Hunley Vibrators Should Be Hopping Off The Shelves

For those of you unfamiliar with this website, our founding editor has a deep and abiding hatred for any taxpayer-funded expense related to the H.L. Hunley, the confederate submarine that famously sank in Charleston harbor in 1864 – and was even more famously raised 136 years later.

Frankly, South Carolina would be much better off financially had we never found the damn thing, but that hasn’t stopped S.C. Senate President Glenn McConnell from making the Hunley his phallic … err, personal obsession.

Obviously, McConnell’s unnatural fixation with this long, sleek vessel would be fine -  if he were paying Hunley-related bills personally and not shelling out millions of taxpayer dollars on the gooey rustbucket.

But we’ve made that point … several times, in fact. No need to belabor it here.

Anyway, as it happens the Hunley’s top marketer, Ms. Raegan Quinn, is a favorite of our founding editor’s wife – and thus earned a coveted invitation to a recent baby shower held for little Johanna Elyse Folks, a.k.a. the cutest baby girl in history (editor’s note: coochey, coochey, coo, baby Jo! Daddy loves you!)

Ever the devilish wit, Raegan’s gift to baby Jo – ostensibly for her future history lessons – was a miniature model of the Hunley sub (pictured above).

As the wine flowed and the evening progressed, however, it was observed by one member of the party (amazingly, not Sic Willie), that the mini-Hunley – with a few modifications – might make a nice vibe (i.e. one of these). In fact, before long the mini-Hunley’s “Rabbit-like” qualities began to be appreciated by several of the ladies in attendance at the soiree, with more than a few of them caressing the mini-Hunley in a manner that was pleasing to Sic and the other gentlemen in attendance.

Very pleasing.

Obviously, unlike the Hunley itself, we think the marketing possibilities here are limitless …

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