J.C. Penney will lay off 2,000 workers and close thirty-three stores across the county, the retail giant announced this week.

The shuttering of nearly three percent of its stores (and 1.7 percent of its workforce) marks the first widespread closures initiated by J.C. Penney in over a dozen years – and will save the company an estimated $65 million in 2014.

“As we continue to progress toward long-term profitable growth, it is necessary to re-examine the financial performance of our store portfolio and adjust our national footprint accordingly,” the company’s CEO said in a statement.

Sheesh … really? Once … just once could one of these big shot executives come out and say “you know what? we didn’t do as well as we though we were going to do last quarter so we’re firing some people and closing some stores.”

Seriously … the store probably could have saved three or four of those jobs by dispatching the PR hacks who conjured up that little bit of verbal obfuscation.

Like Wall Street investors are going to look at anything beyond the raw numbers …

Anyway, J.C. Penney follows in the footsteps of Macy’s, which laid off 2,500 workers last week. Oh, and then there’s Sears.