He’s A Coke Whore, Too?

We’ve always known that our founding editor was (is) a total attention whore.  Of course he also used to be a total conventional whore (well, man-whore) – one with a legendary proclivity for bedding the finest female television anchors and reporters in the business, as well as the hottest special interest lobbyists and sexiest State House pages that the city of Importantville, S.C. had to offer.

Sure his penis may have fallen off as a result of all that boot-knockin’, but that sort of thing just comes with the territory, people.

You gotta play through that.

Having addressed the “sex,” now let’s address the drugs and rock-n-roll.

As a former wanna-be bass player, Sic’s other vice was basically anything and everything he could get his hands on that would get him high – a trend which lamentably followed him during the early stages of his brief career as a gubernatorial spokesman and political operative.

Seriously, you name the addictive chemical, chance are he’s tried it.   Especially alcoholism.  As many as twenty liquor drinks a day was nothing, people.  And of course you’ve got to balance out all that booze out with something that’ll keep you awake, right?

Exactly …

For whatever reason, though, on the night of June 26, 2006 at the Publick House bar in Columbia, S.C., Sic had some sort of epiphany.  We don’t understand it, exactly (nor does he), but everything – the drugs, the booze, all of it – just stopped.

The next day?  It was “a beautiful day, sky falls you feel like … a beautiful day.”

Providential, actually.

Anyway, Sic’s been clean as a whistle ever since, although he remains a passionate advocate for the legalization of drugs – which is just part of his libertarian streak.

Why are we telling you all this?

Well, our friends over at “What The Folks?” – one of several websites dedicated to “exposing “our founding editor – have made the not-so-subtle suggestion that Sic is the fourth target of the ongoing federal drug investigation that brought down former State Treasurer Thomas Ravenel in the summer of 2007.

For those of you who forgot that little scandal, these were Sic’s thoughts on it at the time.

So … is the rumor true?  Is Sic Willie the fourth target of the Ravenel cocaine investigation?

Yes.

There’s really no other way to say this, people, except yes, he is.  Yes, the story is true. Every word of it.

We’re embarrassed, obviously, and we’re eager to reach whatever settlement we can with the feds so that we can do our time and move on with our lives.

But there’s no denying that this is the kind of stain that doesn’t go away.

It’s one that will follow Sic Willie – and his family – forever.

Speaking of “going away,” though, it would appear that the Herculean efforts to sink this website – efforts that have been undertaken by so many prominent Palmetto politicos – have finally paid off, unless of course we’re allowed a laptop and internet connection in the federal pokey.

Which we kind of doubt.

UPDATE: Duh. We’re kidding. This rumor is 100% bunk.