Lady Antebellum: Cut Us Some Slack

By FITSNews || Damn you, country music.

First, you Taylor Swift-boat us with a catchy single about us “belonging to you,” and now you deliver with expertly-layered pop sensibility another sucker punch disguised as a “crossover” hit – saying you “need us now.”

WTF?

Have we not made it perfectly clear that we hate your twangy-twangy blah blah?

Was there some confusion when we lumped you, by genre, into the “atonal abortion” category?

What part of “we’re cool with any inter-genre musical experimentation as long as it does NOT involve country music” did you not understand?

Seriously, what part of “we don’t care” escaped your attention as you peddle your sappy, cookie cutter song-smithing about drivin’ rusted out pick up trucks over your grandma’s leg (and then your dog’s leg) cause you got drunk fishin’ with the boys ‘cept you wuddn’t so much fishin’ wit ‘dem boys as you was bangin’ Linda Lou in the barn with the thunder rollin’ and the lightnin’ strikin’ and what not (tarnation!) … and God forbid you forget to throw in a reference to your heart bein’ broke cause Linda Lou done left your overall-wearin’ farmer ass – along with that inbred baby-makin’ machine you call a wife (who was bangin’ Billy Bob the whole time – HA)!

Look, we don’t live in mobile homes and we’ve never experimented sexually with any of our relatives – which means we’re NOT country music fans.

So again, country music, WTF?

Why are you producing songs we actually like?!?!?

Oh yeah … that’s just the “making of” video for the song “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum. Here’s the actual video.

Incidentally, we’re told that “Lady Antebellum” is the name of the whole band, and that the sweet-tongued angel pictured above is 23-year-old Hillary Scott, one of its lead singers/ songwriters.

The band formed in Nashville in 2006 and … Jesus … hold on a minute … what are we doing?

Are we actually writing about a country music act?

Someone … stop the insanity.

UPDATE: Johnny Cash ain’t country, people. For the record, Johnny Cash is Johnny Cash. He is his own genre.

Comments