Obama To Announce “Cybersecurity Czar”

Barack Obama must be more pissed off than we thought about not being allowed to use his Blackberry because he’s inventing a new “Cybersecurity Czar” whose sole job is to make the Presidential wireless Internets safe.

Of course we’re kidding about the job description, but Obama is deadly serious about the position. Which seriously sucks.

From The Register:

While the idea is whoever is appointed will be someone who can “pick up the phone and contact the president directly, if need be,” the advisor no longer would report directly to Obama, according to the report. What’s more, the czar would now have two bosses, in an attempt to strike a balance between homeland security and economic concerns.

Over the past few months, turf wars have arisen between advisors who want the ultra-secretive National Security Agency to oversee the country’s cybersecurity. Others have said the job is best carried out by the National Cybersecurity Center, an office within the Department of Homeland Security that’s responsible for coordinating the defense of civilian, military and intelligence networks. In March, the government’s cybersecurity chief abruptly resigned amid allegations his office was woefully underfunded and inappropriately controlled by the military.

The plan for the czar to report to a senior economic advisor appears to be an effort to give Senior White House Economic Advisor Lawrence H. Summers a degree of control in ensuring efforts to protect private networks don’t unduly threaten economic growth.

Good God. It’s musical chairs up there.

First of all, we need to stop calling positions like this “Czar.” America is not a pre-communist monarchy, it’s a pre-communist Republic – well, make that a pre-communist “socialist” Republic, anyway.

That means they’re “Ministers.”

Second, what are the limits on this new Ministry’s authority going to be?

Because we’re envisioning them creating a Terminator to come and hunt us down like they did to that John Connor kid … oh, and Guns-N-Roses.

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