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In the history of YouTube, we’ve never seen 130 seconds quite like this …

According to the user who uploaded this controversial clip, the gentleman massaging himself in the video below is E. Walter Bales, a detective with the Forest Acres, South Carolina police department.

“Warning – it cannot be unseen,” the source who forwarded this to us said.

We concur …

(Click to play)

Sing it with us, everybody … “I’m a model/ you know what I mean/ and I do my little turn on the cat walk/ Yeah on the catwalk/ On the catwalk yeah/ I shake my little touche on the catwalk.”

Except no … not even Right Said Fred can right this wrong.

Anyway, calls to various Forest Acres government officials were not immediately returned. And to be honest, we can’t blame them for wanting to take a pass on this particular inquiry.

UPDATE: Oh Good God there’s another video of Bales in which he’s speaking to someone directly into the camera as he strips …

“Hi honey, this is me. Today is friday the 13th and I wanted to give you a little something to think about maybe over the weekend since we don’t get to talk to each other so much. I wanted you to know I’ve enjoyed chatting with you today, it’s been ever so fun. And I’m learning all kinds of stuff about you and I like it a lot. I just wanted you to know, that, uh, this isn’t easy, and I do expect a return sometime. I’m not going to get too carriedaway today, but I wanted you to maybe have an idea… Of how daring I can be (laughs). So with that said, I wanted to let you know that I love you and that this is awfully fun, and I want you to share in the fun too. So whenever you get ready, I’ll be more than happy (groans), to wait for you, to do some fun things with me. And if you’re willing to do that, I’ll be really really happy. So anyway I thought I’d give you a little treat to make the weekend go by a little bit better and I’ll talk to you really really soon. I love you dear, bye.”

UPDATE II:  Bales has a user page on “The Underground Sex Club” website under his own name which lists him as a 51-year-old bisexual from Forest Acres, S.C. The page includes several X-rated images.

UPDATE III: Several online forums feature entries from users claiming to be Bales’ “victims.” Hmmmm … we’re digging to see what that’s all about. 

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