Regular readers of FITS know that our founding editor, Sic Willie, makes the vast majority of his decisions – and predictions – by consulting his “magic eight ball.”
Seriously, people … you thought there was something even remotely logical to any of this?
Unfortunately, Homeland Security frowns upon people carrying “containerized liquids” aboard domestic flights (something we learned the hard way a few years ago) – which means that whenever we travel, we’re deprived of our moral and political compass.
Now Sic can manage alright under normal circumstances, but after his detention and near imprisonment by the U.S. Capitol Police Tuesday morning in Washington, D.C., he was feeling a bit frazzled and in need of his security blanket.
In fact, the incident sent him screaming onto the National Mall in a desperate search for a replacement eight ball.
“I need an eight ball! I need an eight ball! Can anybody help me find an eight ball!”
Yeah. True story. And almost another “detention and near imprisonment.”
Anyway, Sic eventually made it to the office of one of his favorite people in all of D.C., where he was permitted to borrow her “eight ball.”
The question? “Will Sic Willie make it out of Washington, D.C. alive …”
The answer? Yeah …
Ruh-roh …
By Jonny D September 23, 2009 at 9:21 am
What!?! You were screaming multiple times about needing an “eight ball” on the National Mall. You’re lucky you were not arrested for the attempted purchase of cocaine (and on federal property no less)!
But just forget about all of that, and let Bruce school ya some harmonica…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lPzWPXhbVI
By Pat Hendrix September 23, 2009 at 9:34 am
He was told to beat it from a woman’s place of work. God, let’s hope he survives.
By southernmapart September 23, 2009 at 9:38 am
Willie, if authorities won’t allow your eight ball on board, take a set of dowsing rods.
By Steve V September 23, 2009 at 9:45 am
cocaine is a hell of a drug
By dirtbogger September 23, 2009 at 9:50 am
I got a cheesebuger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0z8QeURA8Rk
By Toyota Kawaski September 23, 2009 at 11:00 am
not the first timed you have yelled for an 8-ball
By Todd September 23, 2009 at 11:36 am
Sic: Please do not write headlines like this one: It will get BIN so excited he will start writing again if you don’t die trying to get out of DC. Chill on the headlines, dude. For our sake.
By nate September 23, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I swear… Sic reminds me more of Hunter Thompson everyday.
By Brian September 23, 2009 at 3:26 pm
So you never have to be without again, as long as you have internet access…
http://www.indra.com/8ball/front.html
By Toyota Kawaski September 23, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Nate only in the number of chemicals taken in a day
By BIN News September 23, 2009 at 9:10 pm
That’s a “magic high ball” that sic(k) willie depends on. Sadly.
By KB December 12, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Willie,
Quick question- If you were hanging out with that ridiculously hot chick in the bikini, why would you ever leave DC?
By fitsnews December 13, 2009 at 7:58 am
KB-
Ha! Good point. We thought about that, too, but then remembered Mrs. Sic don’t play!
-FITS
By Dan May 11, 2010 at 3:25 pm
LOL. After clicking that link, I can see why she is one of your favorite people in DC. Come to think of it, she is now one of my favorite people in DC.