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#ObamaFail Website: “Give Us A Month”

The Death Star is about to become fully operational, people … U.S. President Barack Obama’s socialized medicine website will be ready to inflict maximum damage on the American economy beginning on December 1, according to Jeffrey Zients – Obama’s former budget manager who has been tapped as an emergency “Mr. Fix-It”…

The Death Star is about to become fully operational, people …

U.S. President Barack Obama’s socialized medicine website will be ready to inflict maximum damage on the American economy beginning on December 1, according to Jeffrey Zients – Obama’s former budget manager who has been tapped as an emergency “Mr. Fix-It” for the broken site.

“By the end of November, HealthCare.gov will work smoothly for the vast majority of users,” Zients said Friday. “The HealthCare.gov site is fixable. It will take a lot of work, and there are a lot of problems that need to be addressed.”

Specifically, Zients said a new “general contractor” would be called in to oversee the site’s repair.

“These are bugs that prevent the software from performing the way it’s supposed to work,” he said. “There’s a punch list of fixes, and we’re going to punch them out one by one.”

Awesome!

Now we will “witness the fire power of this fully armed and operational battle station.”

Congressional hearings on the broken Death Star – a.k.a. Healthcare.gov – were held this week by Republicans eager to discuss something other than their latest unconditional surrender to the Obama administration.

Contractors called to testify blamed the government for imposing additional conditions on the project and failing to adequately test the site.

Government then sat there with a not-so-bright look on its face …

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37 comments

shifty henry October 25, 2013 at 3:49 pm

ooo-tay ……

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RHood2 October 25, 2013 at 4:46 pm

Bad analogy FITS. The Second Death Star was a shitkicker. Had a fatal flaw. But the GOP isn’t the Rebel Alliance.

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Smirks October 25, 2013 at 5:00 pm

Two week shutdown and near-miss with debt ceiling over Obamacare, which ended up amounting to zero change, and Republicans are still focused on political witch hunts in the hearings to do as much damage as they can to the ACA.

http://news.yahoo.com/video/frank-pallone-calls-obamacare-hearings-183627245.html

Deficits? Jobs? NSA? Who gives a shit about that? We have to keep trying to kill health care reform, despite 700,000 successful applications thus far, because of website issues for a federal exchange being run for states that didn’t want to actually set up their own. Of course, Jim DeMint touted this very strategy on this very site: pile the burden of running as much of the states’ exchanges on the federal government as possible in order to impair its implementation.

One only has to look to Texas as Rick Perry closes the state’s high risk insurance pool and urges people to sign up for health insurance via the ACA to realize that even the GOP understands that reform is a better deal for their constituents than they are willing to admit.

https://www.texastribune.org/2013/10/17/texas-prepares-shutter-high-risk-insurance-pool/

And while Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul will love to tell you how the ACA sucks, their own state is running its exchange quite well:

http://www.kentucky.com/2013/10/21/2887763/kentucky-health-care-enrollment.html

A damn shame they aren’t advocating states build their own exchanges too. I think deep down they know this reform will ultimately work, but they want to do everything they can so that it doesn’t.

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johnq October 25, 2013 at 5:59 pm

Not a word from republicans when weapons systems like the F-35 are over budget and years behind schedule. But oh my fucking god something that allows millions access to affordable heath care and the republicans hop up and down and have a fucking hissy fit.

Do us all a favor fucktards and get over it! No matter how hard you stamp your little footsies or hold your breath Obamacare will be implemented. You lose!!

FUCK YOU!!

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Jackie Chiles October 25, 2013 at 6:11 pm

Just so we’re clear, an F-35 is infinitely more complex than a website to buy health insurance. To moronic democrats like you building a website is just as difficult as building a machine that can fly faster than sound, not be detected by advanced enemy detection systems, and still be able to blow things up from thousands of feet in the sky while travelling faster than sound.

But yeah, entering some pricing information into a computer system is pretty much the same thing.

