First Place?

No, we’re not talking about the Cleveland Indians.

At 12-21, the Tribe has the second-worst winning percentage in all of baseball and is bringing up the rear of the AL Central – a division many analysts projected Cleveland would win.

Instead, the Wahoos are looking like those chumps from the movie Major League – well, before a nudie cutout of the team’s ruthless, ex-stripper owner served as a symbolic reverse metaphor for the growing trust that a rag-tag assemblage of unheralded rookies and washed-up journeymen placed in each other en route to their miraculous cinematic finish (oh, and an absolutely awful sequel).

But we digress … and like we said, we’re not talking about the Indians.

The team we’re referring to today is none other than our founding editor’s FITS Fartknockers – a.k.a. “America’s (Fantasy) Team.”

Unlike Cleveland, FITS is in first place – despite the face that Lyle Overbay (who?) is its first baseman and struggling Indians’ pitcher Carl Pavano is in its starting rotation.

No really. “Flotsom and Jetsam,” they’re our starters.

It’s truly a surprising development, even though Mrs. Sic keeps telling her husband “it’s not real, you know that, right?”

But it feels real. And it feels amazing.

Fartknockers’ owner Sic Willie had his worst fantasy draft ever, he’s fielding perhaps his least-talented team ever … and yet FITS is still in first.

“It can mean only one thing,” Sic told ESPN’s Erin Andrews, who covers his team exclusively for the network. “That I am the greatest fantasy baseball manager of all-time.”

Of course, we know that’s not true.

In 2007, the Fartknockers suffered the greatest one-day collapse in the history of sports to cough up the Great Santini League championship trophy (a.k.a. this thing).

And last year, well … Sic got p-whipped.

But for one fleeting day this May (well, two days), Sic is looking back on a field of much more talented teams – and inquiring of them “how’s my a**hole taste?”

Ah, the nobility of competition.

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