By fitsnews – August 28, 2012
IMAGES, CAPTIONS FROM THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION
We didn’t make the drive to Tampa, Florida for this year’s GOP convention for several reasons. First – as this post should make abundantly clear – we’re not Republicans. Why on earth would we want to convene with them? Second, we reserved our trip to the Sunshine State this year for our founding editor’s fantasy baseball draft back in March.
And yes … we drafted another crappy team.
Third? Our founding editor’s wife – the lovely Mrs. Sic Willie – apparently keeps Sic’s balls in the same place she keeps his car keys (we’ll be sure to let you know if we ever locate either). Anyway, via the magic of social media (and our network of always reliable sources) … we’ve been keeping abreast of the latest happenings at the convention. In fact it’s almost like we’re there … minus the self-importance, inebriation and sexually transmitted diseases, of course.
We hope to bring our readers updates like this throughout the week … so stay tuned!
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THE DOOFUS
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S.C. Rep. Nathan Ballentine on the big screen in Tampa … showing off his “O” face?
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THE ROCK STAR
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Nikki Haley … she’s kind of a big deal (especially in the rear).
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THE CREEPER
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Um … why hello, Comptroller General Richard Eckstrom. Lookin’ for “friggin’ Mormons?”
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THE HOTTIES
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Ahhh … now THAT’s more like it.
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THE SCRIBE
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Gina Smith of The (Columbia, S.C.) State newspaper … is she thinking of a question to ask Nikki Haley? Wait … probably not. Of course Smith is responding to her snub by continuing to heap praise on the governor. “I continue to be impressed with Haley as a public speaker,” Smith wrote recently. “She’s vibrant, engaging and quick on her feet. It’s easy to see why the national Republican Party has singled her out as a rising star.” Awwww … get a room, you two.
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OSMOSIS?
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S.C. Treasurer Curtis Loftis has lost a lot of weight lately … is this where he’s been stashing it?
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POT ELEPHANT?
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If only this was the Libertarian Party convention …
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SOUTH CAROLINA!
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Our state’s name is spelled correctly! Thank you to whichever non-South Carolinian did that …
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POTENTIAL HECKLER?
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S.C. Senator Larry Grooms has been among the most vocal critics of Nikki Haley’s “Savannah River Sellout …” which comes full circle at this convention.
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WORKIN’ IT
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Sic Willie’s partner in crime Nancy Mace of The Mace Group … “who ya textin’ momma?”
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Got a pic you’d like us to feature? Email our founding editor at w@fitsnews.com or submit it anonymously over on our tip line (or our contact page).
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