ACORN, What?

ACORN this, ACORN that . . . we’ve  honestly been avoiding all the headlines.  The whole thing seems blandly entrenched and just so damned industrial, too tedious for our taste.

Which is why we’re guessing some (many?) of you might be interested. So,  here’s the scoop.

ACORN, a vast “community outreach” group, is mere pawn and proxy, a fabricated brigade on the battleground for partisan dominance.

Bobbing in and out of national attention, ACORN is not unlike pop tart Britney Spears – something about which we only care when there’s some kind of collision.  Last we heard of ACORN was in the fall of 2008, when it was engaging in naughty voter registration practices – sticking a leg out for Republican John McCain and giving a leg up to Democrat Barack Obama.

So, the stage was already set: Right versus left … surprise, surprise.

Now, a year forward, the context – partisanship – is the same, only this time packaged in different pretext.

Secretly taped videos have recently surfaced, the most scandalous of which shows ACORN workers advising deceptive tax strategy to an undercover pimp and prostitute.

Tax cheating is a big deal?

Actually, no, it’s not a big deal (for Obama’s Cabinent appointments, at least).

Tax cheating doesn’t get major media play unless you happen to be availing yourself of the very tax money you’re refusing to cough up. (It’s kind of like those penny pots they have at some places of retail: It’s not so bad if you don’t put pennies in there, as long as you don’t ever take any out. Good form, and all that).

Thus it is that ACORN now finds itself at the center of a brewing mess.

Specifically, the federal government, together with some state governments, has voted to freeze subsidies pending an investigation into ACORN’s practices.  And good for them.

But thus cometh the drama, and the real reason anyone cares: Republicans are craving an opportunity to conflate ACORN with the left, and with that an air of embedded impropriety, forcing the Democratic party to turn its back to its most ideologically aligned civilian counterpart.

Us?

We’re just keeping an eye out for our pimps and hoes …

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