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Tom October 25, 2013 at 6:30 pm

Good try, but you are off base here. While its true an F35 is more complicated than a website that’s not the point. The point is with both projects you have a budget and a completion date. Presumably the contractor who is bidding on the project knows how complicated it is, has a reasonable estimate of how long it will take, and how much it will cost, and resources are allocated accordingly.
So the point is well taken that when a project to build a plane goes both epically over budget, and takes epically longer to complete than originally planned, no one complains. Because even though its the exact same thing, its not a blow to the other side.

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idcydm October 25, 2013 at 7:42 pm

But the President didn’t tell us when the F-35 would take off but did tell We the People when the web site would.

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? October 25, 2013 at 8:24 pm

I had a website designer that works for BC& BS tell me last night that he thinks it will be impossible to successfully integrate the data systems of 40+ insurance companies with the government site in the context of accurate rates.

I asked him again, “Impossible?”

I’m skeptical of that claim because the government has unlimited money with which to accomplish its goals, he didn’t back away one bit and said “Impossible.”

We shall see, but given his background and employer I lend his opinion a lot of credibility.

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idcydm October 25, 2013 at 9:45 pm

In other words, FUBAR.

Jackie Chiles October 28, 2013 at 9:15 am

Doesn’t ehealthinsurance already do that?

? October 28, 2013 at 12:07 pm

Don’t really know. Assuming it’s a brokerage I’m guessing they don’t rep. 40 companies…probably similar to a Lending Tree model where the pick/negotiate with a subset and then there’s incentives for both sides to try to integrate.

Obviously that’s not the Obamacare model aside from the subsidy calculations that must be integrated additonally…whic ehealthinsurance doesn’t have to do.

Just the layers on that integration are huge….Medicare & IRS databases alone are very large before you get to 40 different actuarial tables and their associated data.

shifty henry October 25, 2013 at 9:32 pm

To LtCol Ventura,

Sir, I am DJ Baker and I would appreciate it if you could tell me what it takes to be an F-16 fighter pilot of the USAF. What classes should I take in high school to help the career I want to take later in my life. What could I do to get in the academy.

Sincerely
DJ Baker

—–End of Original Message—–

Subject: FW: Anybody want to help this poor kid from Cyberspace?
From: Lt Col Ventura

Dear DJ,

Obviously, through no fault of your own, your young, impressionable brain has been poisoned by the superfluous, hyped-up, “Top Gun” media portrayal of fighter pilots. Unfortunately, this portrayal could not be further from the truth. In my experience, I’ve found most fighter pilots pompous, back-stabbing, momma’s boys with inferiority complexes, as well as being extremely over-rated aeronautically. However, rather than dash your budding dreams of becoming a USAF pilot, I offer the following alternative.

What you REALLY want to aspire to is the exciting, challenging, and rewarding world of TACTICAL AIRLIFT.

And this, young DJ, means one thing – the venerable, workhorse C-130! I can guarantee no fighter pilot can brag that he has led a 12-ship formation down a valley at 300 ft above the ground, while trying to interpret a 9-line to a new DZ, avoiding pop-up threats, and coordinating with AWACS, all while eating a box lunch, with the engineer in the back taking a piss and the navigator puking in his trash can!

I tell you, DJ, TAC Airlift is where it’s at. Where else is it legal to throw tanks, HMMWVs, and other crap out the back of an airplane, and not even worry about it when the chute doesn’t open and it torpedos the General’s staff car! No where else can you land on a 3,000′ dirt strip, kick a bunch of ammo and stuff off the ramp without even stopping, then take off again before range control can call to tell you you’ve landed on the wrong LZ!

And talk about exotic travel-when C-130s go somewhere, they GO somewhere (usually for 3 months, unfortunately). This gives you the opportunity to immerse yourself in the culture enough to give any local population a bad taste in their mouths, not something those strat-lift pilots can do from their airport hotel rooms!

