The problem with publishing email forwards in a venue like this one is that they invariably “date” you … which in the 24/7 “insta-news” business is probably not a good thing.
“What? You’re just getting that email? Somebody forwarded that to me a week ago …”
New media, you see, is supposed to be “new.” Not based on some email that your parents were sending to their wine and book club lists during the Clinton administration.
Anyway, our policy has always been to publish stuff we think is worth publishing whenever it comes to us … even if that makes us a little late to the party.
So … from something we were forwarded Thursday night …
— IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
— IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
— IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.
— IF YOU CROSS THE TURKISH BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN PRISON.
BUT, IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET:
— A DRIVERS LICENSE
— A SOCIAL SECURITY CARD
— WELFARE CHECKS
— FOOD STAMPS
— AND FREE HEALTH CARE
C’mon, everybody … sing it with us …
“O Beautiful, for spacious skies …”
By follydude November 13, 2009 at 8:29 am
unless you’re Haitian.
By JR November 13, 2009 at 8:46 am
What you just got that e-mail? I got it weeks ago!
By southernmapart November 13, 2009 at 9:07 am
Whose border fence?
By Welcome! November 13, 2009 at 9:12 am
Come on! I need someone to tend to the hard labor jobs on my construction site…plain, ole Americans, even in a recession, won’t take the jobs I have available.
By Liberty For Me November 13, 2009 at 10:30 am
Why do people want to blame and focus hate towards mexicans???…Its Americans that give them food stamps,welfare.etc..This is not a complicated problem to solve.Stop welfare and all handouts..let them in the US with a VISA ID card.The people that work hard benefit the US..the others will leave.Make drugs legal and the gangs will be gone…problem solved…DUH
By Ynot November 13, 2009 at 10:30 am
don’t forget Social Security
free rent
free transportation
to change the entire country’s language
etc
etc
etc
By Pedro November 13, 2009 at 10:37 am
After we take your jobs den we do your women. Especially the blondies..hodchawowwa.
By Crooner November 13, 2009 at 10:48 am
It is a testament to the greatness of this country that people in places like Haiti will try to fashion a boat out of a car to get here and pay our taxes.
Hey Liberty: I agree with you on drugs. We’ve a much better chance of winning the war on terror than the war on drugs. We need to de-criminalize and provide treatment, which would be paid for through taxation of pot.
By Cooter Brown November 13, 2009 at 10:58 am
Th’ difference, fols, iz dat dem aforementioned Countries iz sovereign. We aint.
P.S. – Mista Crooner, WAKE-UP, Amerika no longa exists an’ da Haitians aint comin’ ova t’ pay taxes. Maybee ye aint naba bin t’ Miami…
By Crooner November 13, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Cooter:
Yeah right and all those Mexicans in my yard every Monday are on the public dole.
By OnNoNotAgain November 13, 2009 at 2:36 pm
But apart from A DRIVERS LICENSE, A SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE CHECKS, FOOD STAMPS, AND FREE HEALTH CARE, What have the Romans ever done for us?
By Cooter Brown November 13, 2009 at 3:05 pm
No, suh. I rekon dey iz on yer lawn so dey can do yer yard werk. Perhaps ye are lazy or cheep or bof. I has no way ov knowin’ dat. Hoo needs laws whin ye gots slave labour?
‘Course, I menshuned da haitisn an’ naught da Mexicanos, but why make a fuss…
My real point wuz dat dere aint no Amerika no mo. Open yer dern eyes.
By Soft Sigh From Hell November 14, 2009 at 8:46 pm
I wonder what politically connected sleazeball contractor got tens of millions of tax dollars to build that worthless fence? Five shovels full of loose dirt or five minutes of grubbing by bare hands and you are under it as if it were not there. Maybe it was the same Army Corps of Engineers contractor who built the New Orleans levees last time. Or Brown and Root, or Halliburton. If so, good thing it is not electrified. It would likely be lined with electrocuted US Border Patrolmen then.