Columbia SC “Famously Hot Air” Alert
There’s really only one thing “famously hot” about the metropolis of Columbia, South Carolina as far as we can tell, and that’s the town’s Tweet-a-Minute social butterfly and “destination marketer,” Mandi Engram.
In addition to her starring role in our founding editor’s overactive fantasy life, Engram’s job is to use social networking tools to promote a city that can’t seem to get its act together … ever … hence its ongoing identity crisis and perpetual desire to compensate for its Centuries-old mediocrity by breezing through tax dollars in pursuit of some theoretical “Buzzword Economy.”
Seriously, if you want to hear about “proactive synergies,” “dynamic level-setting,” or “enterprise immersion” (and of course pillars and pyramids, too), then this is your crowd.
If you want to see actual jobs being created, though, you’ll have to look elsewhere – although that’s not stopping these taxpayer-funded “synergizers” from continuing to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on failed, government-run “economic development” projects.
Anyway, the lovely Miss Engram recently sent us (and presumably her other 2,300 Facebook friends) an invitation to an Engenuity SC Ignite! event next Wednesday, a little get-together where – for only $25 – you can hear a bunch of taxpayer-funded “visionaries” inspire you with a “high energy, visual experience” of their plans to waste more of your tax money.
From the invite:
Columbia is on the path to becoming a next generation city and is becoming a famously hot destination for innovation, technology, arts, talent, and entrepreneurship. Who is driving this change and what role do they play in Columbia’s vision for a knowledge-based economy?
One evening with ten speakers who have 6 minutes each to create a high energy, visual experience that will inspire you to get involved. Join us as EngenuitySC IgNITE! to meet some of region’s catalysts.
First of all, your thermometer excluded, Columbia, S.C. is “famously hot” for absolutely nothing … well, maybe concrete.
In fact, according to the New York Times, the city is the “Face of the Recession,” and is currently running a multimillion dollar deficit thanks to greedy bureaucrats, corrupt politicians and general incompetence.
But these are the morons working with S.C. House Speaker Bobby Harrell and University of South Carolina President Harris Pastides to bring the “knowledge-based economy of the future to South Carolina.”
Anyway, among the “catalysts” who will be “igniting synergies” at this big gubmint boondoggle are “a world renowned leader in fuel cells who is unlocking the secrets to future fuels,” “a trailblazer in Columbia’s quest to engage bright young minds,” “a visionary redefining South Carolina’s role in the global energy economy,” and “an importer of culture with a can do spirit and one of our nation’s most promising young entrepreneurs.”
Blah f*cking blah, people.
This is nothing but a bunch of taxpayer-funded bureaucrats getting together for another taxpayer-funded circle jerk.
That sucking sound?
More of your money going down the drain …
UPDATE: By popular demand, here are a couple pictures of the lovely Ms. Engram, receiving a plate of some sort for something or the other.
Comments
By PasserBy on October 22nd, 2009 at 9:09 am
FITS:
Although she’s hot, I like your Mandi better: for equal time, we need pics of her, too.
By Wes Wolfe on October 22nd, 2009 at 9:15 am
The word is “fucking.” Last time I checked, it isn’t spelled with an asterisk.
By Frank's Interdiction on October 22nd, 2009 at 9:17 am
Bobby, Harris, and Bob are idiots. Until the schools (both K12 and higher ed) don’t suck, no one will move or “innovate” here, even with all the freakin subsidies.
As for Mandi – i’d hit it and quit it.
By StupidShouldHurtMore (SSHM) on October 22nd, 2009 at 9:23 am
Will,
I’m sincerely glad you were enduring power-wedgies on the school playground when the last supposed boondoggle in Columbia went through. You might have heard of it … 1986 … Congaree Vista?
Not everything produces an ROI in 12 months or less, Homer.
Next time you get a beer at the Saucer or the Ale House, be sure to relish in a “government boondoggle,” m’kay?
- SSHM
By Ynot on October 22nd, 2009 at 10:05 am
Trouble with above comment is no one can support these projects with consumer dollars anymore because no one is working ~duh.
Little businesses don’t hire hundreds nor thousands of people.
Foreigners for the most part ” bring their own” and or hire other foreigners. ( I am not against legal immigration for the record.)
So really the question is: how long? How long before the powers that be create some meaningful numbers with regard to the job market?
Talk is cheap and getting cheaper every day .
So how many employees does the ” Saucer” have? How many are college students? What do they make?
Same for the Ale House?
That ain’t job creation it’s pure fantasy.
By Brian on October 22nd, 2009 at 10:09 am
Sic,
I’m a fan. But this is a stretch! First of all… You can’t pin Ignite on Mandi or even solely on Engenuity… They are bringing it here, but Ignite events are held all around the country. They are essentially networking events, but I personally know small businesses owners who have been able to grow their business thanks to the information learned and relationships formed at these events.
It’s Mandi’s job to evangelize Columbia and she does it incredibly well. I’m sure she’s a bargain for the taxpayers considering the level of excellence with which she does her job.
Finally, you are not far off in your assessment of our city’s perpetual identity crisis and struggle to find its voice. That said, this “famously hot” campaign – for what it’s worth – has proven the most coherent of anything we’ve ever put out there. When viewed in simplistic terms, sure, it’s requires some suspension of disbelief, particularly for those of us who have been born and raised here… But I have numerous friends in Charlotte who have commented on the high quality of the ad campaign, a number of whom have actually visited here recently, spent there money, and had their perceptions of Columbia changed.
I’ve got your back 100% when it comes to fiscal responsibility, but tourism dollars and events that cultivate small business growth are hardly a tax-payer swindle.