As far as recommendations for your course of study, I offer these. Take a lot of math courses. You will need all the advanced math skills you can muster to facilitate the calculation of per diem rates around the world, and when trying to split up the crew’s bar tab so that the co-pilot really believes he owes 85% of the whole thing.

Health sciences are important, too. You will need a thorough knowledge of biology to make those educated guesses of how much longer you can drink beer before the tremendous case of the shits catches up to you from that meal you ate at that place that had the belly dancers in some God-forsaken foreign country whose name you can’t even pronounce!

Social studies are also beneficial. It is important for a good TAC Airlifter to have the cultural knowledge to be able to ascertain the exact location of the nearest titty bar in any country in the world, then be able to convince the local authorities to release the loadmaster after he offends every sensibility of the local religion and culture.

A foreign language is helpful, but not required. You will never be able to pronounce the names of the NAVAIDs in France, and it’s much easier to ignore them and go where you want to anyway.

A study of geography is also paramount. You will need to know the basic location of all the places you’ve been when you get back from your TDY and are ready to stick those little pins in that huge world map you’ve got taped to you living room wall, right next to that gigantic wooden giraffe statue and beer stein collection.

Well, DJ, I hope this little note inspires you. And by the way, forget about that Academy thing. All TAC Airlifters know that there are waaay too few women and too little alcohol there to provide a well-balanced education.

A nice, big state college would be a much better choice.
Good luck and see you on the SKE scope!

Maj. Lowenfast

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The Colonel October 26, 2013 at 5:49 am

Classic – almost makes me want to join the Air Farce. Having been some of that “…other crap [thrown]out the back of an airplane…” on occasion I can assure you most of it is true!

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shifty henry October 26, 2013 at 8:13 am

Thanks, glad you appreciate it and hope some other vets enjoy it. We all have some great stories. By the way, did you know about the new plan for joining the military? Enlistees will be assigned to a service based on one final test to be given by a psychiatrist. The enlistee will be shown two photos of naked women – one is a gorgeous world-class beauty and the other is an old hag too unbelievable to describe. The enlistee is asked which one would he spend the night with.
If he answers——
1) the beautiful girl – Navy
2) the ugly hag – Army
3) both – Marines
4) neither – Air Force

Ass Blow October 25, 2013 at 7:49 pm

You won’t need a prostrate exam because your head is already
up your delusional ass!!!

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Elea Phat In The Room October 25, 2013 at 7:52 pm

Amen!!!

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idcydm October 25, 2013 at 6:26 pm

At present as bad as this web site is a person would have to be a fool to input personal information.

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sweepin October 25, 2013 at 8:26 pm

Well then, I can name at least one regular fool. Yep, yep.

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Thomas October 25, 2013 at 6:33 pm

1) Elderly New Yorkers are in a panic after getting notices that insurance companies are booting their doctors from the Medicare Advantage program as a result of the shifting medical landscape under ObamaCare.

2) The two main contractors who built the inner workings of the Obamacare website told Congress the government never tested the parts together until days before the deadline. When testing did begin, the system failed in a test of just 200 people.

3) Health-care premiums in Wisconsin will almost double under Obamacare, compared with their current rates, according to a report from the MacIver Institute.

4) A Health and Human Services official involved in the preparation of the Affordable Care Act says the administration stopped issuing proposed rules for several months before the 2012 general election, causing delays as contractors, states and insurance companies awaited guidance to move forward. And his IRS crushed political opponents without approving their 501 non-profit applications. Did the Democrats steal the 2012 election?

5) Vigo County Indiana had to workers cut worker’s hours to below 30 because they cannot afford to offer health care to every employee in their school district because Obamacare is costing them 6 million dollars more for healthcare.

