As much as we push the private-sector, capitalist thing, FITSNews is actually a public service. After all, this site provides fodder for the plurality of the content on third-rate South Carolina blogs.
Seriously, on any given day, other blogs’ content is about either FITSNews, its founding editor, or, increasingly me.
It would be parasitic – about what would they write if not us? – if it weren’t so curiously symbiotic. It’s like Sic says . . . what matters is that they keep spelling our names correctly.
And speaking of spelling, that happens to be the subject of the latest ode to me.
According to an article breathlessly entitled “Oh, Mande,” a misspelling in a FITS post means, inexplicably, that I indeed exist.
To wit:
[The misspelling is] also the strongest evidence yet that Mande Wilkes- whose prose on FITS News marches in a most rococo way across the landscape in search of ideas but at least can spell, is, in fact, not Anaconda’s imaginary friend.
I don’t quite get the connection, but I’ll try to translate:
Someone thinks I’m a stellar speller, so any misspelling in a FITS post must mean that I didn’t write that particular post – and by extension, that there’s more than one writer. Which is to say that there is, finally, evidence of my existence – an existence which remains otherwise unsubstantiated.
In sum: My capacity for phonetics renders me real.
This is excellent news for South Carolina bloggers.
Until now, articles such as “Oh, Mande” bordered on irresponsible journalism. Now the fact of me has been verified, legitimizing the topic once and for all.
Real or not, you can, as always, count on my spelling.
Promise that I can count on yours – especially with regard to my name.
By Sic Willie May 16, 2009 at 8:49 am
FYI
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Puba
I swing, I hit.
By BIN News Editorial Staff May 16, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Oh Mande, the parasitic plurality of your symbiotic fodder may make you a stellar speller and your capacity for ph’onics may render you real, but you would still be better off waiting tables at Cagney’s.
At least there you would have a future. And make tips.
Really. Our funding editor is sure she can get you the job. She eats there regularly, and she’s a great tipper.
BIN News Editorial Staff
Flair and Balanced
By Mab May 16, 2009 at 4:55 pm
BIN — I think I know who your funding editor is and ‘she’ is no she.
It’s a big ol’ hairy man.
By BIN News Editorial Staff May 16, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Our Funding Editor is quite secure in her femininity.
By Mab May 16, 2009 at 9:44 pm
So secure that she has to stalk Mande by proxy [you]?
By Pat Hendrix May 17, 2009 at 9:02 am
Irresponsible journalism? Pots and kettles and all that.
Journalism? Is that we are calling blogs today? Unremittingly silly posts on the day’s non-scandal du jour? Pimping for paid services under the pretext of journalism? Nah, fits, like the rest of these political blogs, is equal parts vanity project and blunt weapon. Pretending anything on fits or Palmetto Scoop is even a rough approximation of journalism is laughable.
By BIN News Editorial Staff May 17, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Pat’s right. BTW, did you notice Mande’s spelling error?
She describes fits as a “public service,” but in light of the porn sic(k) willie posts she almost certainly meant to write “pubic service.”
Mande, have you closed this down?
http://mandewilkes.com/
By James the Foot Soldier May 17, 2009 at 8:39 pm
patricia – lambasting the very institution that you frequent seems odd. Were some newspapers in the state able to break stories with the frequency and sprit of this website perhaps they would not be teetering on bankruptcy?
Adn look everyone, bin tried to be funny. Keep trying bin – you ignorant slut. Some day you may accomplish such a feat (see how easily the clever puns roll from my keyboard).
By BTW May 17, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Yo BIN- if you are so secure in your femininity, how about putting an elastic compression stocking on your wee wee…and the last little piggy cried wee, wee, wee, all the HOME. You better do it or the Big Bad Wolfe will b-b-b-Blow your House down! Double entendre: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_entendre
By Toyota Kawaski May 18, 2009 at 8:49 am
Man-d how was Maine? Did the happy couple spoon some lobster while up YONDER?