Does Your Fantasy Baseball League Drug Test?

By FITSNews || Does your fantasy baseball league test for banned substances?

No … not steroids, because that’s obviously not going to do anything to help a bunch of out-of-shape white boys sitting around some swanky conference room table with their laptops and fantasy draft cheat sheets (even if one of the “managers” is a Hall-of-Fame shortstop).

We’re talking about regular drugs – you know, like cocaine, ecstasy, or crystal meth.

Because based on what we saw of goings-on at the annual Great Santini League draft – held last weekend at the five-star Sanctuary resort on Kiawah Island – let’s hope they don’t.

Which league does test its managers for drugs?  That would be Major League Baseball … and speaking of, it was revealed Wednesday that Ron Washington, manager of the Texas Rangers, tested positive for cocaine use last July.

“I did make a mistake and I regret that I did it,” Washington told SI.com. “I am really embarrassed and I am really sorry.”

Sheesh … a “mistake?”  “Embarrassed?” “Sorry?”

You’re probably assuming at this point that we’re about to launch into some anti-drug rant and say that the team should have thrown Washington to the wolves. Bzzzzzzzzz! Wrong.  That’s not how we roll around here, people.

Texas stuck with Washington, and good for them.  They should have.  In fact, according to our hierarchy of deontological ethics, we’re not even sure doing a little blow from time to time even registers.

Now don’t get us wrong, we are as hard core a group of baseball purists as you’re going to find – especially when it comes to sanctimoniously moralizing (Giamatti-style) against the steroid abusers who have robbed Mudville of nearly all its joy.  Those guys should be tested every day as far as we’re concerned.

But what the hell is wrong with a manager enjoying some candy in his spare time?

Sheesh … legalize it, we say.  All of it.

You want a really poor managerial decision?

Our founding editor took Milwaukee Brewers first baseman Prince Fielder with the tenth pick of the first round – a great pick, obviously, but Sic Willie blew his 2010 season before it even began by trading Fielder (along with Arizona second baseman Kelly Johnson) to the reigning Santini League Champions for Derrek Lee and Ben Zobrist.  In doing so, he explicitly ignored the sage advice of a fellow manager who warned him “rule number one of fantasy baseball: NEVER trade with the guy who wins all the time – he knows more than you do.”

Damn … it’s gonna be another one of those years isn’t it?

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The Sanctuary