This bill must be defunded and repealed before it is implemented. It should be replaced with a national plan like federal workers get. In fact, federal worker’s paychecks should be garnished with a 6% tax from their paychecks to be appropiated to the uninsured to pay their group rate under my new plan. They can get an offsetting tax credit when they file for income taxes. The now insured must pay the same deductible that is offered to federal workers in their healthcare plan. The now insured can see the same doctors and dentists that federal workers see in their healthcare plan. If we do not repeal and replace, Generation X and Generation Y are the ones who will be eviscerated, skinned alive with penalties, huge deductibles, exorbitant fees and less choices for their families and workplace when it matters most, in times for surgeries, congenital diseases, and emergencies! On top of crushing student loan debt and unemployment.

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johnq October 25, 2013 at 9:11 pm

The republicans will not support such a plan. This is why Obama went with the Heritage Foundations plan that Romney implemented in Mass. He thought republicans would back this but unfortunately the rethugs couldn’t handle a black man being in charge so obstruction has been the game plan since.

Those who had their doubts about this republican plan implemented by Obama now know it is the best they will be able to pass at this time. Once the teafucks implode from their ignorance and stupidity it will be time to revisit single payer plans.

First priority is helping the repukes finish their implosion. Give them rope just like the shutdown and watch them destroy themselves. I haven’t enjoyed myself so much in years.

GOD I LOVE IT!! Fuck the traitor republicans and damn them to hell!!

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nitrat October 25, 2013 at 8:20 pm

I love the videos that some of the more fair and balanced cable news channels have been running of several the GOP politicians who are on the attack this week (like that idiot Joe Barton from Texas who apologized to BP for them being blamed for their oil spill), who were pleading for bipartisan support while all the monumental glitches – yes, they called them glitches – that happened with Bush’s Medicare D rollout that affected a for a much larger and much more vulnerable segment of the population.
And, once again, the VA is the only socialized medicine we have in this country.

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euwe max October 26, 2013 at 12:24 am

It cost the country 120,000 jobs and 24 billion dollars for the tea party to postpone it for 0 months… you should be happy to postpone it for free.

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Ted Nolan October 26, 2013 at 9:16 am

From where do those number come?

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euwe max October 26, 2013 at 5:25 pm

From where do those numbers come?
——
An excellent example of how to know you’re in South Carolina.

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The Colonel October 26, 2013 at 2:11 am

Of course, it’s not an issue that this roll out turned out to be a predictable TRAIN WRECK because the contract was of course competitively bid, and the company that won has an exemplary record of building website and we all know that Madam Sebelius was an expert in web site design project management.

Wait, what – Sebelius has a track record of screwing up web site roll outs?!? She had already screwed one up at the GAO and any number of them while “gubernor” of Kansas?!? http://dailycaller.com/2013/10/23/lawmakers-sebelius-failed-at-government-website-projects-prior-to-serving-in-obama-administration/

And now we learn that a classmate of Moochelle Obama is a VP at the
company that won the bid to screw up er, uhm “build” the Obamacare website. http://dailycaller.com/2013/10/25/michelle-obamas-princeton-classmate-is-executive-at-company-that-built-obamacare-website/

Anyone who still supports this program is a fool. It would have been far cheaper and served more people to have just expanded Medicaid – that at least would have served the “poor and indigent” who might actually need some “gubamint hep” with their healthcare. It would have been even cheaper to simply give every citizen $3,000 to purchase their own health care with. We’d be better off with Wal-Mart running our healthcare system, their website works and they do have the lowest prices.

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shifty henry October 26, 2013 at 6:46 am

As you refer to it as a train wreck, which it is turning out to be true, the masters of disaster are turning their blind eyes to the reality of current and future consequences.
They are the reincarnation of historical figures from the 20’s and 30’s who were obsessed with their authority and power. Much more could be said by folks more knowledgeable and educated than Shifty.

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shifty henry October 26, 2013 at 8:42 am

one for the weekend—

—————————–

Now this message for America’s most famous athletes: Someday you may be invited to fly in the backseat of one of your country’s most powerful fighter jets. Many of you
already have-John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get
this opportunity, let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity….Move to Guam.
Change your name. Fake your own death. Whatever you do, do not go. I know. The
U.S. Navy invited me to try it.

