Felicity Shagwell Is Busting Out

Oh behave!

Felicity Shagwell (a.k.a. Wisconsin hottie Heather Graham) was in Las Vegas last night for the premier of the movie Hangover and seriously, people … how are we supposed to maintain eye contact in a situation like this?

It’s like that mole on her left breast is tractor beaming us straight into … to … to … to …

(crying sound)

“ma-ma … ma-ma”

(sucking sound)

Anyway, in related news Graham paid a visit to a strip club on her Vegas jaunt and was reportedly quite disappointed by what she saw.

“I take pole dancing classes so I thought it was more about girls doing these amazing dances, but it was really just like gyrating,” she said.
“It was way seedier than I was picturing it in my head.”

Wait … Heather Graham takes pole dancing classes?

We are now officially picturing something “way seedier” in our heads …