Kim Jong-un, the heir to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il, has launched an artillery strike against South Korea that has inflamed tensions between the two peninsular nations and put leaders around the globe on the highest diplomatic and military alert.
The unprovoked attack – which killed a pair of South Korean Marines and wounded at least 14 others – was apparently launched in an effort to mobilize the North Korean military behind the 26-year-old dictator-in-waiting.
In true Adolf Hitler style, Jong-un’s government attempted to place the blame for the incident on South Korea.
“The South Korean enemy, despite our repeated warnings, committed reckless military provocations of firing artillery shells into our maritime territory near Yeonpyeong island,” a statement from the North Korean defense ministry read.
North Korea’s statement went on to state that its leaders ”will continue to make merciless military attacks with no hesitation if the South Korean enemy dares to invade our sea territory by 0.001 mm. It is our military’s traditional response to quell provocative actions with a merciless thunderbolt.”
Sheesh … these guys are every bit as dramatic as the friggin’ Iranians.
“The United States strongly condemns this attack and calls on North Korea to halt its belligerent action,” reads a statement from the White House, which commands 25,000 troops currently stationed in South Korea.
Another 50,000 U.S. civilians currently reside in South Korea – most of them in the capitol of Seoul.
Earlier this week Kim Jong-il revealed that North Korea has been operating a modern uranium enrichment facility with at least 1,000 centrifuges. The existence of this facility – right next to an abandoned plutonium reactor – had been widely-suspected, although American intelligence failed to pick up on it.