I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast! I should’ve known when they told me
my pilot would be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach. Whatever you’re thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He’s about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer
hair, finger-crippling handshake-the kind of man who wrestles dyspeptic
alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the other way. Fast.
Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the voice of
NASA missions. (“T-minus 15 seconds and counting….” Remember?) Chip
would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake
up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting for him to say, “We have
a liftoff.”

Biff was to fly me in an F-14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 million
weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie. I
was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff
if there was something I should eat the next morning. “Bananas,” he
said. “For the potassium?” I asked. “No,” Biff said, “because
they taste about the same coming up as they do going down.”

The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast. (No call sign-like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot — but, still, very
cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had instructed. If
ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, that was it.

A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me a safety briefing and then fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would “egress” me out of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked unconscious. Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up. In minutes we were firing nose up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then
canopy-rolled over another F-14.

Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80.
It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Hell. Only without
rails. We did barrel rolls, sap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose
and dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute.
We chased another F-14, and it chased us. We broke the speed of sound. Sea was
sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph,
creating a G-force of 6.5, which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body
weight was smashing against me, thereby approximating life as Mrs. Colin
Montgomerie. And I egressed the bananas. I egressed the pizza from the night
before. And the lunch before that. I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth
grade. I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G’s, I was egressing
stuff that did not even want to be egressed. I went through not one airsick
bag, but two. Biff said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one
point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing
target and the G’s were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out of
consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to throw down.

I used to know cool. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Norman making
a five-iron bite. But now I really know cool. Cool is guys like Biff, men with
cast-iron stomachs and Freon nerves.

I wouldn’t go up there again for Derek Jeter’s black book, but I’m glad Biff
does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home
stand. A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he
and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he’d send it on a patch
for my flight suit. What is it? I asked. “Two Bags.” Don’t you dare tell Nicole.

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idcydm October 26, 2013 at 7:56 am

“By the end of November, HealthCare.gov will work smoothly for the vast majority of users,” Zients said Friday.

“for the vast majority”…it will almost there but not completely…the walking back has already started?

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Torch October 26, 2013 at 11:32 am

Just tried to sign up for NIkki’s newest credit monitoring boondoggle. Web site failed and told me to call customer support. Called and was put on hold and then cut off after waiting. Second call on hold for operator agin. Finally got through. Customer support was very good though. Both the very complicated ACA site and a very simple credit monitoring site were not ready for prime time.

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johnq October 26, 2013 at 2:04 pm

Funny I signed up the first day without a problem for the credit monitoring.

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Straight Republican October 26, 2013 at 3:22 pm

Funny,I dont understand why I should have to sign up for “credit monitoring.”

RE ELECT NIKKI!

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Torch October 26, 2013 at 3:49 pm

Must not work on Saturdays. Lol.

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Ernie October 26, 2013 at 3:24 pm

Lib, the f-35 is critical to our countries security. It allows people like you to use the “F” bomb without being executed in a public setting. Do you think all we did to make this country what it is, is just show up?

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johnq October 26, 2013 at 11:27 pm

Tard, so are the citizens of this country. Without them there is no country.

Without their health citizens can no longer defend the greatest nation on earth now can they.
Healthcare is too important to leave in the hands of brainwashed ignorant republicans whose only interest is enriching corporations.

I too celebrate the freedoms we enjoy in this country and believe me from the bottom of my heart I sincerely mean for everyone of you teabrain addled idiots to GET FUCKED!

Reply
anonymous_1 October 26, 2013 at 5:11 pm

Sure, and I got a bridge I want to sell ya!

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JJEvans October 27, 2013 at 2:55 pm

Government fucks up everything it touches.

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embraceit October 27, 2013 at 7:48 pm

But we just HAD to PASS it so we now know what’s it it…fundamental transformation is just exhilarating!

Reply

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