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PALMETTO STATE MAN BUSTED STEALING INFLATABLE SEX DOLL

A South Carolina man was charged with shoplifting this week after he attempted to steal an inflatable sex doll resembling pop star Miley Cyrus.  Benjamin Greene, 22, was busted at Spencer’s Gifts in Spartanburg, S.C. after he allegedly attempted to smuggle the doll out of the store in his jacket.

WYFF TV 4 (NBC – Greenville/ Spartanburg, S.C.) referred to the doll in question as a “Blow Mylie” doll, but we think they’re talking about “Finally Mylie,” the inflatable love doll that’s engineered to anatomically resemble the 20-year-old singer/ actress.

Va-va-voom, people …

Either way, somebody’s Christmas just got substantially less merry.

Incidentally, “Finally Mylie” dolls are listed among the “favorite things” of fictitious Myrtle Beach Mermen pitcher Kenny Powers – start of HBO’s critically acclaimed series Eastbound and Down.

FITS first learned of this story from one of our attractive female readers, who in sending it our way was curious as to whether our founding editor had “fathered a child in the Upstate.”

Very funny …

UPDATE:  Here’s Greene’s mug shot …

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