It took a few days for its instrumentation to properly recalibrate after receiving such a seismic shock, but the Academy of Human Arousal today announced that Megan Fox’s shocking admission of her bisexual attraction for Olivia Wilde was indeed the greatest thing to ever happen to penises.
And va-jay-jays, for that matter.
In case you missed it, here’s what Fox said to Esquire:
I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl. Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands.
Wwwwwhoa …
That’s right, this woman said that about this woman.
We know. Feel free to take a moment for yourselves …
According to AHA scientists, the least arousing thing to ever happen to penises and va-jay-jays is still Richard Simmons.
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