Playboy Haters

One of the great things about having such a morally-compromised founding editor is that we know precisely what terms like “hate f*ck” mean.

And no, it doesn’t mean what you think it does, although it sounds enough like it “might” mean what you think it does to have hit the radar of our favorite conservative columnist, the drop-deadaliciously gorgeous (and usually dead-on) Ashley Herzog.

From Herzog’s latest column on Townhall.com:

(Last month) the pigs at Playboy magazine published a list of ten conservative women they’d like to “hate f-ck,” because “we may despise everything these women represent, but goddammit they’re hot.”

A “hate f-ck” sounds like rape to me, which I assume was Playboy’s point. The list was filled with leering observations about the women’s “tight bodies” and “saucy looks,” and concluded with each woman’s “hate f-ck rating.”

… So Playboy is obviously a cheerleader for gender equality—as long as you’re a naked sex object who needs an abortion. Just don’t express any opinions. Then liberals will openly discuss their desire to put you back in your place with a violent sexual encounter.

Shazam!

Go tell it on the mountain, sister!

Of course, Herzog’s prodigious talent is tragically misapplied here, seeing as a “hate f*ck” (similar to a “grudge f*ck”) is not rape. In fact, it’s not even really close to rape – even though it does sound like it could be.

You can parse the various “official definitions” of the term all you want, but the bottom line is if you’ve ever gone back and had sex with a crazy ex-girlfriend (or for that matter an ex-fiance with a hankering for throwing chicks into furniture), then you’ve “hate-fucked.”

Same thing if you’ve ever “gone there” with someone whose opinions you disagree with.

Playboy, however, didn’t want to parse those definitions.

In fact, the outrage over its “hate f*ck” post was so great that the magazine pulled it from the web. In fact, if you go to the article now, here’s what’s you’ll see (warning NSFW) …

For those of you who still care who Playboy wanted to “hate f*ck,” here’s their list.

And frankly, with the exception of Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann and our favorite Filipino temptress, it was a bit of a dud.

Laura Ingraham? Sheesh.

And duh … where’s Herzog? How can a bunch of sexist liberals compiling a list of sexy conservatives leave her off the list?

That’s like compiling a list of all-time great hockey players and forgetting Wayne Gretzky. Or ranking top TV chefs and forgetting Emeril.

Anyway, the good news for us in all this is that after habitually worshiping the ground Ashley Herzog walks on (here, here, here and here, for example), we’ve finally manned up and told her “who’s who and what’s what” for a change.

And you know what means …

Our place or yours, Herzog?

Oh, and in addition to “that,” we’re pretty sure Playboy‘s list gives us the right to do a Top 10 liberals we’d like to “hate f*ck” …