In case you’re new to the South Carolina political system, a surprisingly-high percentage of the legislation passed by our bass-ackwards legislative branch of government involves memorializing redneck kids who die in bizarre ways.
Seriously, we have a law for practically every redneck (double) name in the book – and if you want a law named after your redneck child, then by all means continue to pay them little to no mind as they engage in risky behavior with all-terrain vehicles, boats, shotguns and farm animals.
Yet while knee-jerk legislation like “Billy Bob’s Law” – which makes it a crime in South Carolina to drive an all-terrain vehicle into a boat while blasting a chicken’s head off with a shotgun – indeed represent nice memorials, passing laws with an eye to the future is what gives our state’s inbred legislators such a headache.
Anyway, in a rare departure from the knuckle-dragging norm, the latest “knee-jerk” legislation to be filed by South Carolina’s Bubba Branch isn’t named for “Mabel Sue” – an Anderson, S.C. girl who died tragically while chugging moonshine and making improvised explosive devices out of her Barbie dolls.
No, this law is named for the Latin lover of S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford, Maria Belen Chapur.
“Maria’s Law,” is a bill introduced by Senate President Glenn McConnell that would grant South Carolina’s Lt. Governor the authority to assume supreme executive authority during an emergency if the governor hasn’t been heard from in twelve hours.
No really …
Prior to assuming full authority to act in an emergency, the Lieutenant Governor must verify with the Governor’s staff and the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division or any public officials or employees designated or assigned by the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division to protect or provide security for the Governor that the Governor has not been in communication for a period of twelve or more hours and that attempts to contact the Governor have not received a response or indication of the Governor’s whereabouts or availability.
After receiving this verification, the Lieutenant Governor must immediately file with the Office of the Secretary of State a proclamation declaring his full authority to act in the emergency. The proclamation is effective upon issuance and remains in full force and effect as provided by general law and the State Constitution.
Sanford’s office wasn’t immediately available for comment, although sources at the State House say that the governor was overheard muttering “those cock-blocking motherf*ckers” as he read the text of McConnell’s bill for the first time.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Duh. Billy Bob and Mabel Sue are not real. And we made up that “cock-blocking” thing …
By Todd December 15, 2009 at 3:41 pm
The legislators have too much time on their hands. Does McConnell have a fo’ real job or does he just live on his $17,500 a year making up stuff like this?
By Seriously December 15, 2009 at 4:10 pm
What this clause from Article VI, Section 11 of the State Constitution isn’t enough?
‘In the case of the temporary disability of the Governor and in the event of the temporary absence of the Governor from the State, the Lieutenant Governor shall have full authority to act in an emergency.’
Or is this yet another attempt for Senator McConnell to deflect attention from himself and the closet?
By southernmapart December 15, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I really wish South Carolianians would clean out the closet.
By BIN News Editorial Staff December 15, 2009 at 9:40 pm
sic(k) willie. You hypocritical political pimp.
You helped elect Sanfraud as Governor. When it served you, you claimed credit for helping him get elected. Thanks, sic(k) willie. Our Funding Editor hopes SC can return your favor some day. People know you knew.
And you also claimed to help SC elect a prolific cocaine user as SC Treasurer. He was convicted and sent to prison. People know you knew.
And you have a CDV conviction.
Readers love to see who you support.
BIN News Editorial Staff
Flair and Balanced
By scooter December 15, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Yes, there is a pre filed bill giving the Lt. Gov. the power to step up when the Gov can not be present, or can not govern. This was the way it was before Jenny and Mark decided they would not go by the rules. When Mark went off to play soldier,(during his first term) he left JENNY in charge. Everyone thought that was very inappropriate and crazy. The funny thing is: if Mark had just told our Lt. Gov. he was going out of state this past June, and that L.G. would be in charge, Mark well may not have ever gotten caught!!! The bill is not named for Maria. Funny, Will.
By Ynot December 16, 2009 at 5:15 am
if the Governor had stayed home…….. or spilled his guts……….
if if if
By UpState Native December 16, 2009 at 9:37 am
Lets look at it another way. We are overdue for another Hugo or even a US based terrorist attack so if our Lov Gov is missing then we should have a Lt. Gov that can step up to the plate but as is there seems to have been no thought in planning ahead. Heck, the Boy Scouts plan better than this with Senior Patrol Leaders then Ast SPL then Patrol Leaders so why is it such a weird idea to have a instant chain of command for who is in charge when troubled times occur.
By Carolina Sunshine December 16, 2009 at 11:20 am
I think I agree with the proposed new law. Although provisions were in place, it appears there is a need for clarity. Apparently the existing laws regarding chain of command are not clear enough, even for a Governor. I maintain that everyone who works for this Governor should just lay out of work, not call in for days, go on a vacation, then show up saying they used poor judgment and DARE him or his office to fire them. Maybe then he’d get the message.