… DOES NOTHING FOR US
We like the goth look … in fact there was a waitress at the Publik House restaurant in downtown Columbia, S.C. who forever cemented its allure in our minds. Pale skin, dark makeup, tight-fitting black clothes, above average fellatio … err, never mind that last part.
Anyway, one goth girl we’ve never understood is Kristen Stewart, the star of the Twilight film series. The 22-year-old actress does absolutely nothing for us … which is weird because goth usually always does something for us. In fact Stewart wore a provocative see-through to her latest movie premiere recently and ….. yawn. We’re not interested. Remotely.
Part of the problem may be that we have never gotten into the Twilight scene – which is currently on its fifth movie, Breaking Dawn – Part 2. Seriously, we have no idea what the premise of these movies is – other than a bunch of people running around in the woods turning into vampires and werewolves and biting each other.
Of course the franchise has made $2.5 billion worldwide … so there must be something to it.
The other part of the problem is that based on interviews we’ve seen of Stewart, she appears to be borderline emotionally autistic.
We’re sure Stewart is a fine person and a talented actress … we’re just not feeling it.
Although feel free to disagree …
(Click to enlarge)
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32 comments
She’s OK, but I don’t really consider her to be goth. She’s famous for playing a vampire, and often wears dark clothes, but I just don’t see her as goth.
agreed.
Remember Linda Fiorentino in Visionquest?
Stewart has “that” whatever that is. I think she’s hot.
If you get a chance to catch her in an interview on one of the late night talkshows, you’ll see it.
In a guy, it would probably be referred to as “brooding and mysterious,” but there’s more to it than that.
I haven’t seen more than just a few minutes of one of the Twilight movies on TV. It’s there too, but it shows a little more when you see her in real life in an interview.
Just checked IMDb.com and it turns out it’s two words: “Vision Quest.” A 1985 flick every guy who likes hot, dark-haired women of the mysterious variety should see. You will thank me.
For Fiorentino fans, “The Last Seduction” is the one to see. A bit different than her “Men in Black” role.
….. thanks, I have it in my permanent collection. It’s a great movie which I usually share with a second date (so hot!).
I think as a person away from a camera, she would probably be really cool to talk to. I would totally do her. She kind of makes me think of a friend of mine that I would also totally do. But, alas, I’m married. Won’t be doing Kristen or that friend of mine.
If you are married, odds are you aren’t doing anybody.
…. what’s your point?
what are you talking about, Andy? I got some just this month.
Nobody, you just got some this month because its Thanksgiving. Next month is Christmas, so you will probably score one more time in 2012. Please get back with us on February 01st and let us know how you are doing.
Your wife might have a girlfriend. You just never know, dude.
I think you have to be at least 35 to know what goth means. I don’t know if they call it that anymore.
There’s goth, and then there’s “fashionably goth.”
She’s not ugly, but not pretty either. To me, she’s just bland. Maybe it is the fact that I went to the first movie with my wife and I wanted to poke my eyeballs out 10 minutes into the thing. My ears were bleeding too. Painful. One of the absolute worst movies I’ve ever seen.
Yep, bland.
Must be the “biting” thing that has Will worried.
Yeah, the sucking works, but not the biting.
Now that’s hot. http://o.onionstatic.com/images/8/8624/original/445.jpg?4028
Generally pretty but not remarkably so.
Attractive eyes, cute nose, luscious mouth.
Gorgeous hair.
No hips; no shape to her body; resembles 18” Southern pine board from Lowe’s. 10 points.
TB – tiny boobs. 10 points.
Flat bottom. 10 points.
Skinny overall. 5 points.
Acceptable thighs and calves.
Outfit ugly in the extreme.
65. D
You are too kind here, Insect.
This girl? Naaah.
I’d rather do a Kardshian and I’d never do a Kardashian.
….. how ’bout a Kardashian doing you!
Is she lesbian? Looks like she had all female fans!
I love large asses but Kim Kardashian’s larger than an indian medicine ball, larger than many black mamas’, simply INXS. I consider it repulsive. It’s her tits that she’s got going for her. And that deep throat.
this chick is average in every respect. which is fine, of course. unless you’re going to hold her out to the world as “hot.” then i just have to laugh.
of course, the audience for these movies isn’t terribly interested in her, is it?
alas, hollywood simply gives us nothing.
I thought “Breaking Dawn” was a porn until, my kids straightened me out on that. I still think a porn about Dawn would be better.
Producing a “Breaking Dawn” where vampires run a meth lab would probably be amazingly good.
You’re thinking of Boinking Dawn.
You’d harm your Johnson on this chick. All bones. You know.
The other part of the problem is that based on interviews we’ve seen of Stewart, she appears to be borderline emotionally autistic.
Which makes her perfect for starring in Twilight, I’m sure.
Please turn this tumbler.
Actually, the movies are very interesting. More or less she is a VAMP TRAMP in the movies and real life. Personally, I would love to spank her all night in delight.
Eyes wide shut?