting this case in the court of  public opinion. But we can’t escape the fact that this is his website, and he can do what he wants with it.

We’re certainly eager to have him finish his book and be done with the drama once and for all … but he’s apparently got other ideas.

***

Wait … what?

And more importantly … why is this news going to break on another website?

As soon as we stop laughing, we’ll try and figure out what’s going on … but it appears as though our founding editor may have finally gone “round the bend” with this one.

Like, way ’round the bend.

Of all the crazy stunts Sic Willie has pulled (he once attempted to run a canine candidate against the incumbent Republican Secretary of State), a gubernatorial campaign would be hugely entertaining, though.

Not to mention incredibly awkward given, um … all this.

Seriously … somebody call Leslie Beaumont!

UPDATE: Apparently, the whole thing started as a discussion about the current status of the reform movement in South Carolina – and ended with Sic Willie telling SC Hotline.com that he would run for governor in 2014 if no “anti-politicians” stepped up. And that tooth paste obviously isn’t fitting back into the tube …

UPDATE II: The SC Hotline interview is supposed to run on Monday, according to editor Jeffrey Sewell.

UPDATE III: Anybody wanna take the “over” on Sic eclipsing Morgan Bruce Reeves‘ vote total? We love him, but we’re not taking that action …

***

By FITSNews || A new website, CitizenHill.com – the brainchild of Columbia, S.C. native Michael Stevens – launched this week, offering clients (and the public) access to online town hall meetings.

“We want to ensure all sides in politics are covered, this isn’t just about being Republican or Democrat, it’s about having your voice heard and hearing from your elected officials,” Stevens says. “Citizen Hill is also about offering constituents and lawmakers alike more transparency in government. The benefit of this new forum will allow a quick, easy and economical way to conduct townhalls, even if it is at the last minute. All of them are recorded for future reference for constituents”

Wednesday’s online town hall will feature SCGOP Chairwoman Karen Floyd.  She will do a live town hall event on CitizenHill.com at 1:00 p.m. EDT.  To participate, just sign up at CitizenHill.com (you can sign in using your Facebook account).

Upcoming town hall events will include S.C. Reps. Gary Smith and Dan Hamilton as well as State Senator Mike Rose.

All online town hall meetings are free to the public.

UPDATE:  To participate in an online town hall just email Stevens at citizenhill@yahoo.com. Also, he’s meeting with Democrats this week to discuss their participation in the new forum.  Stevens also tells us that a larger, full-fledged social networking version of his site will launch later this year.

A few weeks ago we saw (and applied for) a job posting for a research assistant to an author working on a new book. We didn’t tell Sic Willie, of course, because he likes to think we’re stupid and plan on sticking around his little rat hole forever.

As if.

Interestingly enough, the posting turned out to be for our very own (we’re not possessive or anything) Mande, who has penned dozens of kick ass columns for FITS over the last few months.

Mande is writing a book?

“Yes, yes and more yes,” people.

What’s it about? Honestly, we don’t have a clue. And she’s not saying.

An incredulous Sic – initially taken aback by this development – quickly recovered his bearings and announced that it was a “Stalker Manifesto” in which Mande details her obsession with him and all the kinky sex she incessantly offers to provide him with.

Informed that such an explanation was “simply not plausible” (to put it kindly), Sic collapsed on the floor in the fetal position, crying “I’m losing her … I’m losing her …” and started sucking his fingers as he stared aimlessly out into space with a catatonic, brain-damaged look on his face.

True story.

Ever the jokester (at her own expense), Mande offered this explanation when reached by her fellow FITS gals for comment:

“What’s my book about? Hell if I know . . . it’s hard to tell with all those big words, snotty alliterations, and nested clauses,” she said.

Needless to say, this is gonna be one fun read …

UPDATE - “Mande Wilkes Book” is indeed two letters away from being a famouse assassin, DJ. Good point there, you speller, you.

Dear Friends,

From the whole family here at FITSNews, please accept our kindest thoughts and warmest wishes for a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday Season and Happy 2009!

Whether you’ve been naughty or nice – or were one of Sic Willie’s friends, enemies or “frenemies” – we hope this Holiday season has brought you only the gladdest of tidings and greatest of joys (not to mention everything on your gift list).

Thanks for your support of FITS and we’ll see you in the New Year!

Sincerely,

The FITS gals

WHY ARE WE EVEN WORKING, PEOPLE?

By The FITS Gals

FITSNews – June 20, 2008 - As if the high price of gas weren’t enough to get our thongs in a wad, now we learn that – in addition to our very low income and very high income taxes – income growth is slowing in the state of South Carolina. From La Socialista:

Personal income growth in South Carolina and nationwide continued to slow during the first three months of the year, according to federal data released today … S.C. income(s) rose just .9 in the first quarter compared to the previous three-month period, the government reported.

Palmetto state income had grown by 2 percent a year ago, but the slowdown matches national trends. National income growth fell to 1.1 percent in the first quarter of 2008 from 2.4 percent in the same period in 2007.

