FROM THE BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT FILE …
It’s a word that could mean any number of things. For example people frequently say “interesting” in responding to information that really isn’t. The word is also used to describe people who are, um, “special” – which applies to pretty much the entire population of ass backward South Carolina.
Whatever your definition, South Carolina has been named the most “interesting” state in the nation for politics by reporter Aaron Blake of The Washington Post. Here’s an anonymous description of the state’s political scene written by “AmandaSC …”
Andrew Jackson. John C. Calhoun. Civil War. Fort Sumter. Confederate Flag. Ben Tillman. Strom Thurmond. Lee Atwater. First in the South. McCain vs. Bush. Lindsey Graham. Fritz Hollings. Charleston. Stephen Colbert. Appalachian Trail. Andre Bauer. Mark Sanford. Jenny Sanford. Nikki Haley. Tim Scott. Jim DeMint. Alvin Greene.
Clearly South Carolina is the most interesting and has been for years. Where else can a person like Alvin Greene be connected by ‘six degrees of separation’ from statesmen like Andrew Jackson and John C. Calhoun, all by using relevant political persons/hot issues of the past 30 years? That’s right: Nowhere.
After all, the quote that has been true for the past 150 years, as stated by former congressman and anti-secessionist James Petigru in 1860: ‘South Carolina: Too small to be a republic, too large to be an insane asylum.’
Well … isn’t that “interesting.”
Or not …
Frankly, we’d have described the Palmetto State as follows …
Welcum to South Cack-i-lacky, where they put somethin’ in the water made us all (‘specially de politicians) horny as hell. It’s a great day for bumpin’ uglies (and breeding dependents) baby! Now listen here, we’re dumb as bricks, broke as jokes and fat as whales … and our big, buttered-up inbred asses all live up in trailer parks or gubmint housing with our F150s and Escalades. But while we may be lib’ral when it cums to ignorants and taters-n-gravy, we luuuuuuv dem “conservative” Republicans who keep our kids stoopid and our property, sales an income taxes high. We love them socialized medicine men, too – like Newt Gingrich and that Morman feller who was s’posed to beat our Muslim Kenyan prez-o-dint. But we ‘specially love politicians like Nikki Haley and Hugh Leatherman who bring us the jobs! Cause we can stack some boxes! And build them “mack daddy planes” that don’t seem to fly so good.
South Cack-i-lacky! Fuck a duck (we would if we could)!
Better? We thought so too …