Just What “The Great National Drama” Needed

Lesbians equal ratings, the notorious shock jock Howard Stern once observed/ discovered.

Of course, we’ve always preferred “bicurious” women to full-on “lesbians” – if for no other reason than there’s a considerable uptick in the talent available for your viewing pleasure.

Either way, we’re welcoming Hailey Glassman to “The Great National Drama,” a.k.a. TLC’s reality family show  “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ with open arms … and, in Sic Willie’s case, open zippers.

Sure, Jon Gosselin’s new girlfriend is a cheap Mariah Carey knockoff, but with viewer fatigue taking a bite out of the show’s ratings (and Michael Jackson’s death taking a bite out of their magazine covers), something more than a mall rat as the third woman was clearly required to spice things up.

And according to Hailey’s alleged ex-lesbian lover, Joy Lawlor, Hailey is going to deliver … and then some.

From Celebuzz:

According to Lawlor, she met Glassman when she was 18 and attending Indiana University (where Glassman would eventually enroll herself). Apparently, a particular detail in Lawlor’s online profile caught Glassman’s attention—and it wasn’t Joy’s academic major.

“I was 18, studying biology and I put on my profile that I was a lesbian,” Lawlor recalls. “Hailey mailed me and said that she was interested in going to IU. She also said she was interested in lesbianism. When she finally joined IU she said it had mainly been because of me…We became close and began making out in my apartment. Soon she told me she loved me.”

However, things eventually went sour between the sapphic duo, largely due to Glassman’s hard-partying ways.

“It was Hailey who introduced me to cocaine and I did it with her in her dormitory room,” Lawlor remembers. “She was also smoking marijuana.”

And now, Lawlor warns, Glassman is bound to bring similar misery to Gosselin’s life, probably sooner rather than later.

“The last thing Jon needs to do is stick around that woman,” Lawlor says. “She will use him to make herself famous and then she will leave him for someone else she can profit from…Anyone, be they male or female, is a target. She just wants to make people do whatever she wishes. That’s what she is going to do to Jon. The best thing he could do is get as far away as possible from her. She is toxic.”

Wait, but was her bi-curiosity a college thing? “Like torn Levis … or, law school for you?” (Hat tip, Avery).

Anyway, we long ago passed – came back to – and then passed (again) the point of caring about these ridiculous people, but if there’s a chance that girls are going to kiss other girls, we’re there.

Again.

Who knows? Maybe it’ll be like the second time we got suckered into watching one of those Danica Patrick “bi-curious” videos. Because that was gratifying …

Pic: Splash News Online

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