Um, yeah, that about sums it up. Guess we won’t be gettin’ bonuses this year from our sugar daddy, Sic Willie … particularly with him dropping $2,000 a night on his honeymoon accomodations.

Must be nice …

WE REMEMBER THE NINE FIREFIGHTERS LOST A YEAR AGO TODAY

By The FITS Gals

FITSNews – June 18, 2008 – One year ago today, South Carolina suffered a monumental tragedy as nine firefighters lost their lives in a major blaze at a West Ashley furniture store.

Today, we’d like to remember those heroes and their families, and send them our thoughts and prayers. According to the New York Times:

“It was the worst loss of life for American firefighters since the terror attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.”

The Charleston Post and Courier has a heartwarming one-year anniversary section commemorating the tragedy this morning.

The paper also talks to Art Wittner about Station 16, reporting:

Amid heartache, uncertainty and divisiveness, this proud Fire Department has been forced to shed its hard-charging, tradition-bound ways and become a modern outfit that places a premium on firefighters’ lives. That has meant a host of changes for the men on the front lines, many of whom are still deeply wounded from losing nine of their own.

Additionally, the Post and Courier has a multimedia section with photos and videos here.

FORMER PRESIDENTIAL YACHT BERTHED IN CHARLESTON

By The FITS Gals

FITSNews – June 17, 2008 – So, yeah, the FITS Gals are a bit jealous … while our dear leader is away on honeymoon, we’re stuck here in the office. And when Sic Willie sent us photos of his honeymoon suite, we felt inclined to investigate. Is he really on a honeymoon?

Well, the answer is yes, and we think he’s on the Innisfail – the former presidential yacht currently parked in Charleston harbor. From the Post and Courier:

The yacht, commissioned in 1939 for an Irish captain of Chicago meat-packing, is one of 80 or so vessels designed by John Trumpy, a legendary German-American naval architect. While the Innisfail was dwarfed by the fiberglass monuments to capitalism tethered nearby at the City Marina, its 92-foot hull represents the Learjet of its day: a lavish plaything of the very rich.

The yacht has reportedly been used by former Presidents Truman, Eisenhower and Kennedy and many world dignitaries. According to another source, “Frank Lynch, the owner of six Cactus Car Wash locations bought the yacht for $1.5 million and spent another $1.5 million bringing the 92-foot yacht back to her former glory adding a new deck and roof and antiques.”

The yacht rents out for $800/hour. Lucky bastard.

UPDATE: To see photos of the fully restored yacht, visit the Post and Courier’s photo gallery.

FOLLOW JAMES BOND’S ADVICE AND TAKE A BATH INSTEAD

By The FITS Gals

FITSNews – June 17, 2008 – True, we probably won’t have jobs when Sic Willie gets back and discovers we put a naked picture of Daniel Craig up on his blog! Oh well, just like Sic’s “breast exam awareness” efforts, we are doing it for a good cause – specifically, shower safety.

From FoodConsumer.org:

The title of the report: “Volatile Vinyl – The New Shower Curtain’s Chemical Smell” may be deemed alarmist by some sceptical critics, but its content should be nothing to ignore. The 44-page report summarizes a two-part study carried out on plastic shower curtains purchased from Bed Bath and Beyond, Kmart, Sears, Target and Wal-Mart. The report provides some detailed insight into the nature of this type of curtains and lists the various chemicals and harmful elements contained which can be dangerous to our health.

For further clarification, the PVC shower curtains were tested for two things, the concentrations of chemicals involved in the make-up of these curtains and the volatile organic compounds (VOC) present when unpacked. These volatile organic compounds are released into the atmosphere after these curtains are unpacked and hung up.

Volatile organic compounds? Yikes! Looks like baths are back, baby … particularly if there’s a yummy James Bond hunk waiting in yours!

THANK YOU READERS!

By the FITS Gals

FITSNews – June 16, 2008 - Before we could drunk-dial NotVeryBright in excitement, we thought we would post our latest readership figures. No, we don’t have low self-esteem, we’re just really excited about all that FITSNews has accomplished this year and we’re very thankful to our ever-growing readership!

So far this year, FITSNews has pretty much knocked it out of the park, drawing well over 200,000 visitors a month. Which equates to more than 2 million a year.

A few other interesting nuggets: the majority of our readers are from South Carolina and they visit the site directly or via referrals or links from other sites or blogs. We also beat all the other Palmetto blogs (and most of the mainstream media) in terms of our burgeoning traffic, which we attribute to the fact we’re so humble and circumspect all the time.

Of course it’s only going to get better … and bigger. In just a few weeks, for example, we’ll be unveiling our brand spankin’ new website, which Sic Willie promises will feature explosions, girls shooting laser beams at each other and lots of maple syrup being dripped all over people, among other cool bells and whistles.

We’ll also be adding more promotional items to our storefront and welcoming additional columnists to our growing stable of “guilty parties.” And for those of you interested in advertising, we’d love to bring you on board when our new site launches next month … we’re even offering special “resistance is futile” rates for newcomers.