Butiaintmadatcha,
b
By What? on October 22nd, 2009 at 11:02 am
Hey Brian–no, no, no, you miss the point. A genuine PR/marketing strategy to attract tourists and the like would be fine. You know, one that was based in what Columbia actually has to offer and presented it in an appealing and interesting way. But this is a campaign devoid of anything concrete, and instead built entirely on interchangable buzzwords and meaningless slogans that don’t connect with real people. “Igniting synergies” and all that probably sounds impressive and “foward thinking” to the 60 year-old dudes authorizing these projects. Especially when the one making the pitch is an attractive 20-something (”Oh hey, she’s young, hip and cute–she MUST know what will attract others like her to our city”) But it won’t work–never has, never will. It just isn’t that easy. And people aren’t that stupid.
By Brian on October 22nd, 2009 at 2:45 pm
What? – There are two different things being discussed here. Let me be clear.
Maybe you don’t see the ads because you live in Columbia, but the “Famously Hot” campaign does have substance. That line is just a slogan that appears at the end of the ads that showcase things to see and do in our city. It’s eye-catching and memorable. Any city worth anything has a decent tourism slogan. Is it gimmicky? Yes. But as a marketing professional, I can assure that it does its job.
Furthermore, the nebulous language that Sic is cites in this post comes not from the “famously hot” campaign, but is related to the Ignite event — these two things are not at all connected to each other. I cannot speak to the quality of the event that Engenuity will put on, but Ignite events have a very good reputation for success in other cities.
You’re just wrong. These things HAVE been working and they will continue to do so.
By Rebel on October 22nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
What a bunch of bollocks. I’ve never heard such utter and complete crap in my life. For city that can barely fill a pothole and hasn’t manged to install left-hand turn lights for busy downtown intersections–you know, basic services you pay taxes for–that can’t even balance it’s own budget, that is run by our very own version of Tammany Hall except they are half-witted cretins, they sure talk a bunch of malarkey. I hate those idiotic buzzwords—ok we get it, you got your marketing degree, enough already. Future fuels? ONE guy? When does the power plant open? 20-30 years from now, maybe never? I can get excited about those teleporters they’ll make one day in the future too, but until then maybe we should focus on our objective reality. One that requires police, sanitation, road crews, and water.
Otherwise, this is a Southern college town. Football, St. Patrick’s Day, and that’s about it. Athens GA is a fantastic town, and they don’t try to be what they are not, namely Atlanta. I don’t know what Columbia is trying to be–Charlotte? If that’s what you want (I think Austin TX would be a better city to emulate), then cut the tax base. If you took all the money City Council has wiped their asses with the past few years, and put it towards providing municipal services, then maybe the place wouldn’t look like Cannery Row with broken and often flooded streets, sagging ugly power lines, and aggressive panhandlers.
By bleaster on October 22nd, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I think Mandi does a solid job with the amount of enthusiasm she brings to the job. I think “Famously Hot” falls short in terms of fitting into what Columbia actually does offer, and will get worn out after awhile. That said, it is a step up from marketing efforts in the past. I think the bigger issue is, why does Columbia not have more to offer, within the construct of a solid, singular vision? Will, that’s where the argument is, not with Miss Engram.
By Matt on October 22nd, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Greenville kicks Columbia’s ass when it comes to regional buzzworthiness–just check out which city’s downtown is getting written up in regional and national media more.
By David on October 22nd, 2009 at 9:24 pm
I second Bleaster’s comment; well said.
Will, your degradation of Miss Engram (her misspelled last name in your update is the least of it) is simply shameful. Also, she loves her city and doesn’t deserve to be portrayed as a hypocrite for enthusiastically extolling its many virtues in the face of its problems.
By Katie on October 23rd, 2009 at 9:35 am
I think Mandi Engram is one the most technological savoy people that I know. Mandi has many talents but one of them is updating the social media with meetings, events, and any other networking programs that help Columbia to get put on the map. If you live in Columbia then you know that when you travel to a big city, many people may not know where Columbia, SC is. Mandi has done an amazing job knowledging the city about Columbia, the pro’s and con’s of Columbia, what you can see and do in Columbia, and everything else that may fall in the desitination marketer town. It takes a lot from someone to do what Mandi does each and every day. Her job isn’t just about being on Facebook and Twitter and whatever else you think. If you worked with Mandi then you would know that she runs up and down the hall at least once a day to deliever important information about Columbia to those that can help make this a travel destination. Maybe you should spend the day walking around with her and really seeing what she is all about and how important her job really is. There is more to Mandi than a pretty face (which is terrible that you get off on putting her picture up) You may think her job is a waste of money, but the truth is we need someone like that selling this city. Every major city has someone like this this and if we didn’t have Mandi, you would wonder why we don’t have someone out on the social media marketing helping Columbia become a travel destination. I think you need to cut her some slack and find something else to report on. There are plenty of people in Columbia who do terrible things everyday so go spend some of your useless time and report on them. Leave Mandi alone because clearly you do not know exactly what she does every day. Also Columbia isn’t a town that can’t get it’s act together. If you knew anything about Columbia and how far we have come in the last few years then you would know we are making progress. We may not be the beach, but we have a lot to offer travelors. Maybe you should spend your time in a visitor’s center and acutally do all the things that there are to do in Columbia and then you wouldn’t think we were pathetic. I dont think you understand just what the Sales People of Columbia have to do everyday to try to make this a travel destination, but we are doing a pretty darn good job with the tools we have. The next time you want to mess with Mandi, why don’t you come down here and mess with all of this. Please do yourself a favor and find some useful information to report on.