North Carolina Hates Boobs

The North Carolina legislature is on the verge of passing a law banning toplessness in public.

You know … because breasts are menaces which must be stopped. And only the government of North Carolina can stop them.

Not surprisingly, it’s a “Republican” woman who is sponsoring this ridiculous legislation. Also not surprisingly, she looks like this.

WTF, Rep. Rayne Brown? Just because you bear a striking resemblance to Mr. Ed – and the vast majority of men in the Tarheel State would probably rather be impaled by prehistoric Mammoth tusks than see your breasts – why you gotta hate? Why spoil the fun for the rest of us?

Turns out Mr. Ed … err, Rep. Brown … actually has a reason for her war on boobies. Ready? It’s because she’s concerned about breast-baring womens’ rights advocates who have been protesting in Asheville, N.C. – which isn’t even in her legislative district.

So in addition to being a killjoy, this woman (assuming Austin Powers tugs on her hair and it doesn’t come off) is also fighting against people’s right to petition the government for a redress of their grievances.

While half-dressed … in somebody else’s district.

As it stands now toplessness is legal in North Carolina. If Brown’s bill passes, however, women who show off their racks could get hit with a felony charge as well as a six-month prison sentence.

Because that’s exactly what North Carolina taxpayers should be paying for … long prison sentences for felonious breast-barers.

This bill is ludicrous. Which is probably why it “appears headed for approval” according to the Associated Press.