Sex, Lies, & Tattoos: A South Carolina Scandal Or Business As Usual?

By Mande • on May 12, 2009

It’s not exactly news that there are lying politicians, corrupt municipalities, and incomprehensible administrative law procedures – which may explain why nobody’s talking about the latest governmental clusterfuck in South Carolina, a state where lying, corruption and incomprehensibility reign unchallenged.

But this particular story of corruption is actually pretty interesting and not all that routine, and so we think it deserves some airtime.

Peripheral to the story is a porn store, which obviously makes the story perfectly at home on this here little “porn” outlet.

We’ve got a rep to protect, after all.

Several years ago, porn shop Excitement Video successfully sued the town of Atlantic Beach, and as part of the settlement won the right to open an adjacent tattoo parlor.

The lawsuit itself was not about tattoo shops, mind you, but about the town’s business licensing practices – practices which, in our view, amount to a gang charging “rent” from other gangs which use its streets to sell drugs . . . yes, it’s that corrupt. Here we are referring to the town’s method of calculating licensing fees, the determination of which is based on a percentage of gross annual sales – usually 4%; it’s a whimsical town, so your mileage may vary.

Whimsical too is Atlantic Beach town manager Kenneth McIver – a central character in our unfolding drama.

McIver, in a fit of wily political caprice, certified to the South Carolina Department of Health and Environmental Control (DHEC) that an Atlantic Beach public playground had been “condemned,” and was no longer being used as a playground. DHEC relied on that certification to grant a permit to Excitement Video to open a tattoo parlor.

From McIver’s letter:

“Let this letter serve as official notice that the public park located at 1006-32nd Avenue South, Atlantic Beach, SC inspected by DHEC on December 17, 2008 was condemned and is not in use by order of the town of Atlantic Beach. At this time, the Town does not intend to reopen the park and it remains condemned and not in use.”

Such was the genesis of 5 Jesters Custom Tattoo – and such was the genesis of its death, or of what should have been its death.

Turns out that McIver lied when he said that the town’s park was no longer a playground – and it turns out that DHEC prohibits tattoo parlors from locating next to public playgrounds.

After a WPDE News Channel 15 investigation revealed McIver’s lie – in fact, capturing footage of a playground in full spring swing – DHEC rescinded 5 Jesters’ permit.

DHEC has also refused 5 Jesters’ appeal, leaving the parlor the lone option of appealing to the South Carolina Administrative Law Court.

Except that that’s not the parlor’s only option. 5 Jesters continues to operate without a permit, and without any apparent Administrative Court appeal.

Meanwhile, Kenneth McIver, demonstrated liar, still has his job.

So does town attorney Stephen Benjamin, who is alleged to have advised McIver to certify his lie to DHEC.

Sources close to the story – speaking on condition of anonymity (lest they invoke the wrath of the fiefdom) – say they are confident that 5 Jesters will remain open for business.

These sources tell FITS that Atlantic Beach simply cannot afford further legal action, which Excitement Video is likely to pursue if it is forced to close 5 Jesters.

And DHEC is obviously not interested in finishing what it started – in shutting down a demonstrably illegal business, or in punishing a demonstrably deceptive town administration.

Like we said at the beginning of this article, political corruption is hardly newsworthy. But rarely is the corruption so blatant, the lies so salient, or the sleaze so manifest.

Still, the whole thing’s being treated like business as usual. And except for its piercing patency, business as usual it is.

We’re watching this story closesly, so stay tuned to FITS for further developments . . .